So That I Wasn’t Alone (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 53417

In which Lupin shows that he can outdo Catherine Z-J on the dance 
floor




So That I Wasn't Alone (PoA, Chap. 18-19)

To the tune of I Can't Do It Alone, from Chicago (film version)

Dedicated to Gail, my fellow Maven

THE SCENE: The Shrieking Shack. LUPIN's biographical account of his 
lycanthropy is rudely interrupted by SEVERUS SNAPE

LUPIN
When I was a boy a werewolf gave me a bite
When I was a boy a werewolf did not have rights
`Cause I was a wolf, Hogwarts was a distant dream
But Dumbledore said that werewolves should be mainstreamed

And with the moon of course,
When it waxed I much was taxed
So with the lunar phase
Each 30 days
I'm sent to the Shrieking Shack

Hear this.
Now we had Animagic learned by three people
It was great with three people.

First he'd... (LUPIN pantomimes Dumbledore escorting him to the 
Shrieking Shack )
Then it'd....( LUPIN pantomimes the waxing of the full moon)
Then I'd... (LUPIN pantomimes transforming into a savage werewolf)
I had to do it alone!
Then they'd... (LUPIN pantomimes the young James, Sirius & Peter 
furtively studying Animagic arts)
Then I'd... ( LUPIN again pantomimes transforming into a werewolf)
Then we'd...( LUPIN pantomimes James, Sirius & Peter making their 
Animagic transfigurations)
So that I wasn't  alone!

They'd say, "What's a werewolf like?"
I'd say, "MEAT,"
They'd say, "Let's through Hogwarts prowl"
Then I'd growl
But no one eat
When I went... (LUPIN pantomimes entering the Shrieking Shack)
Black went...(LUPIN pantomimes Sirius persuading SNAPE to follow 
LUPIN through the Whomping Willow)
Snape went... ( LUPIN pantomimes SNAPE walking through the tunnel to 
the Shack)

And then a full-fledged monster started to roar
Would've used Snape to mop up the floor
James rushed in and pulled him to shore.

SNAPE (to himself, under the invisibility cloak)
Now I'll say, "O.K. fellas, put your hands up. 
You ain't seen Severus yet!"

(SNAPE removes the cloak to reveal himself)

Now I have caught the two of you alone

LUPIN
Will you hear us out? Come on, you can say.

SNAPE (gives a raspberry)

LUPIN 
O.K. O.K. But is a schoolboy grudge worth putting an innocent man 
back inside Azkaban? 

SNAPE
Is it? Watch this!

I'll go...(SNAPE binds LUPIN with magical cords)
 Then I'll...( SNAPE pantomimes summoning the Dementors)
They'll go ...(SNAPE pantomimes the Dementors administering the Kiss 
to Black & LUPIN)
 
And then the Merlin Order they will award
For catching  pals of the vile Dark Lord
Potter's pouts can be safely ignored

TRIO
But we'll say, "O.K. Snape,  you're talkin' nuts, so
here's a few disarmin' spells!" 
And this... we'll do in perfect unison.

(The TRIO point their wands at SNAPE)
 
When we speak you just pooh-pooh it
So, you force us to pursue it
And we simply will not do it
Alone!

(The TRIO simultaneously blast SNAPE with their wands, knocking him 
unconscious)

    -	CMC

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