Am I the only one

[delwynmarch]

No: HPFGUIDX 96015


Cindy Jenkins wrote:
> LOL--I always chuckle when people without kids presume to know 
> what they'll do with them.  Mark my words--when your baby goes off 
> to school for the first time, you'll cry just like the rest of us 
> did.  Letting go is hard to do...;)

Kneazelkid replied : 
> I'm pretty sure you didn't mean for the last part to be 
> condesending, but I want to address it. Just becuase I don't have 
> children doesn't mean that my points aren't valid. I have plenty 
> of experience raising other people's children. Let's not have any 
> sort of insults on this board and stick to canon to make our 
> points. :)

Del :
Don't get all worked up :-) I think Cindy was just trying to say 
that there is indeed something so very special about our own kids, 
and no matter how much experience you have, or how much you've 
thought about it, you will still be completely amazed at the 
*intensity* of the feelings you'll have for your own kids. Before I 
had my son, my worst nightmares (the bad dreams at night, not the 
fears) had to do with the usual being naked in public, or being 
chased by a tiger, or stuff like that. Now, it has to do with my 
baby being in danger... As a mother, I can't help but cry when I 
read Molly's Boggart scene, because I understand her so well, and I 
share her sheer *panic* that something horrible might happen to one 
of her family members. JKR wrote that scene for a reason : we have 
to remember it when judging Molly.

Kneazelkid : 
> Molly has a track record of favoratism (Percy)and using 
> humeliation to control her children (howler sent into the Great 
> Hall)

Del :
I couldn't agree with you more. I am absolutely horrified by some of 
her methods. But I know first-hand that some people use them with 
very good intentions. I don't talk to my own god-mother anymore 
because that's the method she's used on me ever since I was a kid. 
Yet I do know that she meant well !

Kneazelkid :
> and others (snap at Sirius about being in Azkaban which was 
> both uncalled for and creul, considering he was serving time for a 
> crime she knows he didn't commit).

Del :
Just a note here : Molly doesn't technically *know* that Sirius is 
innocent, she only *believes* so, she only believes the Trio and DD 
when they say so. That might not sound like a big difference, but 
it's precisely the kind of difference that resurfaces under stress.

Kneazelkid : 
> I'm not saying she doesn't love her children, nor am I insulting 
> mothers in general. I'm saying that Molly is ever more 
> increasingly reacting on her need to control, rather than 
> considering what is actually best for her children and Harry.

Del :
You're opposing 2 things that belong together in Molly's eyes : 
controlling and what is best. Molly does want what is best for her 
kids and Harry, and she does her best to make sure (control) that 
these things happen (or don't, accordingly) ! She does need to 
control : to control that only the best happen to those she loves.

Kneazelkid ;
> What is best for him is to have the attention of the man that his 
> parents chose to be his legal guardian

Del :
I'm sure my mom thought my god-mother was a good choice for a 
potential legal guardian. And yet she couldn't have made a worse 
choice. Best friends or sisters (in my case) don't necessary make 
good godparents.

Kneazelkid :
> a person who also seems to not a have much of a family and who 
> could have given Harry all the attention he needs

Del :
But Harry does NOT need (or at least require or even desire) 
attention, and Sirius doesn't give him that much attention anyway. 
In fact, *Molly* is the one who's always giving (unwanted) attention 
to Harry, not Sirius.

Kneazelkid :
> as well as treating him like the adult he's going to need to be to 
> lead a war.

Del :
Here goes my good ol' answer : we don't know that, and Molly in 
particular has no reason to believe that. It's DD who's in charge, 
and nobody else knows about the Prophecy. So why would Molly or 
anyone else think that Harry is destined to become a leader in the 
war to come ?

Kneazelkid :
> But what Molly wants in to be in charge and to have Harry as 
> her's --

Del :
Just like we wish an abused kid were ours, and we are enraged that 
he's left with his abusive parents. Yes she wants to be in charge, 
but not for herself : for Harry's own good ! If Harry had told her 
to leave him alone, she probably would have let Sirius have his way.

Kneazelkid :
>  which is sweet on the surface until you realize that one of her 
> children isn't speaking to her;

Del :
Technically speaking, Percy isn't talking to *Arthur*, not Molly. 
Molly is just a second-hand victim.

Kneazelkid :
> the others who are old enough have moved far, far away; her 
> youngest son has major issues with being ignored

Del :
I agree with you on those points, though I must point, to be fair, 
that we do not know *why* Bill and Charlie have gone so far away, 
and Ron's issues also have to do with his average personality and 
those, much stronger, of his immediate older brothers.

Kneazelkid :
> and doesn't ever have the basic items he needs to get a decent 
> education(using someone else's old wand is unacceptable). 

Del :
Said who ? As far as we know, it might be common practice. And he 
does have all the books and clothes and ingredients he needs, and 
even pocket money to buy sweets ! He doesn't sound any worst off 
than I was at his age, and I don't consider I was in a horrible fix.

Del