(FILK) The Class (Sensational! Sensational!)

[klyanthea]

No: HPFGUIDX 91751

Putting all humility aside, I have to say that I am quite pleased 
with the way this filk turned out.


The Class (Sensational! Sensational!)


A filk by Gail B. to the tune _The Pitch (Spectacular! Spectacular!_ 
from the movie Moulin Rouge


The basis of this tune comes from The Can Can from Orphée Aux Enfers 
by Jacques Offenbach with tiny snippets from (1) The Sound of Music 
by Rodgers & Hammerstein and (2) Your Song by Elton John.


In this filk, the word "Sensational" is defined as: "arousing or 
tending to arouse (as by lurid details) a quick, intense and usually 
superficial interest, curiosity, or emotional reaction." - Webster's 
Dictionary


(Professor Binns is reading from his notes in a flat drone which has 
put everyone inside the classroom into a deep stupor. Hermione then 
raises her hand...)

Prof. Binns: Yes, Miss...er...?

Hermione: Granger, Professor. I was wondering if you could tell us 
anything about the Chamber of Secrets?

(Students start perking up with interest)

Prof. Binns: (in a bombastic voice)

Sensational! Sensational!
It isn't educational
This legend of which you speak
The evidence is very weak
So, there's good reason to critique
Although, there's a certain mystique

(singing)
It's not fact, naturally
I deal with only history

Hermione: (speaking) Please, sir, don't legends always have a basis 
in fact?

(The rest of the students gaze intently first at Hermione, then at 
Prof. Binns in expectation. Then, quickly (chhh, chhh, chhh) they 
stand up from out of their seats and start singing in chorus...)

Chorus:

We're all intrigued, hanging upon every word
We're not fatigued, it's the best thing that we've heard
We're all intrigued, hanging upon every word
We're not fatigued, it's the best thing that we've heard

Dean: Hogwarts School

Lavender: The Four Founders

Neville: Disunity

Ron: Hidden chambers

Parvati: Growing rifts

Harry: And arguments

Seamus: Hate of those from

All: Muggle parents

Hufflepuff and Gryffindor
Slytherin

Hermione: And Ravenclaw

Dean: Chamber sealed

Lavender: Horror within

Chorus: And the true heir of Slytherin!

We're all intrigued, hanging upon every word
We're not fatigued, it's the best thing that we've heard
We're all intrigued, hanging upon every word
We're not fatigued, it's the best thing that we've heard

Prof. Binns:

Sensational, sensational!
It isn't educational
This legend of which you speak
The evidence is very weak

Chorus:

(1) The halls vandalized with threats against Mud-bloods

We're all intrigued, hanging upon every word
We're not fatigued, it's the best thing that we've heard
We're all intrigued, hanging upon every word
We're not fatigued, it's the best thing that we've heard

Prof. Binns: (reluctantly giving in to the persistence of the class)

Salazar and Gryffindor
Bitterly fought, but local folklore
Says Slyth'rin a Chamber made
And there his foul monster stayed

Harry:
(2) It's a little bit scary, this voice that I heard

Chorus:
We're all intrigued, hanging upon every word
We're not fatigued, it's the best thing that we've heard
We're all intrigued, hanging upon every word
We're not fatigued, it's the best thing that we've heard

Prof. Binns:

The Chamber will remain sealed
Until the true Heir is revealed
He'll free the beast, and with it
Purge the school of those "unfit"

(Fred and George immediately burst into the classroom and rush over 
to mess around with Harry)

Fred and George: (speaking, theatrically)  Make way for the heir of 
Slytherin, seriously evil wizard coming though!

(Percy, as Prefect, pokes his head into the classroom to yell at his 
brothers)

Percy: This is not a laughing matter!

Fred (George giggling): Well, we think it is!

Chorus (including Fred and George): (singing)
It's a monster, putting Muggle-borns at risk
Causing a stir -

Hermione: (speaking) Could it be a Basilisk?

(The whole class becomes suddenly quiet as all turn and look at 
Hermione for a moment before starting to sing again)

Chorus:
We're all intrigued, hanging upon every word
We're not fatigued, it's the best thing that we've heard

Prof. Binns: speaking The whole thing is arrant nonsense, of 
course. ::cough::


-Gail B.