TBAY: Bang + Angst = Bangst?

[errolowl]

No: HPFGUIDX 57174




Yet another unauthorized spoiler tornado swept 
across Theory Bay, and I hurried to what was 
becoming my usual place of shelter. The Royal 
George was a solid building, I'll have to give you that. 
And I could hear the usual voices from within even 
over the thunder.

--and that was strange, `cause there was surprisingly no one in
the tavern save Avery. At least no one that I could see--

"Say George, where's all the yelling coming from? Avery
hasn't finally flipped and turned ventriloquist, er, has he?"

"Oh, no..thats just all the usual sailors
you can hear
Dicentra, can't you.."

"Well, I can hear them..."

"Ah, Don't worry, they're just in the next dimension

you know, trying to talk to the general populace on the list

oops, I wouldn't choose that bar stool if I were you ... the
captain is sitting there.... Would you like a Margarita this
time?"

"She is? Er, yeah...a margarita sounds fine -- but George, do they
do this often? Be here, yet *not* be here?"

"Well, they do take the odd notion sometimes cause most listees
don't venture into TBAY you know." George leant across the
bar to whisper " But it's tough on customers... I have people
come in and try to sit on the same seats occupied by the sailors, and 
then they get a terrific fright when someone drops in from the other 
dimension to refill their drink. Just yesterday I had to send a wee 
little greek chapie to St Mungos...he was squashed flat too.. really 
bad for business" 

I took my drink and carefully chose a seat away from the disembodied 
voices. I could hear Captain Cindy growling:

"Hmmm. But there are lots of examples of Bang without Angst,
which shows JKR might not be a "Bangsta" after all.
In the Shrieking Shack, Lupin and Sirius almost execute Pettigrew, 
to the point of raising their wands and saying goodbye. They seem 
not the least bit troubled by this. Harry throws a badge and hits Ron 
in the forehead, but doesn't seem the least bit remorseful or angst-
ridden."

Dicentra interupts
"Well Cindy, that's because now we're running into Real Wizards
Don't Apologize territory, which you yourself staked out with your 
own flag Back In The Day, March 14, 2002, Message 36556." 

A weird creaky recording of the Captain's voice fills the
room

"Sirius never apologizes to Snape, Ron, or Lupin. Snape never 
apologizes to Harry, Lupin, or Sirius. Ron never apologizes to Harry 
for being a prat in GoF or paying off a debt with vanishing gold; 
Harry never apologizes to Ron for bopping him in the head with a 
badge. Lupin never apologizes to Dumbledore for the werewolf 
adventures or for his hideous errors in judgment throughout PoA. 
McGonagall doesn't apologize for letting Crouch Jr.'s soul get away 
from her. Don't even get me started on Hagrid."

Dicentra switches off the tale and says smugly "So if there's no 
apology, it's because there's no angst to begin with. Can't have one 
without the other."

I looked at George. "Er, can they hear me if I yell from
here?" Getting a shrug in reply, I cleared my throat and gave it
a shot.

" Umm, Why not have one without the other?" a sudden silence.
I rushed on. " I thought the real-wizards-don't-apologize was
a verbal expression thingy. Did I miss that part of the theory which 
said that if they don't say it, they don't feel it? Ron never
apologizes to Harry for the leprechaun gold..but he feels it bad 
enough to make an issue of it doesn't he? Oh, there's angst
aplenty."

More silence. "Oh well," I said conversationally
"What's this "Bangst" anyway?"

With a small Pop, Jo appeared on a nearby barstool. " oh, that 
started with me wondering if Bang + Angst = Bangst." 

"Oh! I see. But, but you know.... I always thought that the
"an" in the midst of BANG already *did* stand for angst.
Angst is a core element for something to bang -- I thought it was 
bANg, see?"

"WHAT?!" Bellowed a voice. "That's not the
definition. Consider the definition of "Big Bang":
>"Indeed, Big Bangers have a rather rigid bright line test to assist 
>us in determining which theories are acceptable. If we can't 
>imagine a climactic, Oscar-worthy scene in which a character 
>chooses a dramatically different path because of a Big Event, then 
>the theory won't fly under Big Bang." 

So Big Bang encompasses the idea that JKR prefers the highly 
dramatic and even melodramatic scene to the more sedate alternatives.
But what role does "angst" play in Big Bang?"

"Ah Captain..melodramatic you say? Maybe dread, anxiety and
worry?  Heart searching and choosing dramatically different paths, 
eh? Sounds suspiciously like symptoms of Angst to me! Besides Oscar 
worthy climatic scenes mandate a level of angst, a level of viewer 
involvement and horror – mere special effects and stage settings
will never do"

Cindy apparently ignores all of this as she mutters 
"Well,"Angst" has Edge, no doubt about it. But can angst be Bangy
in the traditional way? I'm not sure. People do a lot of biting their 
lower lips and weeping when they are suffering overwhelming angst. 
Weeping does *not* Bang. Punching out a window Bangs."

" No, Angst is not necessarily bangy of itself. It's just a
crucial component of other Bangs. And expressing angst through 
weeping is the most pathetic Hagridesque way of dealing with it. No, 
real wizards don't weep either – they get fighting mad.
Plenty of shattered windows to go around Cap'in. Just look at
Sirius with all his angst. Does he huddle in Azkaban and weep? Bite 
his lower lip in worry for Harry? No, he dramatically *escapes*, 
causes a man hunt, and provides a book worth of plot. Isn't that 
bangy?

Look at all your favourite bangs. *Someone* has to have angst 
involved, even if it's just the reader. The shrieking shrack?
Sirius and Lupin? Didn't Harry have enough emotional turmoil
there to jump in front of Peter? And harry's angst is way more
bangy than any other characters since we get it first hand.

Why does Norbert-fries-Hagrid count as bangy? Isn't it because of 
that sickening moment of realization from Harry? And if the lead up 
to that is Hagrid jumping in front of Harry to save *him*, we have 
angst from Hagrid + a double dose from Harry. Isn't it
delightful? without all this, the climatic scene would just be staged 
Dragon special effects - not so Oscar worthy. See Pippin agrees with 
me..., Don't you Pippin?"

Pippin "Ohhhh, JKR *loves* bangst. Examples:

Seeing Voldemort kill the spare right in front of you --Bang!
Thinking it was your fault because you made him take the cup 
with you--Angst! 

You find out your pal is a traitor when you discover the murdered 
bodies of your best friend and his wife -- Bang!
You realize he couldn't have done it if it weren't for your clever 
idea --Angst!"

See? Even the Throw-a-badge-at-Ron scene (oh, does that rate a Bang?) 
is impressive for its underlying angst. Without that, Harry chucks 
the Badge, Ron throws back a chocolate frog, and they start a pillow 
fight. Yawn.

George, A refill if you please..


Errol