Weasley dynamics (was Re: Ron is like Percy (plus more Weasley thoughts)

[Doriane]

No: HPFGUIDX 89449


I (Del) wrote :

> I wouldn't say they are ESE either, but I must say I'm concerned 
> about a family where :
> 1. the oldest son took a job in Egypt
> 2. the second son took a job in Romania
> 3. the third son has cut all ties with the rest of the family
> 4. the fourth and fifth sons haven't even finished school and have 
> probably left the house too.
> 
> I wouldn't want to point at Molly, and most of all at Arthur, but 
> I'm not sure those two aren't responsible for the estrangement in 
> some way or another of their 5 oldest kids...
 
Sophierom replied :
 
> I'm not really sure that Bill and Charlie's far-away jobs suggest 
> some sort of dysfunctional family.  Emotional closeness doesn't 
> equal spacial closeness.

Del answers :

I agree that we can't draw a definite conclusion just from the fact 
that Bill and Charlie live far away. I'm just saying that it might be 
a hint of something going wrong. My sister and I both live away from 
our parents. In my case, it's just because I can't get a job any 
closer. In my sister's case, it's absolutely necessary to both my 
sister's and our mom's sanity : they systematically get on each 
other's nerves if they spend too much time together, even though they 
completely love each other.

Sophierom said :

> Besides, in a WW where one can apparate or travel through a quick 
> floo network, I don't think moving to Romania or Egypt is nearly as 
> a big a deal as it would be in our world.

Del answers :

But Bill and Charlie don't seem too keen to come and visit their 
family. We rarely hear of them coming over.

Sophierom said :

> Location issues aside, I'd argue that Arthur and Molly have done a 
> great job raising their sons, and all in all, their family dynamic 
> is a pretty healthy one.

Del answers :

I'm not sure I agree. The interactions we've seen between Percy, 
Fred, George, Ron and Ginny can't always be described as very healthy 
IMO. To me, the simple fact that Ron seems so overwhelmed by his five 
big brothers at the beginning of PS/SS is a sign that things aren't 
going that well between them. I understand that there's always a bit 
of competition between siblings, but this seems like way too much for 
me. My mother always made sure that we measured ourselves only 
according to our own capacities and personalities. She made sure my 
little sister wasn't overwhelmed by my academic successes, and she 
kept encouraging her to find her own talents and take pride in them. 
Ron apparently doesn't receive that kind of moral support from his 
parents. And also, the way Molly keeps giving Percy as an example to 
the twins always strikes me as exactly the wrong thing to do. Those 
things are not healthy, not at all, and they do create rifts between 
the brothers.

Sophierom said :

> Indeed, I'd say that all the sons, even Percy, show a great deal of 
> independence, and if anything, this is a sign of good parenting.  
> Arthur and Molly taught their sons to pursue their dreams and stand 
> on their own ... even if it means being estranged or dropping out 
> of school.

Del answers :

I guess it all depends on what you consider good parenting. 
Personally, I intend to give my kids all the tools I can find for 
them to be happy. Being independent and pursuing their dreams are 2 
of those tools. But being self-centered and self-serving, as Percy 
and even the twins have become, is not one of those tools. Family is 
necessary to achieve happiness, as Harry knows very well.

Sophierom said :

> Arthur and Molly should at least take some pride in the fact their 
> sons are independent adults. 

Del answers :

In fact, Percy and the twins do not seem so independent to me. Percy 
has simply transferred his dependence on the MoM and Fudge in 
particular. And the twins depend on each other. They are independent 
from their family, sure, but then they spent 7 years at a boarding 
school, that helps.

Don't get me wrong : I'm not saying that there's something wrong with 
the Weasleys for sure. I'm just saying that they show quite a few 
signs of dysfunction. And we don't know that much about Arthur and 
Molly's parenting ways. I just want to keep my eyes open.

Del