To Jeff (Was: Lily and James, a hpappy couple?)

[jeffl1965]

No: HPFGUIDX 82645

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "ghinghapuss" <rredordead at a...> 
wrote:
> Jeff said:
> Ah, but did he do it on his own, of because Lily made him? If they 
> were falling in love at this point, James could've done it out of 
> love for her, not for anything else. If you think about it, he went 
> against his best friend to save a common enemy. Only a whipped male 
> would dare go against his best friend. :) I've seen this in too 
many 
> married freinds, and it's just part of love, I guess.
> 
> No me:
> First I would like to say this post is not about HP but a direct 
> response to the content of the above comment.
> 
> I'm very disturbed by your use of the term "Only a whipped male 
would 
> dare go against his best friend"  I would like to know what exactly 
> you mean by that!
> 
 
   Jeff:
   If you took the time to read, you'd see that my comment was me 
being cheeky. :) But it does happen where a man thinks with something 
other than his brain, and does things he'd never do otherwise in 
order to gain the "prize" the other brain wants. This could be what 
James was doing. Its normal behavoir and has happened for all of time 
as much as we can tell.



> In any friendship, be it between the same sex like James and Sirius 
> or opposing sexes like James and Lily, that union is defined by 
both 
> parties making sacrifices for each other, respecting each others 
> opinion (if not agreeing with them), doing what the other asks, 
> taking advice, disagreeing, debating, loving etc, etc, etc
you get 
> the point.  
> 
  Jeff:
    Agreed, but why would James suddenly want to save his mortal 
enemy? And at the risk of his life, for that matter? I don't think 
Sirius asked him to do such a thing, but he would, and because of a 
love he had for him. However, the dynamics of a non-sexual vs a 
sexual relationship are different. Sometimes you'd do more for your 
kids than you might for your spouse and certainly more than you'd do 
for you're best friend. You can divorce your spouse, but not your 
kids or best friend.
   


> Why, if James does something Sirius asks of him (as I'm sure he did 
> many times) is that any different from doing something Lily asks of 
> him?  He obviously loved them both as best friends and in Lily's 
case 
> also a lover.  Why should a man doing what a woman asks of him 
> somehow defined, in you opinion, as `whipped'! 
> 

  Jeff:
    Again, his realtionship with Lily was different, unless he was 
sexually involved with Sirius as well, then we have another set of 
dynamics to discuss, since he chose one lover over another. Also, 
again, for some reason american society and British society see a man 
who cows down to a woman as being weaker for some reason. I don't 
agree, but my statement was meant as cheek, not offense. Perhaps you 
need to explain why you seem so bent out of shape over a short 
comment? This concerns me.

> I enjoy this discussion site immensely because all those who 
> contribute are intelligent and respectful in voicing their 
opinions.  
> I ask that you please do the same.
> 
   Jeff:
   I have. I haven't even raised my voice in anger like it appears 
that you have, nor do I hold any malice toward you, just concern.


> I will entertain a single response if necessary but then we let us 
> drop the subject, as it is not HP related.
> 
> Mandy.

  Jeff:
   So you're taking it upon yourself to act as a moderator 
and "allowing" me to make one comment and that's it? How rude. I 
won't say any more.


  Jeff