FILK: Once Upon Godric’s Dome Sitting

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 97340

The latest from my musical-in-progress, H.M.S. Dumbledore 

Once Upon Godric's Dome Sitting (PS/SS, Chap. 7) 

To the tune of Carefully on Tiptoe Stealing (the scene which also 
includes He Is an Englishman), from Gilbert & Sullivan's H.M.S. 
Pinafore 

Text and MIDI at: 

http://diamond.boisestate.edu/gas/pinafore/web_opera/pn18.html

Dedicated to Constance Vigilance

THE SCENE: The Great Hall. The First Years are about to be sorted by 
the Sorting Hat. 

SORTING HAT
Once upon Godric's dome sitting,
For the last ten centuries 
I'm at start-of-term transmitting
News to all our new entries 

CHORUS OF FIRST YEARS (much alarmed).	
Goodness me—
Why, what is that?
SORTING HAT			
Look at me,
I am the Hat!
CHORUS OF FIRST YEARS (reassured).	
You are —you are a Hat!
SORTING HAT	
Yeah, right, I am the Hat!

SORTING HAT & CHORUS OF FACULTY
Our four dorms are getting ready
To receive your freshman class
As I'm/he's placed upon your head, we
Will assign each lad and lass!

CHORUS OF FIRST YEARS	
Goodness me,
Why, what is that?
SORTING HAT		
It was me,
Again the Hat!
CHORUS OF FIRST YEARS	
It was again that Hat!
SORTING HAT		
You're right, I am that Hat!

CHORUS OF FIRST YEARS	
Their four dorms are getting ready
To receive our freshman class
As he's placed upon our head, he
Will assign each lad and lass!

SORTING HAT
First!
Harry Potter, you're here!
Let us options start weighing
Whence you'll be conveying
For the next seven years.
You've an excellent mind,
Along with drive ambitiously
So go then expeditiously 
To join Slyther-ine 

CHORUS OF FIRST YEARS			
Here's what the Hat finds
Because of drive ambitiously
He'll go then expeditiously 
To join Slyther-ine

HARRY
Old Godric's Hat, of antique provenance 
Oh, Hat, give me no Slytherin-ish career
Your very words jangle with dissonance
Into the deepest ear drums of my ear 

CHORUS OF FIRST YEARS
Oh, Harry!

SORTING HAT and HARRY
He/I humble, poor, and Muggle-raised
No inkling he/I was born magician
But ne'ertheless he is/I am not phased
To ask for a schoolroom reposition
This exercise of his/my free will
Rejects the dorm in which I'd/you'd toss him/me
He/I am not one who could be still
I am/He is a Gryffindor — don't cross him/me!

ALL	
He is a Gryffindor!

SORTING HAT
He is a Gryffindor!
For I myself did sort him,
To the place that most comports him,
So he is a Gryffindor!

ALL		
Yes, he is a Gryffindor!

SORTING HAT
Slytherin, he will not pick it
And he will not go with Flitwick
Nor a Hufflepuffle-or

ALL			
Nor a Hufflepuffle-or
 
SORTING HAT		
But through my evaluation
I have made this assignation:
He becomes a Gryffindor!
He becomes a Gryffindor!

ALL			
Through the Hat's evaluation
He has made this assignation:
He becomes a Gryffindor!
He becomes a Gryffindor!

SORTING HAT	
In sorting through the applications
Of all our new recruits
It gives me little hesitation
In placing Brown or Boot 
I do not have the slightest problem
Where Nott or Perks should go
But as far as that kid named Longbottom
Why, Nevvy, I don't know!

ALL (shocked).		
Oh!
SORTING HAT	
Why, Nevvy, I don't know!
ALL.					
Oh!
SORTING HAT	
Why, Nevvy, I don't know!

DRACO
Did you hear him?  Did you hear him?
Oh, of talent he is lacking
Let us jeer him – let us jeer him—
Send him packing! Send him packing!

NEVILLE 
I cannot tell a fib
It seems that I am virtually a squib
I withdraw then in disgrace
How can I dare my grandmother to now face?

HERMIONE
Oh, Hat — one thing — oh, let us please consider
Neville has some tremendous courage showed
Students they grant the right to bring a critter
And Neville defies fashion with his toad

SORTING HAT
What you say is making sense
Neville may well be placeable
Your resolute defense
Strikes me as quite embraceable.
Go, Neville, off the fence,
Flourish like the Hyperborean
Now and forever hence
You are a Gryffindorean

ALL.				
Now and forever hence
He is a Gryffindorean

DRACO
And it's time to now disclose
If they're for it, we oppose
For I have a great antipathy for Neville's flab
CRABBE & GOYLE: And so do his henchmen known as Goyle and as Crabbe
ALL: And so do his henchmen known as Goyle and as Crabbe
And so do his henchmen known as Goyle and as Crabbe
His henchmen known as Goyle,
Like a serpent see him coil, and as Crabbe!

DRACO, CRABBE, GOYLE & SLYTHERIN CHORUS
For we are not Gryffindors!
For they themselves will rue it
When Slyth'rin put them to it!

ALL
For we/they are not Gryffindors!
For we/they are not Gryffindors!

   -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm