Murder she wrote...

[amy_marblefeet]

No: HPFGUIDX 57206


or more specifically; soul sucked, werewolf eaten, suicide, old age, 
incompetence, assisted, muggle, torture, sacrifice and murder JKR 
wrote.

A little while back there was some discussion about too many deaths 
desensitising the reader.  So I decided, in one of my more blood 
thirsty moods, to compile a list of all the ways each character could 
die in the Pottersverse.  By bumping off each character in a 
different way I believe that each death would have a loud enough 
bang, especially the messier ones.  The problem lies in that the 
books are written from the soul perspective of Harry Potter so in the 
books he must witness all the deaths, I have tried to include this in 
all my theories.  Now to begin


I have divided the deaths to specific characters


Prof. S. Snape – Hmm, difficult, difficult.  So many paths to 
choose.  There are those who could argue that he's already dead, 
being a vampire or the fact that he may be bitten in the future.  
Being eaten by a werewolf also has a nice feel to it but 
unfortunately being by far the most over emotional character in the 
novel I am pretty sure that Prof. Snape is going to find himself 
missing a soul in the near future.  Think of the emotion in the scene 
when the man who had more baggage than your usual airport turns to 
face Harry and doesn't see Lily's eyes or James's hair or Voldemorts 
scar, just a boy.  Oh and he "dies" never forgiving or being 
forgiving.

Denis Creevy – Many readers feel that this tiny boy has been written 
in just to be killed off, and hopefully turn his brother against 
Harry and the wizarding world in general.  So I'm afraid I have this 
mousy little boy filled under becoming a midnight, moonlit snack for 
a certain werewolf.  Which leads us too


Prof. R. J. Lupin – After the death of Creevy two I'm afraid that 
Prof. Lupin who teeters so close to the edge may very well fall off.  
But how will the werewolf bump himself off?  There is always Harry 
walking into a deserted classroom to find Remus hanging on a self-
made noose but I  would prefer to see him (not literally of course) 
slit his wrists in a bath of warm water.
Oh, and Sirius can walk in and see the aftermath.

Prof. A. Dumbledore – I'm am almost certain that old age is going to 
be the killer of this  beloved character.  I feel this is going to 
happen as he strikes me as too old for riding into battle to meet 
some heroic death.  Harry will simple be sent up to his office one 
day an find him "asleep" at his desk.  Cue heart wrenching, gut 
churning scenes of grief from everyone.

Hermione Granger – Well if she does die it is going to be through the 
incompetence of forgetting she's a witch.  Even if she doesn't die 
she is probably going to be seriously wounded in the same reasoning.

Mr. and Mrs. Longbottem – Neville is going to kill them.  No, don't 
look at me like that .  These are people who have been dead to him 
for years and are never going to live again properly.  But there will 
be a time where Neville must make a choice between the lives of his 
parents and of someone else.  He will choose someone else.

Draco Malfoy – Whether he is to be redeemed or not I predict that a 
shotgun will be pointed at his head and he will completely under 
estimate how much of a threat his life is under from a bullet in his 
skull.  Hermione will be witness.

Sirius Black – Fan girls time to start lapping up all those Hurt-
Comfort scenes when the dark side captures that adorable puppy and 
tortures him.  Whether they do this for information or just for fun I 
really don't care just as long  as he's bare chest and bleeding form 
the mouth.  All this is witnessed through scar-o-vision.

Ron Weasly – Yes, there is just no escaping all this foreshadowing 
warnings that the boy is going to sacrifice himself.

Murder? – And the next victim of murder in the Potterverse?  Well I'm 
not too sure of this but what I am sure of is that the next burst of 
green light that is used to kill some one, it wont be the victim that 
bangs, but the murderer.  Harry Potter.

**

Well I can't think of any more at this precise moment but I'll make 
sure I get back to you if I do.
Oh and before I forget, there's just one more person I have to kill 
off before I go


George, bartender at the Pink Flamingo Cocktail lounge – death by 
bang (sorry George, I'm sure it wont happen to book seven though)

Amy