Filk: The Gilderoy Lockhart Song

[mlle_bienvenu]

No: HPFGUIDX 54617

This is a filk (my first ever!) based on the song, "The Elephant" by 
Flanders & Swann (a very funny song in it's own right!) Enjoy.

Mlle Bienvenu
-----------------------------------------

Being a famous sorcerer is incredible, not slow
I've been a sorcerer all me life so I blooming well ought to know.

They never forget my name or face, ooooh!
They follow me from place to place, ooooh!
I, of course, am smiling wide
And gracefully will swell with pride
the publicity that spreads my fame
from all the books that bear my name, ooooh!

And all because a perfect smile got me in Witch Weekly.
But that wasn't enough for me!

So I'm suffering from amnesia
My mind's a perfect blank!
Now life is very much easier
And Weasley's wand's to thank;
I'm being psychoanalyzed,
I lie on a divan
And flash a smile and try to look charming as I can!

I'm an Extroverted, Gilderoy-centric, megalomaniac,
And I'll stick in St Mungo's hospital till I get me memory back!

I'm a kleptomaniac,
My charm, it never fails,
Obliviating their memories
So I can spin me tales;
I've stolen their achievements
The world will never guess
That ugly witches and wizards
Are the secret to success!

I'm an Extroverted, Gilderoy-centric, kleptomaniac,
And I'll stick in St.Mungo's Hospital till I get me memory back!

I suffer from megalomania
Head's as wide as it is long 
Now I'm off to save Armenia 
(or, that's what I tell the throng.)
I've saved them all from werewolves
(or at least that's what I wrote)
They never guess that all the time
I'm laughing in me throat!

I'm an Extroverted, Gilderoy-centric, Megalomaniac,
And I'll stick in St. Mungo's Hospital till I get me memory back!

(Hums very badly)
Practicing me charming winning smile!
(More humming very badly)
And I'll stick in St. Mungo's Hospital till I get me memory,
get me memory,
get me memory back!