FF/FILK: Draco's Hairbrush

[slytherincess]

No: HPFGUIDX 54533

Eileen, "The Students Who Don't Do Anything" was so much fun! It's 
inspired me to submit "Draco's Hairbrush Song," which I FILKed for 
the VeggieTales thread over at the Sugar Quill a month or so back. 
VeggieTales crack me up- they deserve their own category for 
FILKs, I think! (I'm thinking of doing "Oh My Hermione" to "Oh 
Barbara Manatee"). For those unfamiliar with the original song ("The 
Hairbrush Song" from VeggieTales), I have made an mp3 for those 
interested (2.9MEG). It's available at my own personal website at:

http://www.milclan.com/Slytherincess/thehairbrushsong.mp3

Draco's Hairbrush Song (FILKED from the SONG "The Hairbrush Song" 
from VeggieTales)

Narrator: "Our curtain opens as Draco Malfoy, having just finished 
his after-Quidditch shower, is looking for his beloved hairbrush. 
Having no success, Draco cries out ..."
 
Draco: "Oh, where is my hairbrush? My fair hair needs a good 
brush! Oh, where, oh, where, oh, my, my, hair, is, very, very, fair, 
oh, where, oh, where... is my hairbrush?" 
 
Narrator: "Having heard his cry, Harry Potter enters the scene. 
Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Draco in a towel, 
Harry attempts to retain his composure and reports ..." 
 
Harry: "Er.I think I saw your hairbrush back there!" Harry points 
to a dark corner of the Quidditch changing room, where a pile of 
mouldering towels lie, then quickly flees the changing area. 
 
Draco: "Back there is my hairbrush. In a lair, lies my hairbrush. 
Back there, back there, a lair, my lair, oh, where, my lair, back 
there, dark lair, is where ... I'll find my hairbrush!" 
 
Narrator: "Having heard Draco's joyous proclamation, Marcus Flint 
enters the scene. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of 
Draco in a towel, Flint regains his composure and comments ..." 
 
Flint: "Why do you need a hairbrush? You have glue in your hair!" 
 
Narrator: "Draco is taken aback. The thought had never occurred to 
him. Draco Malfoy? With Lego hair? What would this mean? What will 
become of him? What will become of his hairbrush? Draco 
wonders ..." 

Draco: "Glue hair.won't need hairbrush. Glue hair.won't need 
hairbrush. Glue hair, glue hair, no fair, glue hair, from where, 
from where, did I get glue hair. Oh, my hairbrush." 

Narrator: "Having heard his wonderings, Severus Snape enters the 
scene. Shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Draco in a 
towel, Snape regains his composure and confesses ..." 
 
Snape: "Malfoy, that old hairbrush of yours ... Well, you never 
use it, you don't really need it. So, well, I'm sorry ... I didn't 
know. I gave it to Granger - 'cause she's got hair to spare!" 
 
Narrator: "Feeling a deep sense of loss, Draco stumbles back and 
laments ..." 
 
Draco: "Not fair! Oh, my hairbrush. Not fair! My poor hairbrush. 
Not fair, not fair, glue hair, glue hair, my hairbrush is grooming 
the Mudblood's hair! My poor hairbrush!" 
 
Narrator: "Having heard his lament, Granger enters the scene. 
Herself in a towel, both Draco and Granger are shocked and slightly 
embarrassed at the sight of each other. And why is Granger in the 
Quidditch showers in the first place? Nevermind. Recognizing 
Draco's generosity, Granger is thankful ..." 

Granger: "Thanks for the hairbrush, Malfoy." 
 
Narrator: "Yes, good has been done here. Granger exits the scene 
with a toss of her magnificent, bushy coif. Draco smirks and sneers, 
but, still feeling an emotional attachment for the hairbrush, calls 
out ..." 
 
Draco: "Take care of my hairbrush. Take care, oh my hairbrush. 
Take care, take care, don't dare not care. Take care. Nice hair. No 
fair. Take care, take care ... of my hairbrush." 

Narrator: "The end!"