Nonsensical Note: Re: No Sex, Please, We're British

[quigonginger]

No: HPFGUIDX 83860

> bboy_mn (who knows this is utter nonsense but cracks on anyway):
> 
> So, if a witch has an intimate fluid encounter with a wizard, and
> shortly afterwards inchants the spell 'accio semen', what are the 
odds
> that, with a slightly erroneous vocal inflection, a bunch of sailors
> will come busting through the door?
> 
> I warned you it was utter nonsense, but you went and read it anyway.
> 
> I do have a small point here, and that is contraceptive charms and
> potions seem well within reason and well within likelihood to me.
> Given the range of spells we have heard of, like spell to make you
> nose hairs grow into ringlets (GoF), spells to make leeks sprout out
> of your ears, spell in which you are attacked by flying bat snot,
> etc...; contraceptive spells seem positively bland by comparison.
> 
> Just a randy thought or two.
> 
> bboy_mn

Ginger (who just has to jump in on this thread):

Bad Steve, bad joke. Go to your room.   Ok, I laughed.

Anyway, I agree totally that with all the other spells (and potions) 
we have heard about, this would have been a priority during the Spell 
Invention Era.  

As they have locomotor mortis and petrificus totalus, I don't see why 
they wouldn't have a Chastity Charm (yeah, more like a curse, but I 
went for alliteration) for girls.  I just can't see Molly letting 
Ginny leave home without one.  

I'm sure there's a (painless) temporary version of a vasectomy, 
possibly even a permanent one.  Or an egg freezing charm.  Not 
literally freezing, but preventing their travel down their intended 
path until the witch is ready to use them.  Just don't ask me to 
supply the incantations.  Patrificus ova?  Nah.

With knowledge of the human body, anything is possible.  Are we 
getting into the waters of the Isles of Raised Eyebrows yet?  Sorry 
if this was too explicit for anyone's tastes.

Then again, there's always the ghosts.  Total lack of privacy is a 
highly effective form of birth control.

Ginger, who doesn't read fanfic (I'm too easily confused), but bets 
this has been covered with great imagination.