[HPforGrownups] Re: Sirius & Molly (WAS: Dumbledore, Leader of Men (and Women) (was: Chapter Discussions: Chapter 4)

[elfundeb]

No: HPFGUIDX 84010

Laura:

It just seems to me that Molly has an attitude in her dealings with 
Sirius, and I wonder if it might not be just a bit of jealousy. [snip] 
[Harry] shows an intensity of feeling toward Sirius that he never shows 
toward Molly.  Maybe it's natural that Molly should be hurt by this, 
but any parent who takes this sort of thing from a teenager 
personally is asking for hurt feelings.  [snip] 

Given Molly's age, parenting experience and general life 
experience, I put most of the blame for their antagonism with her. [snip]
Molly is ready to indulge in a scene at the drop  of a rubber wand, 
all the way through canon.
> 
Pippin:
> And Sirius isn't? 

Laura again:

Nope.  Sirius is calm, thoughtful and cautious througout GoF.  
Molly, on the other hand...

Debbie:

There may have been some jealousy at work, but the fact is that Sirius is a reckless person and always has been, even in GoF.  Trading his tropical hideaway for a Hogsmeade cave, stealing food and breaking into other peoples' houses to use their fireplaces, are all reckless acts, even if we see them as heroic support for Harry.  OoP simply confirms that Sirius has always lived life on the edge, and his rashness does not always serve a noble purpose.  For me, it made Sirius a more consistent character, and it makes Molly's outbursts seem less irrational.  Sirius does push Harry in directions no parent would want their child to tread.

It's not unreasonable for Molly to be concerned that Sirius might be recklessly endangering Harry and her children.  It's also entirely natural for Molly to have trouble letting go, even if it's not the best thing for her children, especially in these circumstances.  It would be even more difficult if she had already experienced a death in VWI (something I think is quite likely).  Thus, while it's clearly a fault of Molly's that she is unable to let go of her children - including Harry here for a moment - she doesn't lose my sympathy from this behavior.  

Sirius, on the other hand, while a model of good behaviour in GoF, has been known to indulge in recklessness for recklessness' sake.
No wonder they're at loggerheads in OoP.

On a point related to Molly's alleged jealousy, subsequent posters on this thread have pointed out that after a couple of hours in the Shrieking Shack, Sirius and Harry were ready to move in together.  I had trouble accepting this at first, but have come to see it, after seeing Sirius' behaviour in OoP, as two grieving souls with an instant bond through James.  Each saw in the other a way to help deal with their own grief.  This doesn't mean that they didn't care for one another in their own right, but that the usual discomfort one might have in being thrown together with someone you don't know well didn't exist, because each thought the other would fill a gaping hole in his heart.

What happened in OOP is that Harry and Sirius are coming to grips with reality, which is always more gritty than expectations.  Sirius found not only that Harry is not a clone of James but also that mentoring Harry involves a lot more than being a companion.  Harry at the same time is slowly adjusting his own perceptions of James and Sirius.  It's frustrating parenting a teen, and it's equally frustrating to be one.

Laura:

One of the fun things about these discussions is that they're a bit 
of a Rorschach (sp?), aren't they?  The ways that we see characters 
and events has as much to do with our own perspectives as with what 
JKR actually wrote.  I guess what I'm revealing about myself is that 
I'm very uncomfortable with parents who smother their kids-which 
might mean that that's my natural impulse!  

Debbie:

I've criticized Molly's parenting on a number of fronts in the past.  Molly's a lot like my own mother in that respect.   Overprotectiveness is not a good thing, but it does show the depth of her caring for her children and Harry.  So while I don't excuse it, I know where it's coming from.

Debbie
who would infinitely prefer Molly's smothering to the Dursleys' neglect

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