Did I Get a Girl for You! (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 53295

Continuing in a Sondheim vein
..

Did I Get a Girl for You! (GoF, Chap. 1)

To the tune of Have I Got a Girl for You from Sondheim's Company

Dedicated to Amy Z

THE SCENE: The Riddle House, as WORMTAIL babysits the grotesque 
homunculus VOLDEMORT

VOLDEMORT: Wormtail, I need somebody with brains, somebody whose 
loyalty has never wavered, and you, unfortunately, fulfill neither 
requirement


WORMTAIL: I found you.  I was the one who found you.  I brought you 
Bertha Jorkins
..

WORMTAIL: (music, quoting what he said when he first produced Bertha) 
"Did I get a girl for you! Wait till you grill her!
Did I get a girl for you, Lord!
I've scored!
Dumb! With the Department of Sports and of Games
She knows of Barty and she will name names
She's in Albania on a sojourn
Open her mind up, there's so much to learn!"
 
VOLDEMORT:
Did you get a girl for me! Too bad I killed her!
Did you get a girl for me, Worm!
Confirmed!
Smart! A stroke of genius unlikely at best
Your magical skills have seldom impressed
Credit I grant you whenever it's due:
Positive feedback from ol' You-Know-Who!

Have I got a task for you! Wait for it, Peter!
Have I got a task for you, son!
What fun!
Pete! For this most wizards would their right hand give!
The honor of making the Dark Lord re-live!
And there's no spoiling my big surprise
Harry will soon meet my noose, then he'll meet his demise

WORMTAIL (spoken): It could be done without Harry Potter, My Lord
..

(music)
Whaddya want? Some blood with the bone and the flesh?
A body to resume your Dark wars?
Whaddya want? To be resurrected afresh?
Then whaddya wanna get Harry for?
Whaddya want? A volunteer willing to go?
Supplying you with victims galore?
Whaddya want? There's surely no shortage of foes!
Then whaddya wanna get Harry for?
Whaddya wanna get Harry for?
Whaddya wanna get Harry for?
Whaddya wanna get Harry for?

(WORMTAIL'S voice gradually fades under VOLDEMORT'S withering glare)

    -	CMC

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