FILK: Inkum Dinkum

[Susan Miller]

No: HPFGUIDX 91759

This one is to dedicated to Haggridd - feel better soon, Big Guy!

To the tune of The Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini. 
Here's a great midi of this old favorite tune:

http://www.hamienet.com/2841.mid

Inkum Dinkum

The Dursleys have got a new baby
His pictures are up on the wall 
He's powdered and diapered but maybe
Mostly looks like a pink basketball

Four, three, two, listen to them cootchie coo!

They call him "Ickle Wickle Cuddly Wuddly Inkum Dinkum Snookum Dudley"
When he's kicking his mum by the door.
Then "Topkin Mopkin Mummers Mudders Winkle Dinkle Popkin Dudders"
When he throws porridge all over the floor.

Petunia's not happy they picked her
To be Harry's surrogate mum
At the zoo there's a boa constrictor
That he sic'ed on her Number One son

Two, three, four, stick around we'll tell you more         

They called him "Ickle Wickle Cuddly Wuddly Inkum Dinkum Snookum 
Dudley"
When he refused to go pick up the mail.
Then "Topkin Mopkin Mummers Mudders Winkle Dinkle Popkin Dudders"
When a half-giant gave him a tail.

When Dudley had grown to a Laddie
On a diet of Junk food and pies
His backside had filled out so flabby
That Smeltings did not have his size.

Four, Six, Eight, Mummy watches Dudley's plate

She serves him Itsy bitsy teeny weenie diet portions of zuchini
No potatoes or sweets on his plate.
But lettuce, turnips, broccolini, now and then a stringy beanie
That's when Dudders began to lose weight.

Now he's vandalizing playgrounds
He pretends to be at tea
He's beating up on children
Gangster pals call him Big D. 

>From the baby to the bully 
He's as bad as he can get
To the juvenile delinquent
And the story ain't done yet. 

They called him "Ickle Wickle Cuddly Wuddly Inkum Dinkum Snookum 
Dudley"
When he feinted outside Number Four.
Then "Topkin Mopkin Mummers Mudders Winkle Dinkle Popkin Dudders"
When he upchucked all over the door.

They'll call him "Ickle Wickle Cuddly Wuddly Inkum Dinkum Snookum 
Dudley"
When someday he's in front of a judge
Then "Topkin Mopkin Mummers Mudders Winkle Dinkle Popkin Dudders"
Better hope that the name isn't Fudge.


~ Constance Vigilance