SHIP: Why I dislike H/G

[Calliope]

No: HPFGUIDX 54248

me: (Calliope)
 
> >1) It implies that there is nothing attractive about Ginny other than
> >her family, and that Harry would *only* be with her for her family.
> >That's exactly the same as saying if she were rich, he would be with
> >her for her money.

Felinia:
> Personally, I believe that someone having a large, loving, accepting family 
> is just about the exact opposite of the monetary example of wealth as a 
> motivating factor.  Modern values would have us think of marriage as 
> something only intensely personal and selfish, and it really isn't:  it 
> connects two families - especially if there are children - that 
> mother-in-law you can barely tolerate now is your child's grandparent, and 
> you are tied for the rest of your lives whether you like it or not.  I 
> personally think that Ginny's family is a huge positive attractor and a big 
> plus if we're speaking long term.

me again:

Okay, maybe the money thing was a bad analogy.  What I really object to is the
argument that Harry and Ginny should be together "*because* it gives him the big
Weasley family".  If the argument were "Harry and Ginny should be together
because their personalities mesh well together" or "Harry and Ginny should be
together because they understand and communicate well with each other" then I
wouldn't have such a problem.  But to say they should be together *because of
her family* doesn't sit well with me.  

I totally agree that Harry desires (and needs) a family.  However, he really
already *has* the Weasleys - through Ron.  They have practically adopted him
already.  Look how Mrs. Weasley mothers him, especially at the end of GoF.

Felinia wrote:
> Ummmm...I realize I may not have much chance of succeeding long term, but I 
> always have to ask where I can:  is there any possibility of flushing the 
> term "desperate" from the lexicon of human relations to one another?  ;-)  
> It tends to put a very negative spin on positive, intense feelings and leads 
> to games of chasing the ones who run away.  

me:

Okay bad choice of words.  ;)  How about "Harry *craves* a family"?  Or *longs
for*?  (Though Dumbledore said the MoE shows the "deepest and most desperate
desires of our hearts"...and Harry saw a family...)

Felinia:
> Anyway:  Harry probably *would* 
> really like a loving, supportive family.  So?  Something positive that he 
> wants is supposed to *not* be appealing to him?  I don't think that's very 
> reasonable in terms of human emotion and motivation - no slight intended to 
> you in the least.

None taken.  ;)  No, I didn't mean that Harry's desire for a loving family is a
bad thing...or that a family wouldn't be appealing to him.  It's just that
getting involved with someone *because* you like their family might not be such
a great idea.  (I know personal experience is irrelevant, but I dated a couple
guys in high school, mumblemumble years ago, who it turned out had wonderful
families - who I loved dearly, as I had a relatively volitale family myself -
but the guys themselves were...less than compatible with me.  Glad I didn't
stick around with them for their families, as I wouldn't have my husband now!)

Now if Ginny turns out to be this great person who meets Harry's needs for a
strong-minded woman who keeps him from blaming himself for the world's problems
and retreating off into his own little corner for the rest of his life, then
yeah, it would be great for him to be with her, and her family would be a
*bonus*.  Not the main attraction.

Felinia:

> And I don't think that Harry would allow anything other than a powerful 
> feeling to make him serious in pursuit of Ginny.

me:

Agreed.  He's a very nice person.

Felinia:

> One thing you're not mentioning here is Ginny's feelings about *him*.  I, 
> for one, strongly believe that him saving her will increase her feelings for 
> him over time.  And I think Harry would be a sensible young man to allow 
> someone having strong feelings for him be a factor in his returning them and 
> coming to love someone who loves him, rather than chasing the unattainable - 
> like Cho.

me:

Er...I don't quite know how to phrase this.  Yes, Ginny has a crush on Harry. 
But I don't know if it's a *healthy* kind of crush.  She's been crushing on him
for *four years.*  Apparently, ever since Harry walked onto platform 9 3/4 for
the first time.  

I don't have my book with me, (I'm slacking off at work, waiting for time to go
home) but I do remember she started pestering her mom to let her go see him
*after Fred-George told them he was THE Harry Potter.*  She made no mention of
him, said nothing to him, until she found out who he was.  Then she talked about
him all through the summer between SS and CoS, according to Ron.  What the heck
did she talk about?  From the time she saw him on the platform in SS and the
time he showed up at her house in CoS, she hadn't seen or spoken to him.  All
she knew was whatever her brothers wrote home about.  

She has kept up this crush all the way through the books so far.  I just don't
think it's *healthy* to crush on someone *that* long!  Four years.  It's almost
bordering on obsessive.

If someone crushed on *me* for four months, hardly knowing me, and without
encouragement of any kind, I might think it was cute.  If it went on for four
*years*, without encouragement - I think I might begin to look over my shoulder
everywhere I went.  

Especially if said person had been influenced by my worst enemy.  

That is another reason Ginny with Harry bothers me - Tom Riddle's diary.  She
has been raised smack in the middle of the wizarding world, whose parents have
specifically told her "never trust anything if you can't tell where it keeps its
brain!" (not an exact quote) and yet she had no idea what she was getting
herself into.  Yes I know Dumbledore wasn't upset with her.  But it still
bothers me.  If she were "with" Harry, it would be too easy for LV to use her in
some way - knowing it had been done before.  It just makes me very uneasy.

I am *not* saying Ginny would ever do anything bad to Harry on purpose - heavens
no - but the potential is there for her to be very easily influenced to do
something unknowingly.

Me:
> >In addition, there has been *no* development of Ginny's character in
> >four whole books.  

Felinia: 
> As you say, not yet.  :-)  But there may yet be.  This series if pretty 
> tightly focused on the main trio.  

Me:
> >Obviously that objection would disappear if JKR actually *does*
> >something with Ginny besides have her fawn over Harry from afar in
> >book
> >5. If she waits till after this book, IMO it's too late.
> >Just my two knuts.

Felinia:
> My view?  It's never too late.  :-)

Me:

If JKR waits too long to develop Ginny's character and then all of a sudden
pairs them off, it's almost like a *deus ex machina* situation.  I would be very
disappointed if she paired them off with very little development - ie, the
current level of Ginny-appearances up until halfway through book 7, then in the
epilogue mentioned something about them being together.  I don't think she'd do
that, but...I'm still suspicious.

--Calliope

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