You Guys *Want* Hagrid To Die? Fine, Then!

[serenadust]

No: HPFGUIDX 57079

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "Cindy C." <cindysphynx at c...> 
wrote:
> I was just scrolling through the "Who Is The Death That JKR Says 
> Will Be Horrible To Write?" poll, and I notice a rather disturbing 
> statistics.  
> 
> Forty-eight percent of voters (213 people) predict Hagrid will go 
to 
> the great beyond in OoP.
> 
> <shakes head sadly>
> 
> I'm still thinking the smart money is on Hermione, myself.


I must admit that Hermione being the one to die does have it's 
appealing features (the best one being the final resolution of all 
those really fascinating ship debates, but I just can't see JK doing 
that to Ron and Harry. Not yet anyway!::evil grin::




Cindy continues:
  Be that 
> as it may, I'm willing to get rid of Hagrid if you guys absolutely 
> insist. 

 The problem, though, is the thorny question of the means of 
> Hagrid's demise.  
> 
> So forget *whether* Hagrid will die.  Let's jump right to *how* 
> Hagrid will die, shall we?  The possibilities:

<snip Dementor's kiss theory, Giant Squid theory, clean but boring 
AK, Lethifold, and finally Murdered-by-Mummy/ghost Hagrid>


Eh, I don't know...none of these options really floats my boat, 
although I do kinda like the "clawing at the mud, squid-tenticles" 
notion.  Do lethifolds even come big enough to take down Hagrid?

No, I want him to go out with the most shocking, most angsty, most 
horribly Bangy Bang of all .... I want him to die at the hands 
of ::gasp:: the good guys.

Okay, here's the scenario:

Hagrid has absolutely no clue that Sirius Black is innocent, right?  
He still hates his guts, still thinks he's a threat to Harry, and 
still regrets that he hadn't..."got ter Black before little 
Pettigrew did, I wouldn't've messed around with wands -- I'd've 
ripped him limb - from - limb." PoA, Chapter 10, p208 US hardback.

Now, what if at some point in OOP, poor Hagrid stumbles upon Black 
meeting with Harry, Ron and Hermione.  Maybe Sirius is really 
furious with Harry for taking some sort of stupid risk, and he's 
shouting, and generally reaming him out.  Hagrid assumes, as he 
would, that Black is finally about to finish Harry off and so he 
comes at him in a blind rage. Oh, HRH *try* to tell him that Sirius 
is not a threat and isn't going to harm them, but Hagrid is in no 
state to listen to reason.  Sirius has no wand and can't defend 
himself, and HRH can't let Hagrid murder Sirius as he is surely 
about to, can they? So what *can* they do?

Well, what do you *think* they do?  I figure three Stunning spells 
from the increasingly powerful junior Wizards would probably be 
enough to take him down.  Which would be fine, except that he
happens to be right next to:

1. a really tall cliff. He could even :wince: be impaled on a tree 
as he falls!

2. the lake. The deep, deep, bottomless lake.  He falls in and sinks 
like a boulder before the trio can do a floating spell.  He could 
even be pulled under by your giant squid, if you like (although, 
sadly without the mud-clawing, since he *is* stunned after all).

I don't know about the squid, though.  It seems to me it would be 
more likely to rescue Hagrid, based on their long-standing 
friendship and the fact that he scooped little Dennis Creevy out 
when he fell in (unless it was just "throwing him back" because he 
was too small to eat).  Maybe the squid has been co-opted by Voldy 
(Deatheater!Squid theory)?

Anyway, you get the idea. It's so poignant. Imagine the guilt! The 
exquisite angst possibilities!  It's Harrys!Choice!

So, what do you think?

Jo Serenadust, hoping to earn her FEATHERBOAS, even if she can't 
quite come up with any Bloody Ambush theories at the moment.