TBAY/SHIP: Crouch - Winky as Wife and Mother (9 of 9)

[Eileen]

No: HPFGUIDX 54507

"This *has* been an interesting conversation," says
Eileen, pulling her cloak about her. "But it's getting
on, the storm's approaching, and I just have to talk
to Pip about that Barty Jr./Draco parallel. Good
night, Elkins."

"Not so fast," says Elkins. "I seem to remember you
promising to answer all nine parts of the Crouch
novenna."

"Did I?" says Eileen nervously. 

"Yes, you did. In your first response."

"HPFGU posts can be deceiving," says Eileen evasively.
"Honestly, Elkins. You really don't want to propose
this. Then, I don't have to answer, and we'll forget
it ever happened."

"Sweep it under the carpet, Eileen?"

"I am sweeping nothing under the carpet," says Eileen.
"What you are about to propose is *so* ridiculous,
*so* strained, *so* perverse that it doesn't even
merit consideration."

"And that is why you were so quick to suggest it a
while back to the list?" 

"I only suggested it to deny I'd ever had such an
idea."

"Uh-huh," says Elkins.

"You're not serious!" says Eileen frantically. "This
is just some sort of crazy joke on the list!"

"I am serious," says Elkins. "Crouch/Winky was my
first reading of the text."

"Mine too," mumbles Eileen, looking at the ground. She
bites her lip for a second, then raises her head. "But
look here, it's the wrong reading!"

"Why?"

"Well, lots of reasons. For one thing, you and I are
the only people who seem to have ever seen it in the
text! Cindy said it was unimaginably revolting!"

"And compelling," said Elkins. "Quite a few people
found it *very* compelling. But, you of all people
should know that theory discussion is not about
popularity. It's the canons that count, and I have
several canons here."

"No, you don't," says Eileen. "I refuse to believe
it."

"Trapped in your own version of reality?"

"I can't believe you're doing this."

"Well, why on earth not?" Elkins glances up at the
CRAB CUSTARD banner. "He is Dead Sexy, isn't he?"

"Well, yes. But--"

"He was hardly geriatric. He was prematurely aged.
Still quite vital. And he does seem to have been a man
of rather...well, strong passions." Elkins smiles. "As
I think you've noticed, Eileen, although I *do* find
it interesting that you've never actually once cited
that aspect of his character as a part of your CRAB
CUSTARD defense."

"I, er, well..." Eileen shifts from foot to foot.

"Mmm-hmmm." Elkins smirks. "Those fits of apoplectic
rage, those suddenly bulging eyes. Sudden and abrupt
*tumescence,* yes? It is suggestive of a
rather...passionate nature, that. Rather like the way
that the Snapefans can sometimes get about those
throbbing veins that poor dear Severus develops
whenever he's...oh. Oh my! My, I really *am*
embarrassing you here, aren't I?"

Elkins steps back a few paces and regards Eileen with
frank interest.

"Now that is a truly extraordinary color," she says.
"How on earth do you *manage* that?"

Eileen's hands fly up to her crimson cheeks. Without
much effect, since her ears are just as flushed. 

"I.. I.." she is breathing rather heavily. "I don't
know what you're talking about." She buries her face
completely in her trembling hands.

"I'll give you a second to recover. A break..."

"No!" shrieks Eileen. "Not that quote. Not now!"

"So, did you notice?"

"I'm not going to say that... Of course one does...
Yes, I did."

Elkins nods. "We'll go on then."

"Yes," says Eileen. "We'll go on. You cite as evidence
for your case the fact that Winky was Crouch's only
confidante. And I disagree. I have a killer canon to
support my position, as you know. I dealt with that in
Part Seven."

"Not too bad," admits Elkins. "But I can shoot it
down."

"Do so then," says Eileen, gaining courage. 'But until
then, you know what I think about your "Crouch talked
to Winky about his job and therefore he must be
sleeping with her!' theory!"

"Yes, I know," says Elkins with a small smile. "But
remember, for around ten years, he'd had Winky as his
only confidante. She was the only person who knew his
secret."

"Just like Dobby knew Lucius Malfoy's secrets? Are you
suggesting something between Dobby and Malfoy?"

Elkins looks intrigued.


"As Winky makes clear," says Eileen steadfastly.
"Keeping their master's secrets is what house-elves
do. Crouch isn't out of the ordinary here. This is
perfectly common practice in the wizarding world.
These people have been taught since early childhood
that you confide in the house-elves, even if you're
planning to wipe out a few Hogwarts students. The
house-elves won't let you down." 

She pauses.

"You've got to wonder what that does for family
relations," says Eileen to herself. "People need other
people to confide in. Who'd confide in their spouse
when they could confide in the completely trustworthy
house-elf? Yeah, I were Mrs. Crouch, I'd have hated
Winky. Ship or no ship, she would have been a third
wheel in that marriage, all right. But maybe Mrs.
Crouch was used to that sort of thing. Anyway, unless
you want to found the Lucius/Dobby ship right here and
now, I object to the use of that as evidence."

"But that's not the only thing going for the
Crouch/Winky ship," says Elkins in an exasperatingly
rational tone. "You said it yourself: the entire
Crouch
Sr./Mrs. Crouch dynamic is recreated between Crouch
Sr. and Winky."

"Minus that!" 

"I don't think so. She acts like she's in love with
him," says Elkins quietly. "Even Ron notices that, and
Ron is a fourteen-year-old boy. He says that she seems
to love him. He says it without a trace of sniggering
or
contempt or irony or hyperbole. He says it in dead
earnest."

"Ron didn't mean it that way!" says Eileen. "You're
always complaining about couplethinking, Elkins, and
now look what you're doing: couplethinking! You can't
leave it as storge. You have to eroticize it."

Elkins stares at her. 

"Of course, that's the point where I clued into the
ship," admits Eileen. "'She seems to love him.' I
spent the rest of the novel, and the next year or so
repressing the idea. I thought it was a poor choice of

wording on Rowling's part."

"She's in love with him."

"Yes," says Eileen. "She bloody well is."

There is a long pause. 

"You're starting to identify with Winky, are you?"
asks Elkins. 

"Well, it's inevitable," says Eileen. "I've served my
timeas every other member of this messed-up family. I
might as well take my turn as Winky. After all, you
know what character I'm like in HP."

"Yes, Percy does have a kind of a crush on Crouch." 

"But, Elkins, this is horribly unfair," says Eileen.
"You're taking advantage of me because *I* have a
crush on Crouch. So I can rather vividly imagine
myself in Winky's position."

Elkins shrugs her shoulders. "It might be horribly
unfair, but you brought it on yourself, you know."

"That's no comfort at all! I shouldn't have to suffer
the consequences of what I've done! I didn't know! You
can't do this to me!"

"Tell me, Eileen, is there any particular reason why
we should assume that a relationship which in all
other respects seems to replicate a sexual
relationship should
*not* have had a sexual component? I mean, is there
any reason that we should assume that Winky was *not*
sharing his bed?"

"Look, as any H/Hr shipper could tell you, all you've
done is establish that Winky had it bad for Crouch. I
admit that. But you need to establish reciprocal
attraction."

"And you're an R/Hr shipper," says Elkins mildly. "But
what did you say on this subject."

Eileen sighs. "I would be hard pressed to believe that
there was no emotional bond between Winky and him,"
she admits. "But I was not talking about eros."

"Why not?"

""Well..." Eileen squirms. "Well, it's just sort
of...distasteful. Isn't it?"

"Is it? Why?"

"Well, for starters, she's not human. And also
she's...well, tiny."

"This is a novel that gave us not one, but *two*
half-giant characters," Elkins reminds her. "And from
Fudge's comment about them not all turning out like
Hagrid, it would seem that it's not all that an
uncommon pairing in the wizarding world, either. I
don't get
the impression that wizards are too particular about
species. Or about *size,* for that matter."

"Well, I found that rather distasteful too," says
Eileen quickly. "In fact, I was very surprised that
there wasn't a move to ban GoF from the shelves for
that revelation. No, the ordinary public worries about
how many times the characters say "damn," how
disturbing Cedric's death is, and whether kids will
take to devil-worship after reading the books. They
don't care at all that their children are being
exposed to a cross-species relationship of dubious
consensuality."

"Crouch/Winky?"

"No, Hagrid's parents. Come, Elkins, you must tell me.
What did you think of my reading of that particular
aspect of the book? No-one has ever responded to me
there. But you must be interested. After all, it
neatly dovetails with the book's themes."

"Eileen, I'm warning you. Only a few crazy people care
about the Crouch family. If you keep on pulling the
Hagrid family name through the dirt, you can expect to
be murdered."

"All right. I'll let it go for the moment. Only, I'll
note once again that Hagrid's backstory exactly
matches the old English stories about men who catch a
mermaid or some other otherwordly creature, keep them
by magic, and after bearing them a son, the woman
takes off when she finds the object which is keeping
her there. If you want sexual relationships of dubious
consensuality, I don't think you have to look further
than everyone's favourite half-giant."

"Well, then, if you take *that* as authorial intentk"
says Elkins with a smile. "I don't think I need to
convince you that Crouch/Winky could have authorial
intent behind it."

"Could have," says Eileen. "But I'm not buying into
it. I just don't know if I think that it would occur
to
people in the culture to view the elves as objects of
lust. They're...well, they're really rather disgusting
and freakish, aren't they?"

"Harry thinks that they are, but he's not used to
them. I don't know if I think that the elves would
seem at all freakish or disgusting to someone who was
actually a member of one of those fine old
pure-blooded families."

Eileen stares at the ground. 

"What do you think?"

"Oh fine. It's not like I can really find out whether
it's normal to lust after the house-elves," says
Eileen. "I sort of missed my chance to grow up in one
of those fine old pure-blooded families. Why don't you
ask Avery?"

"Look, let's just come clean here, shall we? We both
*know* why Crouch/Winky is so disturbing, don't we?
The main reason that Crouch/Winky is a disturbing
concept is because she is his *slave.* And that's also
what makes it so very convincing. Because...well,
there's an awful lot of real life precedent, isn't
there?" Elkins pauses. "Eileen, wipe that goofy grin
off your face. This isn't funny."

"But it is," says Eileen. "I mean, not really, but if
you're as big a fan of Horace as I am, it's
exceedingly funny. About two sentences into your first
post, and I was thinking Ode II.4. It's Ode II.4!"

"Horace's Ode II.4," says Elkins, "upsets the
sensibilities of a modern audience."

"Oh, I know. Lord, what beasts those Romans were! But
such a masterpiece. Kit Smart's imitation/translation
is especially good, and it's been ringing through my
head the entire time you were haranguing me."

"Well, then, let's hear it."

"All right," says Eileen. "Just understand that this
is not my fault. It's the fault of Quintus Horatius
Flaccus (65-8 BC) and Christopher Smart (1722-1771)." 

She puts her hands behind her back. 

"Ahem...

Ode II.4 An Imitation

Colin, oh! cease thy friend to blame,
Who entertains a servile flame.
Chide not - believe me, 'tis no more
Than great Achilles did before,
Who nobler, prouder far than he is,
Ador'd his chambermaid Briseis.

The thund'ring Ajax Venus lays
In love's inextricable maze. 
His slave Tecmessa makes him yield 
Now mistress of the seven fold shield.
Atrides with his captive play'd,
Who always shar'd the bed she made.

'Twas at the ten years siege, when all
The Trojans fell at Hector's fall,
When Helen rul'd the day and night,
And made them love, and made them fight:
Each hero kiss'd his maid, and why,
Tho' I'm no hero, may not I?

Who knows? Perhaps Polly may be 
A piece of ruin'd royalty.
She has (I cannot doubt it) beeen
The daughter of a mighty queen;
But fate's irremedeable doom
Has chang'd her sceptre for a broom.

Ah! cease to think it - how can she,
So generous, charming, fond, and free,
So lib'ral of her little store,
So heedless of amassing more,
Have one drop of plebeian blood
In all the circulating flood?

But you, by carping at my fire,
Do but betray your own desire - 
Howe'er proceed - made tame by years, 
You'll raise in me no jealous fears.
You've not one spark of love alive,
For, thanks to heav'n, you're forty-five." 

"Well... thankyou."

"I don't think," says Eileen putting back her copy of
"Horace in English" under Ovid's Erotic Poems, "that
the general population has any idea how racey things
can get in the Classics Department."

"Or in Harry Potter," says Elkins. 

"But anyway, the heroine of Horace's poem loved
Phoceus (or Colin.)"

"Yes. She does. I don't know if that signifies. People
play the hands they're dealt, and all things
considered,
it's far better to love than to hate. Crouch/Winky
sort
of replicates the troubling ambiguity of the entire
SPEW plotline, doesn't it? She clearly really loved
him. But did she have a choice? To what extent to the
elves *really* like to serve?"

"That's true," sighs Eileen. "It certainly fits
thematically. But I'm not sure that the other reading
doesn't fit either. Winky as putting all her misguided
loyalty and love at Crouch's feet, and he ignoring it.
Like Percy with Crouch. Or Barty Jr. with Voldemort
for that matter...."  

"You don't want to talk me out of this ship, you know,
Eileen. You really don't." 

"Why on earth not?" asks Eileen.

"Because it makes me like Crouch better."

"Elkins! Why? It makes his treatment of Winky all the
more abysmal!"

"Does it? Oh, I don't know. Maybe it does. But it also
makes it somehow more forgivable. People get weird
when it comes to their lovers. Crouch/Winky actually
humanizes Crouch a great deal for me. It makes him
seem less like a thematic icon, and more like a real
person. It makes me find him a lot more sympathetic."

"Well, you know that. I know that. But will the list
know that? No, I'll tell you what the list will do,
Elkins. They will roll their eyes, and we shall never,
ever, ever discuss Crouch again with the list, for
fear of going here again."

"Not likely to happen while you're still around," says
Elkins. "Come, sign on to Crouch/Winky."

"No."

"Oh why not?"

Eileen draws a huge sigh. "Do you know what my
favourite ship in the whole entire Potterverse is?"

"R/Hr?"

Eileen shakes her head. 

"Ginny/Neville?"

"No." 

"Hi! May I interrupt?" comes a voice from behind them.

"My name's Petra, and I can't help but hear that
you're talking about the Crouches."

"So we are," says Elkins. 

"I have a theory of my own about the Crouches. You
know that Pensieve scene?"

"Do I ever," mumbles Eileen. 

"What if Barty Sr. is NOT, as most people would
read this scene, being histrionic? What if Barty Sr.
is telling the truth and nothing but?"

Elkins and Eileen stare at each other. 

"Oh, someone finally said it!" says Eileen. "Frankly,
I've been waiting for someone to suggest that for
months. Petra, I wouldn't be surprised if you had some
back-up in the wizarding world. It's just not fair to
be blond haired and freckled in this situation. It
invites so much gossip."

"What about the bulging eyes?" asks Elkins.

"Yeah, we have the bulging eyes," says Eileen. "Which,
I think, has kept this line of thinking at bay. I'm
sorry, Petra. I think the bulging eyes belie that
theory. And anyway, I'm not at all clear how Barty Jr.
not being Crouch's biological son would do for the
story. Adding in the mysterious real father of Barty
Crouch Jr. doesn't seem to do anything for the plot. I
think it reads better as it is. That's just my
personal opinion, of course."

"Very well," says Petra. "I'll have to convince you
some other time."

"I can't believe you missed that chance to cast
aspersions on Barty Jr.'s saintly mother," says
Elkins.

"But, Elkins, I SHIP the Crouches! Damnit! It's my
favourite ship in the Potterverse! I've been shipping
it passionately ever since I first read "Padfoot
Returns,"  and Sirius described Crouch as
half-carrying his wife from Azkaban. "Veritaserum"
only increased my devotion to the pairing. And you
know who my fellow shipper is?" 

"He loved her as he never loved me," sighs Elkins. 

"Exactly," says Eileen. "Keep Crouch/Winky to
yourself. I'm shipping along with Barty Jr." 

"Oh, are you? I've got Barty Jr. SUBTEXT right here!"
says Elkins. "It's... wait a second, I thought you
disliked Mrs. Crouch."

"Well, yeah," says Eileen, looking embarassed. "But
not when I'm shipping her with Crouch Sr. I enjoy
shipping her. I just don't like her as a mother." 

"Well, Barty Jr. did. He seems to have idolized his
mother, or at the very least to have romanticized her
a great deal after her death. But how did he feel
about Winky? Are there any indications that he felt
even the slightest bit of affection for her?"

"No, they aren't," says Eileen snappishly. "I've been
wanting to bring that up for a while, Elkins. The
ungrateful little brat."

"Wait a second," says Elkins. "Why *should* he have
felt
gratitude to Winky? She had nothing to do with saving
his life, and no matter how nice she may have tried to
be to him, she was still his jailer."

"Well, it was his own fault in the first place! If he
had never tortured the Longbottoms..."

"Oh, that is *low*, Eileen. Can't we have a nice
Crouch discussion without mentioning... torture? No?
Should I start talking about the authorization of the
Unforgivable Curses?"

"It'd be a long sight funner than this slander."

"Slander? Eileen, you wound me. I am merely trying to
look at the family dynamics here. Now, we all seem to
agree that whatever else he might have been, Crouch
the Elder was a bit of a tyrant when it came to his
familial relations. You would think that he must have
seemed like rather an ogre to his son, wouldn't you?
He sent him off to Azkaban. He bellowed abuse at him
while he was pleading for mercy. He held his life in
his very hands. He controlled him. He dominated him.
He bent him to his will. 'Total control.' And really,
Crouch Sr. was a quite impressive man in his day,
wasn't he? Forceful. Charismatic. Magnetic.
Domineering. He's still rather a
striking personality even by the time of canon, when
he's become a lame duck. CRAB CUSTARD, you know."

Eileen stares out to see. "You know, Elkins," she
says. "I promise you on my word of honour that I'll
never marry anyone like Bartemius Crouch Sr., no
matter how sexy they are."

"I think I've heard that before."

"Yeah, it was almost the first thing I wrote to you
when you first posted the novenna. And it's true, too.
I broke up with the Barty Crouch in my life... Good
thing too. We were entirely incompatible. So we went
our separate ways, and I expect he'll end up in the
diplomatic corps as planned. But, you see, Elkins. I
can't ship against my own personal inclinations, even
if I don't follow them in real life."

"As you wish. But, tell me, what does Barty Jr.
actually give as his reasoning for hating his father
so much? What does he tell Harry? That his father was
a bloody tyrant? That his father was a monster? That
his father
was Ever So Evil?"

"Oh yes, that would have been a successful statement,"
mutters Eileen. "He couldn't have attacked his father
on any of those grounds, could he have now? It'd bring
the conversation unpleasantly around to Replacement
Dad! Lord Voldemort. So, Barty casts around for
another reason to blame his poor father and calls
him..."

"Disappointing," says Elkins. "Now, why do you think
that he would have chosen that particular word?"

"Well..." Eileen thinks about it. "The *author*
probably chose that particular word," she says.
"Because it hearkens back to Voldemort in the
graveyard."

"It does do that. Voldemort is 'disappointed' in his
Death Eaters. Because they've been *unfaithful,* isn't
it? What is the significance of the fact that Crouch
Jr. uses that very same word to describe his father?"

"That Crouch Sr. had abandoned him in the Pensieve
scene, been unfaithful? At least, in Barty Jr.'s
twisted sense of things. We also discussed the fact
that Barty seems to have thought his father was
unfaithful to his mother, by leaving her to be buried
in Azkaban. Or even to die there. Barty Jr. obviously
idolizes his mother for saving him, but does he really
think his father ought to have allowed her to? I can't
help but think that some part of his conflicted mind
resents his father for letting his mother die for him.
To him, it would duplicate, not wipe away, the
rejection of the Pensieve scene. That's
unfaithfulness. Just as Riddle Sr. is unfaithful in
abandoning his wife and son."

"I have to say that when I look at a family dynamic in
which a son adores his rather sickly mother,
absolutely
detests his father, seems to loathe his father's
female servant in spite of the fact that she has been
kind to him, *and* refers to his father as
'disappointing...' Well, it just gets difficult for me
to avoid the suspicion that there are more than
political differences
underlying the conflict there."

"No, there's a good helping of martyred mother,
covered with an invisibility cloak there, too," says
Eileen snidely. "Elkins, tell me. Do you really think
Barty Jr. would have much liked his mother, if she
were still living?"

"He does seem to idolize her."

"Because she's dead. If she had lived, he would have
had to face up to her being one of his jailers.  Just
another two-faced liar. Just another hypocrite."

"So, if you want to predicate a ship of Barty Jr's
fantasy world, where his mother who conveniently isn't
around anymore is the heroine and the two people who
actually are keeping him under lock and key are the
villains, you can. But under the circumstances, I see
nothing peculiar at all about Barty Jr's hatred for
Winky. Or his father. Even though I think... Gah. We
won't even go there. You know what I think Barty Jr.
should have done when he was taken out of Azkaban.
Started being grateful. Make amends. Be redeemed. But
no, that didn't suit Barty Jr... I said I wouldn't go
there, didn't I? But tell me, Elkins. Isn't Barty Jr.
rather assertive about his parents' marriage in the
Veritaserum scene? This Crouch/Winky scenario expects
me to believe that he would be calling his father
"disappointing" one minute, meaning maritally
unfaithful, and then saying, "He loved her as he never
loved me." That's rather strong, isn't it?"

Eileen pauses.

"I said Barty Jr. mightn't have thought much of his
mother if she had lived. There's already a tinge of
envy there isn't there? He was jealous of his mother.
If she had lived, I think he might have ended up
hating her more than anyone else. Martyred mothers are
only fun when they're actually dead. But even when
they do die, they reincarnate themselves as Winky. Or
Gran Longbottom. Or Aunt Petunia.`

`Oh,` says Elkins. `You want to talk troubling gender
implications...`

`Yeah,` says Eileen. `I think I will. But first I have
to go talk to Pip. She might have some asbestos suits
to lend us.

Eileen

______________________________________________________________________ 
Post your free ad now! http://personals.yahoo.ca