A child is, by definition, WRONG

[delwynmarch]

No: HPFGUIDX 120115


imamommy wrote:
"All of these examples were *before* Harry's Hogwarts letter came.  It
sounds like they were rather common, especially if we include this  quote:
"Sometimes, when he strained his memory during long hours in his 
cupboard, he came up with a strange vision..."
(SS, p29, Scholastic)
Sounds to me like he spent a lot of time in that cupboard.  One could
 argue that these were "extreme situations," but I think punishing 
somebody for something they can't control is pathetic, like a parent 
shaming a child for not going potty in the right place.  Generally, I
think the Dursleys are (at the least)very ignorant parents."

Del replies:
All the examples you gave were instances of Harry doing MAGIC, the one
thing the Dursleys cannot stand, the thing they had vowed to eliminate
from his system. It seems logical to me that they would over-react in
those cases, which were the most extreme situations Harry could ever
get himself into.

I'm not arguing that the Dursleys were good foster parents for Harry,
because they weren't. I totally agree with you that they are at least
very ignorant parents : this is obvious in the appalling way they
raised not only Harry, but also Dudley. They had different goals in
mind concerning the two boys, but they went completely wrong and
over-board with both of them.

Imamommy wrote :
"I disagree that a child is wrong by definition.  A child is entitled
to make age-appropriate choices.  They may not be the same choices an
 adult would make, but that doesn't make them wrong."

Del replies:
An honest decision can still be a wrong decision. Stealing is wrong,
and yet many toddlers think it's right. Looking down on people
different from you is wrong and yet many children think it's right.
Considering anyone who doesn't think like you an idiot is wrong and
yet many teenagers think it's right. They are all honest, and yet they
are wrong.

Imamommy wrote :
"I never remember, even when I was, thinking, "I am a small child.  
I'd better do what Mommy tells me to, because she's so much older and
 wiser.""

Del replies:
I didn't put it into such words, but as a child I did have a very
distinct feeling that some adults around me knew better very often.
When I started to realise that they didn't always actually know
better, it was quite a shock.

Imamommy wrote:
"I only remember feeling like I was grown-up, within my own world. 
Even more so when I was a teenager."

Del replies:
I too had my time as a young teenager when I thought I knew better
than everyone else. But I soon realised how wrong I was.

Imamommy wrote:
" The trick is to place choices before a child, tell him what you
would choose and what consequences there may be, and then let him make
his decision and live with the consequences.  This is scary as a
parent, especially with teenagers, but forcing them to do something
only ensures that they will run the other way."

Del replies :
I agree, but NOBODY is doing that kind of parenting on Harry. That's
no wonder his relationships with the adults are so messed up.

Del