TBAY: Bang + Angst = Bangst?

[serenadust]

No: HPFGUIDX 57181

Jo blinked several times hard and looked around slowly.

"Hey, wait a minute....where *am* I?  The last thing I remember was 
last night when I was having some morbid fun with Dead!Hagrid 
scenarios.  Then everything started to get all blurry and swirly and 
now I'm in a *bar*?"

A rather nice-looking young man wipes down the polished mahogany in 
front of Jo, flashes a winning smile and asks
"What'll it be, sailor?"

Jo gasped, "Sailor??? I'm sorry but you must have me confused with 
someone..." she trailed off as a spasm of horror swept over her face.

"No...no, it can't be," she breathed. "Please tell me this *isn't* 
the, the, *Royal George*," she gasped.

"That's right, sweetheart", George replied with a wink.  "Now, what 
can I get you?  How about a Mai Tai?'

Jo shuddered, slid off the stool and backed away slowly.

"YOU", she cried spotting Errol enjoying a frozen Margarita.  "You 
brought me here.  I was on the main list, minding my own business 
and now ... and now," she clutched Errol's collar with both 
hands, "You've *got* to get me out of here, NOW!"

"Take it easy, you're frightening Avery over there.  You are also 
putting some serious wrinkles in my fine Egyptian cotton."  Errol 
pried her trembling fingers off the collar, and took another 
sip.  "What's the big deal, anyway?"

"You don't understand -- I don't *do* TBAY. I dabble around on the 
main list, throwing out the odd comment, defending Ron, avoiding 
ships, and generally trying to stay out of trouble.  TBAY isn't for 
the likes of me.  It's full of people like Eileen, and Pippin, and 
The Elkins -- clever people, who can write *dialogue*, brave folks 
who aren't afraid to take on ..." she gulped and then 
whispered, "The Captain."

"Who? you mean Captain Cindy?  But you've talked to her on the main 
list.  What's the difference?"  Errol shrugged.

"Well, for one thing, she carries a huge paddle in here", Jo hissed.
"Anyway, by the time I came to, loads of people like Pippin, and 
Naama, and Maria, have all added loads of swell ideas to my 
little 'Bangst' theory.  I think they've all helped to establish 
that Bangst is perfectly compatable with Big Bangs and even helps to 
amplify the 'Banging', if I may be so bold."

Jo had relaxed slightly when suddenly she looked up sharply...
"What's that?  That voice...vaguely familiar... is that ...?"

Errol and George exchanged a glance and George said,  "as I just 
explained to Errol, that's just the usual TBAY sailors.  They're 
here, of course, but you can't see them while they're chatting in 
that *other* dimension.  They'll be dropping in for a refill any 
time now."

Jo becomes noticibly pale again.


"It's not that I don't appreciate your helping explain to Cindy why 
angst and Bangs work together.  When you said:

" Besides Oscar 
> worthy climatic scenes mandate a level of angst, a level of viewer 
> involvement and horror – mere special effects and stage settings
> will never do"
 
<snip>
> 
> " No, Angst is not necessarily bangy of itself. It's just a
> crucial component of other Bangs. And expressing angst through 
> weeping is the most pathetic Hagridesque way of dealing with it. 
No, 
> real wizards don't weep either – they get fighting mad.
> Plenty of shattered windows to go around Cap'in. Just look at
> Sirius with all his angst. Does he huddle in Azkaban and weep? 
Bite 
> his lower lip in worry for Harry? No, he dramatically *escapes*, 
> causes a man hunt, and provides a book worth of plot. Isn't that 
> bangy?
> 
> Look at all your favourite bangs. *Someone* has to have angst 
> involved, even if it's just the reader. The shrieking shrack?
> Sirius and Lupin? Didn't Harry have enough emotional turmoil
> there to jump in front of Peter? And harry's angst is way more
> bangy than any other characters since we get it first hand.
> 
> Why does Norbert-fries-Hagrid count as bangy? Isn't it because of 
> that sickening moment of realization from Harry? And if the lead 
up 
> to that is Hagrid jumping in front of Harry to save *him*, we have 
> angst from Hagrid + a double dose from Harry. Isn't it
> delightful? without all this, the climatic scene would just be 
staged 
> Dragon special effects - not so Oscar worthy.


"And then Pippin nailed the concept of Bangst perfectly when she 
said:
 "Ohhhh, JKR *loves* bangst. Examples:
> 
> Seeing Voldemort kill the spare right in front of you --Bang!
> Thinking it was your fault because you made him take the cup 
> with you--Angst! 
> 
> You find out your pal is a traitor when you discover the murdered 
> bodies of your best friend and his wife -- Bang!
> You realize he couldn't have done it if it weren't for your clever 
> idea --Angst!"

"There's simply nothing left for me to say by now -- You've all 
grasped the Bangst idea and amplified it for me.  Why do *I* have to 
be here with the canon hurricane only six weeks away, and that 
Captain and her paddle, and those scary FEATHERBOAS people ready to 
appear at any moment.  I was just kidding around ... I didn't mean 
to come in here, I don't *belong* here ..." Jo whimpered as she 
reached behind the bar and snagged a fifth of Jack Black.

George raised an elegant eyebrow, and began to set up a tab for Jo S.

Jo took a deep swig, shuddered as the disembodied voices rose again, 
and backed into the corner behind Avery, who cast a worried glance 
at her, and moved his chair ever so slightly away.

"There's no place like home, there's no place like home...." she 
whispered desperately, eyes shut tightly.

"Auntie Em...?"

"Elkins?......anyone...?"