Crushes on female characters (Was: Hurt-Comfort and Comfort-Hurt)

[errolowl]

No: HPFGUIDX 57152



Between Darrin and me, we wrote:
> Pomfry, Sprout, and (gasp) Trelawney – you got to be kidding!
> In order. Too grandmother. Too aunt. Too crazy aunt locked up in 
> the attic. Molly? That would be practically incestuous. 
> True, but I bet she was a hottie, back in the day.
> 
> Which has me wondering. If the "Aunt", the "mother", 
> the "grandmother" etc are negative stereotypes while
> evaluating potential crushes ... how come the ladies don't feel
> Lupin is too fatherly, or Harry too brotherly, or Moody too
> "eccentric uncle in the attic"? ladies? 


Abigail replied:
> Oh, Errol. You don't really need an answer to that question, do 
you? 


No Abi, not really! <grin> T'was just a general commentary on how 
women evaluate fatherly characteristics as if it pertained to the 
father of their children, while guys see their own mother in motherly 
women for the most part. 

Rosebeth:
>>IMHO, Lupin's "fatherly" concern for Harry is reason to like him 
more. Being "fatherly" really is just a name for a group of things. 
He's caring, concerned, guiding. He disciplines Harry. Anyway, these 
are ideal qualities that we look for in men.<<


Oh, I got that. I was just wondering where the line is that seperates 
fatherly characteristics from the father stereotype.

Abigail:
>>It's not women who crush on older men who have a problem, it's the 
men who don't crush on older women. Women get old, men get 
distinguished. Older men are sexy, older women are not. It shouldn't 
be that way, but it is.<<

Twisted I agree. Though I _have_ known women who get sexier as they 
get older. Many older women are sexy too, they just need to keep the 
sparkle. Now if Minerva's eyes were to twinkle with humor, and
she made oddly irreverent speeches, and wore sparkly red heels under 
her robes, and wasn't so bent on being a disciplinarian, she
would certainly count on the crushometer. Then, any other mothering 
instinct she displayed would be easier to categorize under 
virtues/characteristics rather than push her into the mother 
stereotype.

But Moody can grumble and grouch and be as paranoid an old bachelor 
as possible, and still register with the women. Yes, Bent is the 
word. 


Abigail:
>>Also, as was frequently pointed out during the "Snape is/is not 
sexy" debate, being sexy is a function of how powerful you are. 
Almost all of the older men in the Potterverse are powerful, and 
relatively few of the older women are. Which is why Mrs. Lestrange, 
for example, whose age is never given, but who is certainly within 
Snape's age group and therefore not in the first bloom of youth, is 
still sexy - she has power.<<


But so do Minerva, and Rita, and Olympe. Here, power does not equal 
Sexy. It needs something more. Mme Maxime has more of that edge than 
the other two. If Power was the most potent aphrodisiac, Rosemerta 
would not count for much now would she? And She's older than
Snape too. No, there is something beyond power at work here. 


Tammy:
> > Jenny, you are not alone! My fourteen-year-old self is right 
there with yours, I can guarantee you that, ogling poor Harry and 
wishing she could make all his hurts go away. :-)<<


And Darrin, (quite) foolishly inserting himself into this:

>>Don't you ladies have any survival instincts? Harry's a nice kid 
and all, but he's also marked for death by the most evil wizard 
anyone can remember. Here's how a guy, IF he were being honest with 
himself and hadn't just finished watching the Terminator or Rocky, 
would react to a Harriet Potter, with the same problems.

Harriet: Yes, I've got Voldemort going after me. He's also targeted 
my best friend, Veronica and my other best friend, Herman. 
Honest guy: So, he'd also likely target anyone you started dating?
Harriet: Uh-huh
Honest guy: Well, good luck with that. And, uh, do you know if 
Lavender is seeing anyone?<<


LOL. Ladies, here I have to put Darrin's example in true light.
How many honest men do you know? <grin> Nah, I'd say there are a
few delusional folk out there who see themselves charging in and 
rescuing the damsel in distress ... the media has set us up for it I 
admit. The lure of being a MAN and solving all the worlds problems 
with a snap of the fingers, just so the ladies can swoon at you feet 
and tell you how wonderful you are... did I say delusional? I should 
have said hopelessly lost souls. Especially at fifteen. And at twenty 
five. And at thirty five.

So regular fifteen year old macho guy probably would be mooning at 
Harriet too, and making a total pest of himself trying to solve all 
her problems in the most high handed way possible.

And then of course, there are the honest men ...


>Darrin:
>I'm giving away all the secrets. The guys are going to KILL me.

Nah, you're ok... most of the guys are just pretending this
thread doesn't exist. If you don't see it, it never happened
right? You realize we were the only ones suckered into this little 
loop?

Errol
Who realises rather belatedly that most of this post is OT, and will 
skip to another thread now