SHIP cliches (Was: Re: H/H SHIP)

[mochajava13]

No: HPFGUIDX 79960

>>>>> CW comments:
> 
> The problem I have with all the SHIPPING is that in my experience, 
teenage crushes and romances rarely lead to long-term relationships, 
and if they do, they end in tears, because the partners grow up and  
grow apart. I am in my mid 40s, and can't think of anyone I knew at  
school who either married their school sweetheart, or if they had a  
serious relationship then, is still in it. 

Similarly, even those who met their partners at college, or in their 
early 20s, had trouble sticking together. Maybe its our real world,  
but the strong couples I know are often on their second or third  
relationship, having trudged through a lot of grief and revised 
expectations on the way. >>>>>

Sarah: 
Considering that over 50% of marriages of any kind end in divorce, 
with second and third marriages having an even higher divorce rate, 
I think saying that people who met in their teens/early twenties 
have more problems than others do at sticking together is unfair.  
My mother's cousin is almost 50, still with her high-school 
sweetheart, and they started dating at 15.  My mother and aunt, both 
in their 50s, divorced from people they met in college after 15+ 
years of marriage.  My uncle is still with his wife, and they met 
when he was in his early twenties.  My sister, still going strong 
with her now-husband, and they started dating when she was 18.  One 
of my friends married her high school sweetheart, and they've been 
together for over 6 years.  I know plenty of people who broke up 
with highschool sweethearts and college sweethearts (including those 
who had children in their late teens), but saying that people who 
met in their teens/early twenties have more trouble than others at 
staying together is not true in my experience.  In my experience, 
the strongest relationships I know of (including extended family and 
friends) are ones when they met in their teens/early twenties with a 
realistic expectation of what a relationship is all about.


>>>>> CW comments:
> With JKR's personal history, I would be really surprised if she 
disposes of all the kids in neat pairs. Some of them might embark on 
a more serious romance, and we can endlessly speculate on the 
outcome of that post-book 7, but will she give us permanent, 
marriage-type relationships by the end of the series ? No, I hope 
not. Its totally the wrong message for 21st century kids; they need 
to grow individually and find out who they are before taking on the 
compromises and difficulties of a permanent partnership.>>>>

Sarah: 
Speaking from experience here (I'm in my mid-twenties, so I might 
still count as a 21st century kid according to some), teens nowadays 
have had to shoulder a lot of adult responsibilities.  Quite a few 
of us were left to raise ourselves since our parents worked long 
hours.  Not to mention the fact that very young teens are already in 
sexual relationships. (I knew people who were experimenting with sex 
and drugs when I was 13, and that was in the early 1990s.  If 
anything, it's much, much more prevalent now.)  Not showing a 
serious relationship would be a mistake, because teens (and those of 
us in our 20s) would find it unrealistic, as we all know someone 
who's been in a very long relationship.  Also, not portraying a 
serious relationship when the trio is supposed to be 16-18 would be 
slightly condesending, in my opinion.  For one, teens that age 
aren't exactly children any longer.  They're not adults in the UK or 
the US, but 16 year olds are considered adults in other parts of the 
world.  Plus, what 16 year old doesn't think they're an adult, 
capable of a serious relationship?  A lot of us (more than half) are 
kids from "broken homes" who have no good example of how to have a 
successful relationship.  Our parents certainly aren't good 
examples.  Showing them a successful relationship would be very, 
very helpful.  I'd like it is JKR showed a serious relationship 
amoung the trio by the last book.  Hey, I met my fiance at 19, my 
sister met her husband at 18, my best friend met hers at about 16.  
In my circle of friends, there's the successful couples who met 
between the ages of 15-21, and those that are still looking whos 
longest relationship has been maybe one year.

Sarah


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