FILK: The Ministry Way

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 89171

The Ministry Way (OOP, Chap. 8)

To the tune of The Company Way from Frank Loesser's How to Succeed in 
Business Without Even Trying 

Hear a brief excerpt of this song:

http://users.bestweb.net/~foosie/howto.htm

Dedicated to Constance Vigilance (cause she cared enough to ask)

THE SCENE: The Wizengamot. Completely alone, HARRY faces CORENLIUS 
FUDGE, Senior Undersecretary DOLORES UMBRIDGE and the rest of the 
Ministers on charges of violating the restrictions on Underage Magic. 

FUDGE:
When I heard the news
Of this brash young man.
Well I said to myself: "Now, brash young man,
Keep on casting your spells - 
Our Wizengamot 
Will guarantee you get expelled!"

UMBRIDGE (spoken):
We play for keeps!

FUDGE (music):
We'll try you the Ministry way
For Underage Magic on 
Wisteria Way.

HARRY:
I had to save my life
.

FUDGE:
Why don't you save your breath?

HARRY:
Supposing the Ministry bears in...

FUDGE:
I'm bored to death

HARRY:
When can I say...?

FUDGE:
You shouldn't say!

HARRY:
Your court is a Ministry court
Where trials of ol' Karkaroff
And young Crouch were fought.

FUDGE:
The Ministry bureaucrats


UMBRIDGE:
Oh we'll sue you now!

FUDGE:
The Ministry leadership
.

UMBRIDGE:
Has had a cow

HARRY (spoken)
Is there any place for defense?

FUDGE (spoken): 
Unimportant!

(Enter DUMBLEDORE who serenely steps in and takes a seat, much to the 
discomfort of FUDGE & UMBRIDGE)

HARRY (music, aside)
We'll now hear gallant speaking
>From the defense 
Dumbledore has got my back

DUMBLEDORE:
I'm hoping that this courtroom will soon see sense

HARRY (aside)
But I cannot get him to make eye contact!

UMBRIDGE:
But Fudge plays it the Ministry way.

FUDGE:
How dare he, this Potter here to question clay!

UMBRIDGE:
You'll never lie out of this plot
.

FUDGE & UMBRIDGE:
For there's one thing clear,
Who raises the Ministry's ire
Will not long be here!

FUDGE (spoken)
Ah, we'll certainly find his crime


DUMBLEDORE (spoken, aside):
They're klutzy...

FUDGE (music):
This rule is a Ministry rule

UMBRIDGE:
Break Paragraph C, sir, 
And you're out of school.

FUDGE:
Hey, that Underage Sorcery

UMBRIDGE:
Oh how vile, how coarse

FUDGE:
The Statute of Secrecy

UMBRIDGE:
Has to be enforced.

HARRY (spoken, aside)
That headache head witch, she's atrocious.

FUDGE (spoken): 
So let's try him!

DUMBLEDORE (spoken):
Simply out of pique.

FUDGE (music):
Do you have any witness?

(Enter ARABELLA FIGG in her housecoat, looking confused and anxious)

DUMBLEDORE:
I've a witness, Mrs. Figg saw `mentors glide 

FIGG:
Oh yes I saw them running


DUMBLEDORE:
No, not running, you mean gliding, dear, so Harry has not lied!

FIGG:
Huh?

DUMBLEDORE:
So let's vote it, dear Ministers, pray,
Executive clemency
For my protégé. 

(A show of Wizengamot hands acquits HARRY)

FUDGE:
We've hardly got any hands

HARRY (joyously):
Now I'll have no fear.
In spite of the Ministry's ire
I will still be here.

DUMBLEDORE (hastily preparing to exit):
He will still be here.

FUDGE  & UMBRIDGE (aside):
Fear, never fear, for these senders
Still will send dementors near!

(Exit all, DUMBLEDORE still avoiding eye contact with HARRY)

    -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm