FILK: Just Call Me Albus Brian Dumbledore

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 95609

It is possible that I will eventually turn this into a full-length 
PS/SS musical, titled HMS Dumbledore (HMS = Hogwarts Magical 
Supervisor)

Just Call Me Albus Brian Dumbledore (PS/SS, Chap. 7)

To the tune of I Am the Captain of the Pinafore, from Gilbert and 
Sullivan's HMS Pinafore


http://math.boisestate.edu/gas/pinafore/web_opera/pn04.html

Dedicated to Constance Vigilance

THE SCENE: The Great Hall – Dumbledore greets the new students

DUMBLEDORE.				
Just call me Albus Brian Dumbledore 

ALL.				
We are here to hear you speak

DUMBLEDORE.				
I'm very, very mad
I say to all my grads
Nitwit, oddment, blubber, tweak

ALL.					
He's very, very mad
He says to all his grads
Nitwit, oddment, blubber, tweak

DUMBLEDORE.			
I am never avant-garde,
My face is on the card
I lead our faculty 
They ascend the hierarchy 
Of superb pedagogy 
And they're all as true as true can be!

ALL.	 					
What, Sevvy?

DUMBLEDORE.						
Yes, Sevvy!

ALL.	 	 				
Not Sevvy?

DUMBLEDORE.						
Even Sevvy!

ALL.			
Ol' Sevvy's true as he can be!
Then give three cheers for Dumbledore  
He's the Hogwarts' Magical Supervisor 

DUMBLEDORE.			
I do my best to educate you all—

ALL.	  			
So we'll pass our OWLS and NEWTS

DUMBLEDORE.	  			
But I'm basically Luddite
And I say to you outright
On the Web you can't compute

ALL.	  			
But he's basically Luddite
And he says to us outright
On the Web we can't compute

DUMBLEDORE.	 			
Promotion of Dark Arts
I'll never, never start
Not even if in shades of gray
I'm noble, they all cry,
`Cause I'd never stoop to try
A wicked spell like an AK—

ALL.	  			  		
Did Sevvy?

DUMBLEDORE.					  	
Not Sevvy!

ALL.		  				
What, never?

DUMBLEDORE.						
Rarely ever!

ALL.	  		
Sevvy rarely casts a dark AK—
Then give three cheers, and not one less
To Albus Dumbledore, our H.M.S.!
Then give three cheers, and not one less
To Dumbledore, our H.M.S.!


   -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm 
(updated today with 66 new filks)