Dark SHIPS [HPforGrownups] ( was Re: Possession)

[sawsan_issa]

No: HPFGUIDX 90868

> Iggy wrote:  
> 
> Until he fights Evander Hollyfeld and tries to bite off Evander's other
> ear (after all, Dudley thought a "cauliflower ear" meant it was edible),
> thus spawning a series of lawsuits and stays in prison, causing him to
> eventually declare bankruptcy.
> 
> 
> And now, a few add-ins from me...
> 
> Peter Pettigrew will be the only Death Eater to survive and redeem
> himself.  He will become a success in Hollywood as a professional
> "rodent wrangler" for movies like "Willard" and anything that takes
> place in NY sewers and deserted caves in the Andes.
> 
> Vernon will realize that wizards aren't so bad, and that working in the
> drill industry is too boring.  He and Petunia (who has discovered magic
> of her own in her later years, revealing her as the "self imposed
> Squib.") will fulfill Vernon's secret life-long dream and open a Big and
> Tall clothing shop.  Because of the fame of Petunia's newfound magic,
> they will be the first mixed couple to be invited to own a shop on
> Diagon Alley.
> 
> Hagrid and Madame. Maxime will marry (after she transfers to Hogwarts as
> their new Headmistress), and have a horde of Half-Giant children.
> Fortunately, this will give the Dursley's new shop just the boost they
> need to get off the ground.  In later years, their children will form
> the world's only Half-Giant Quidditch team, the Hogsmeade Hulks.
> 
> Dumbledore and McGonagall will marry and both retire to live next door
> to Honeyduke's so Albus can be near his beloved candy.  Unfortunately,
> Dumbledore will become diabetic and have to give up sweets.  Their
> marriage will eventually end badly when Minerva accuses Albus of
> following in his brother's footsteps to ease the pain he feels at not
> being able to eat candy anymore, and Dumbledore accuses her back of only
> marrying him as a pale substitute for her true secret love... Tom
> Riddle.
> 
> Hermione will discover Sapphic love with, of all people, Sybille
> Trelawny.  This fling will last only two years, since the relationship
> ends when their most common arguments revolve around not being able to
> stand living with another "know it all."  Trelawny will confine herself
> to her tower and never come out again.  Hermione will spend the rest of
> her life hanging out at gay bars and in a series of one unsuccessful
> relationship after another until, in her old age, she finally settles
> down with one of the many daughters of the Weasley twins.
> 
> As a note to the Weasley Twin's lives, they and their identical twin
> wives will realize that it is useless to try and tell each other apart,
> and will enter into an "alternative" lifestyle of polyamory, thus
> completely destroying any chance of establishing a Weasley Family Tree
> from there on out.
> 
> 
> Iggy McSnurd
> (Who wonders if this thread should move to OTC or not from here out...)



Sawsan here:

Wow! This is an interesting view of things. I've taken the old timey
route I suppose and got married just shy of 18. I'm twenty-four now
and I have been married for a while. You gave me a lot of hope for the
rest of my life eh??? ( I suppose I am in Harry's age group
considering I was born in 1980).

Okay, so they will pretty much all grow up to be miserable old farts
and nags. At least they had some fun sometime somewhere?!!!

I just hope that if Lord Thingy doesn't die that he will be picking up
soap somewhere in a more advanced wizarding prison.

Sawsan,
who is now going to several a pina coladas and nag about her new
founded reality. :P