TBAY: Bill Weasley is Ever So Evil parts 1 & 2

[erinellii]

No: HPFGUIDX 85921

Here was Erin, back AGAIN at the Royal George, and becoming 
increasingly worried that she ought to be getting back to the 
Imperius!Arthur trimaran.  Her shore leave had only been approved for 
last night, and it was now nearly 11 a.m. the next morning.

But no sooner had she wet her whistle and begun to think about 
heading for her rowboat, than she was deluged by a small crowd, all 
wanting details on her new Evil!Bill theory.  Bowing to crowd 
pressure, Erin took out her shiny BB GUN (Bitter Bill Goes Undeniably 
Nefarious) and began to explain how it worked.

A few minutes into her explanation, she heard a small noise from 
behind her, a sort of...

"Hem, hem."

Erin whirled around and saw, with a thrill of dread, Abigail, acting 
captain on the trimaran, clothed in a tea-stained nightdress, rubber 
boots, and her trademark many-pocketed overcoat. 

"So...What's this about Bill then, Erin?" asks Abigail.

The pit of Erin's stomach performs an awful flip-flop, but she 
proceeds to try and brazen it out. 

"Oh, hello, Abigail!" she answers brightly. "Isn't it exciting? 
There've been some quite positive reactions so far. Do you want to 
hear about it?" Without waiting for a reply, she launches into a 
rather exhaustive explanation, hoping to forestall the inevitable 
questions.  Abigail listens silently as she eats.  

Just before Erin can move on to the third part of her theory, Abigail 
speaks at last. "In general, I like the idea of the modern betrayer 
being a contemporary of Harry (relatively speaking), rather then a 
contemporary of his parents. 

"However, I have to question some of your canon. I think you may be 
casting too wide a net. For example, take your analysis of Bill's 
clothes."

"That's right." Erin replies, getting comfortable in her seat. "Bill 
dresses like a disaffected teenager. What kind of behavior is this 
for a man already in his twenties, with a respectable job?"

Abigail frowns. "Bill works for a bank, but he isn't a banker. He's a 
curse-breaker. He doesn't work out of an office, meeting with 
clients, but in the dusty Egyptian desert. His job includes venturing 
into dangerous places. sealed against all who might encroach, seeking 
treasure." Abigail turns to Erin with a smirk. "Don't you see, Erin? 
Bill is Indiana Jones."

Erin, who was taking a sip of her drink, begins to cough it up, and 
Abigail spends a few minutes slapping her back.

"Indiana Jones!" Erin yells. "Indiana Jones! No way! Indiana Jones 
gives his findings to museums!  Didn't you hear my argument about how 
in the muggle world, there are laws against what Bill is doing?  That 
treasure properly belongs to the country of Egypt, not to some 
private bank.  Those Goblins are probably melting down priceless 
artifacts just to make more galleons.  Cleopatra's tomb is never 
gonna be found, thanks to Bill! And even if you point out that 
wizards aren't bound by muggle laws, what about possible descendants 
of those old Egyptian wizards?  In a society where Ollivander's 
family has owned the *same* wand shop for over 2,000 years, you can't 
tell me there's no way to trace these people.

"Indians Jones, pshaw.  More like one of his baddie archaeologist 
rivals. And when did you ever see Harrison Ford wearing black, 
anyway?  Black wouldn't work out in the dusty Egyptian desert.  It'd 
be too hot, and it would be coated with dust within seconds, making 
it look awful.  No these clothes must be special ones Bill saves for 
when he's in England.  And he wears them to dinner especially to bug 
his mother.

At Erin's words, Abigail assumes a pained expression. "Are you sure 
you want to do that, Erin?" she asks. "Walk into the Weasley Family 
Dynamics morass? Specifically, the unplottable depths of the Molly's 
Mothering Skills Swamp, now with extra quicksand!" 


"But I'm not talking about Molly here." Erin insists. "I'm talking 
about Bill intentionally dressing to upset her."

"Is he?" Abigail's eyes are wide. "Some people might see Molly as 
babying him. They might conclude that Bill might indeed be dressing 
to annoy his mother, but that this is a reaction to her own 
behavior.  And the thing is, I don't even see that dynamic at play. 
Bill's behavior at the dinner is completely calm. He reacts to his 
mother's nagging with bemusement. He is neither annoyed, nor is he 
actively trying to annoy." 

"Oh, is that how you read that scene?" says Erin. "I agree that was 
the way that Harry saw it, but you know, we can't always trust 
Harry's viewpoint on these things.  Let's look at what really 
happened.

"Molly bugs Bill about the earring.  He tells her, in no uncertain 
terms, to back off, using a swearword in the process. Harry may hear 
that calm, quiet tone as "patient", but patience and cursing just 
don't go together.  I hear it as a sinister warning. And Molly hears 
the same thing.  She backs down immediately, changes the subject 
faster than you can say "Lumos".  No last arguments. Not a single 
word of recrimination about the swearing, though she wouldn't let any 
other child get away with it.  

"But there's a problem. Even though she's changed the subject, she's 
still annoying Bill. So Ginny, recognizing the warning signs, steps 
in and speaks for him before he explodes."

"And haven't you ever wondered why Molly always takes Percy as an 
example for the twins when she could impress them much more by taking 
Bill? After all, he was Head Boy too, and he's a lot cooler than 
Percy.  There's just something wrong with Bill, and his family can 
sense it."

"I don't believe that has anything to do with Bill, actually." 
Abigail says, as she begins searching through her pockets. "Tell me, 
have you visited The Stubby Boardman Modern Art Wing at the Canon 
Museum recently?" Finally, Abigail finds what she was looking for. 
She hands Erin a slightly grubby, much folded and refolded, formerly 
glossy brochure announcing an art exhibit.

"The Next Generational Parallels." Erin reads. "I heard about this. 
What does it have to do with Bill?"

"Look at the artist's notes in the back." Abigail prods. "The bit 
about Ron right there."

>>The Weasley children seem to fall into two camps. The
Charlie camp, which seems to include Fred, George and Ginny,
is more rambunctious, less concerned with rules, more
physical and has interests that lean towards the dangerous
and irreverent. The Bill camp, which includes Percy and Ron,
tends to be more responsible. They have positions of
authority both in and out of Hogwarts, and tend to be more
concerned about propriety. (The two groups are also
apparently divided by body types - Bill and his group are
taller and thinner, whereas Charlie and his group are shorter
and stockier.)>>

"Now, given your claim that Bill is Ever So Evil, we might as well re-
title the two camps Molly and Arthur." Abigail explains. "Arthur is 
an intelligent, responsible man, but we all know that he's given to 
flights of whimsy, and is capable of being quite silly. He thinks 
very little of appearances, and tends to have a more permissive 
outlook. Molly, on the other hand, is quite concerned with propriety 
and the appearance of it, and seems more aware of financial concerns 
then her husband (but then, that may be more a function of her role 
in the home). Each of the Weasley children show characteristics of 
both their parents, but to differing degrees. Fred and George, for 
example, are super-Arthur, with very little Molly. Ron, Ginny, Bill 
and Charlie are a rather even mix, each leaning a little bit towards 
one of their parents. Of all the children, Percy is the only one who 
favors Molly completely - in fact, like the twins with their father, 
we might call him super-Molly."


"Wait a minute!" Erin interrupts.  "I agree with you about the two 
camps of children.  Yes, I see that.  But you would link the Bill 
camp with Molly and the Charlie one with Arthur?  Oh, no, that's not 
how I see it at all. In fact, if we're going by physical type, it's 
exactly the opposite. Molly is the short one, just like Charlie, the 
twins, and Ginny.  Arthur is tall, mild-mannered, and calm, like 
Bill, Percy and Ron.  Molly's group are the firebrands, just like 
Molly herself.  She might be all gung-ho about the rules now, but 
that's very often a symptom of a misspent youth, such as sneaking out 
and about at three in the morning with her boyfriends.  I think she 
fights with the twins so often not because they are two separate 
personality types, but because they are so much alike.  she likes 
Percy because she sees so much of Arthur, whom she loves, in him. 


"Alright, let's see what you think about this one." Erin's eyes 
glow. "Now, there's the scene after Voldemort's return at the end of 
GoF. I think it more then a little suspicious that Bill is so eager 
to leave. Dumbledore was saying that a 'message' would be sufficient, 
presumably sent by owl post, yet Bill seemed to feel Arthur *had* to 
be informed... in... person?" Buoyed by her conviction in her theory, 
Erin had momentarily forgotten whom she was speaking to. Now she 
falls silent as Abigail flushes and her eyes begin to glow.

"J'accuse!" She cries, knocking her teacup over in her excitement and 
spilling it all over herself and Erin. "J'accuse, ma petite fille! 
You Rocked the Boat! Not once, but twice now! You're stealing 
Imperius!Arthur canon in order to build your new ESE!Bill!"

Erin cowers. "I didn't think anyone would notice! It's only a little 
canon, who's it hurting anyway?" she squeaks out, awash in spilled 
tea. "Plus, there just has to be more to it then Elkins' claim that 
Bill wants to spare his father the pain of finding out about 
Voldemort's returns through a letter. Look, only a few minutes later 
he cuts Dumbledore off mid-speech."

"I've often wished I could do that myself." Abigail remarks.

Erin frowns. Is it possible that Abigail is Ever So Evil? "Be that as 
it may."

"Alright, so the two theories can coexist." Abigail concedes. "In 
fact, I think ESE!Bill is strengthened by making it dependent on 
Imperius!Arthur. Bill's father, a man he's supposed to admire, was 
felled by Voldemort, made to act against his own will. Maybe Bill 
figures a good way to prevent that sort of thing from happening to 
him is to ensure that he wants to do the things that his father was 
coerced into doing."

"Plus," Erin continues excitedly. "This might be the solution to the 
mystery of Percy's behavior all through OOP. Just picture it: Bill 
runs straight to Percy and says 'Harry's gone mad and killed Cedric 
Diggory. And Dumbledore and Mum have fallen for every word of his 
crazy story. They actually believe Lord Voldemort has returned, and 
Dad and Mum are going to join this nutty Order thing of Dumbledore's'"

"And then Bill goes and joins the nutty Order thing himself, and 
Percy doesn't find that odd?" Abigail raises an eyebrow. "Sorry, but 
Percy isn't that stupid. Even if he doesn't know about the Order's 
existence, he knows that Bill has suddenly relocated to England, and 
he can put two and two together."

"That's where Bill tells Percy that he's moved back because he wants 
to keep trying to persuade his parents to see the truth."


Abigail snorts. "But with or without Imperius!Arthur, you're going to 
have to explain to me why Bill felt it necessary to poison Percy's 
mind against Dumbledore in the first place. What great victory has he 
achieved for Voldemort's side?"

 Erin says "Oh, I don't know.... Just one more act of chaos in his 
evil little life? Probably to help discredit Arthur.  So that the 
people at the ministry he's trying to persuade will look and 
say, "Wow, even his own *son* is against him. Maybe he's crazy after 
all."  

Abigail is examining Erin's BB GUN. She seems satisfied with the heft.

"Hey, Erin?" she calls out finally. "Where did you say you got this 
idea anyway?"

"Why, it was Errol and yourself who first put the idea in my head." 
Erin replies. "Remember last spring when you were both arguing over 
who would be the OOP death?"

"Don't remind me." Abigail smiles. "We were both so far off base. I 
thought that Lupin was a goner, and Errol suggested Bill instead."

"That's right." Erin nods. "He wondered why Bill was given so much 
screen time in GoF, and concluded that it had to be because he was 
going to die in OOP."

Abigail grins. "I knew there was reason I liked this theory. Do you 
remember what my chief objection to Errol's suggestion was?" Before 
Erin can answer, Abigail procures a dusty scroll and  reads.

>>Killing off a Weasley brother moves the focus from Harry to Ron.<< 

"Errol disagreed with me at the time, but I think OOP bore me out." 
Abigail rolls up the dusty scroll. "Short of actually being in the 
room, Harry couldn't possibly have been more involved in the attack 
on Arthur. And yet he describes himself and Sirius as 'intruding on 
the family grief' when waiting for news of Arthur's condition. A wall 
comes up between the actual family members and the adopted son, and I 
believe this would be the case if Bill were to die. However, a 
betrayal to Voldemort would almost have to be a betrayal of Harry, 
directly or indirectly. Harry would be intimately affected, deeply 
hurt, and possibly imperiled by any betrayal of a Weasley family 
member. He wouldn't be at an emotional remove because at some level, 
it would all be about him.


"Yeah," says Abigail happily, "I'm starting to like this idea. For 
one thing, if there has to be a spy or a betrayer - and I'm in no 
means convinced that there is - then the selection of adult figures 
who might fit the job is rather disappointing."

Just as Abigail is about to elaborate, another voice pipes up. "She's 
right, you know.  There's not a spy in the Order.  None. Zip. Zilch. 
Nada."

"Captain Jenny," Abigail nods amicably to the newcomer.

"Captain Abigail," Jenny returns the nod happily.

"Captain Jenny? Of SILK GOWNS (Suspiciously Insane Longbottoms, the 
Key is the Gum Or Wrappers that Neville Saves)  fame?" asks Erin 
eagerly.  "It's an honor to meet you, Captain." 

"And you must be Erin," Jenny said with a smile and a tinge of regret 
in her eyes for what she was about to say next.

"Interesting theory, BB GUN, but no gun can fire without every piece 
working properly. Your canon is interesting, and the sneakoscope 
almost had me convinced, until I realized what didn't fit with ESE!
Bill."

As Erin eyed her warily, Jenny took a deep breath and plunged in
with, "if Bill is evil, why didn't he tell Voldemort that only
Voldemort or Harry could retrieve the prophecy?

"Dumbledore told Harry that *we*, not *he*, had known all along what 
Voldemort didn't learn of until Rookwood informed him(1), meaning 
that the Order, not just Dumbledore, knew this." Jenny watched Erin 
curiously, waiting to see what she thought of this.

But just as Erin opens her mouth to reply, Abigail jumps in, 
explaining that the "we" Dumbledore had spoken of didn't have to 
include ALL the order members. Erin is delighted.  Abigail was 
defending the theory!  She must really be taking a liking to it.  
Maybe it was time to offer her a BB GUN? But before Erin could even 
reach under her long trenchcoat...

George came over, bearing a silver tray on which rested two elegant 
black-bordered engraved invitations:

          ~~ Breakfast at The Safe House~~

Erin picked hers up and examined it closely. "Er--" said George,
"I wouldn't do that if -- oops!"

In a few moments the two women had left a congealing plate of
runny eggs and two little heaps of ash behind them and were standing 
before a garden path which led to the Safe House.  It was clear what 
was expected of them.

"Shall we?" asked Erin.  Jenny nodded, and the two of them began to 
walk up the path.

Back at the Royal George, a tall male figure with a long black cloak 
and long red hair uttered a gratuitous "Damn!"


---Erin

TBAY posts referenced in this post:

BB GUN parts 1 and 2:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/message/85610

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/message/85729

Imperius!Arthur:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/message/40168

Imperius!Arthur post-OOP:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/message/77654

SILK GOWNS:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HPforGrownups/message/77145