Sirius revisited--emotional maturity (Very long)

[demetra1225]

No: HPFGUIDX 104655

Boy, it's been a long weekend.  I come back and find myself over 500 
messages behind.  I should probably be catching up on all the posts, 
but for some reason (can I claim Imperius?) I feel compelled to 
respond to some of the posts on the Sirius thread.  I'm going to try 
to reply to a few different issues in the same post, so I apologize 
for the length.

I'm paraphrasing but someone asked why bother picking apart the 
characters.  I look at it this way – we have been handed a number of 
pieces to a puzzle, but not enough to figure out the picture yet.  So 
we dig into existing canon and it is like peeling an onion – under 
each layer is another.  As I try to fit the pieces together, I look 
at the characters and how they fit in.  What is their role?  What is 
their backstory?  What is their motivation?  

Of course, each of views the characters through a filter of our own 
experiences and perceptions.  I'm going to explain my 
personal "filter" at the end of this post, but for now I'll say that 
I believe that JKR intends us to see Sirius as a "good guy".  I think 
that his life is tragic.  He was raised with wealth and privilege but 
had a terrible mother, so I assume he had a less than ideal family 
life.  He suffered greatly as an adult, losing his friends (surrogate 
family), was falsely imprisoned for 12 years.  He is likely depressed 
and perhaps even occasionally loses touch with reality.  I have a 
great deal of sympathy for his character, even though I don't really 
like him.  I'm going to try to explain why I have a problem with his 
character and respond to some of the issues others have raised.

Jocelyn wrote in post #104145
[snip] I read a scientific article recently which said that there is 
a region of
the brain which engages when considering consequences. This develops 
at
different rates in different people, but generally is finished 
developing in
most young women by their late teens, however in many males it may not
develop until the late 20s. Obviously there is a spread in individual
development which you may imagine finishes later in the male 
population.

Demetra:
I haven't read that particular article, but I don't think the concept 
is particularly new.  In an Adolescent Psychology course I took in 
college, and we're talking early 80's, we had a lengthy class 
discussion on whether the age for obtaining a driver's license should 
be raised to 18 for males since their impulsivity often results in 
very poor choices when driving resulting in high accident rates for 
teen males.  
But I think we need to keep in mind what this fact does not mean.  It 
does not mean that teen/young adult males do not know right from 
wrong or that they cannot control their impulses at all.  If that 
were the case, one could argue that every male prisoner under age 30 
should be released because they weren't to blame for their actions.  
Remember too, impulsivity is a split second thing.  It is the 
decision to pull out in front of that car going 70mph.  But when you 
have the time to think about an action, then you can't blame 
impulsiveness for it.   
This is why I have a problem with the argument that Sirius was simply 
acting like a typical impulsive teen with the Prank.  It is clear 
that he knows that a werewolf is dangerous.  Besides being friends 
with and running with Lupin, we know that he has learned about 
werewolves in class before the prank.  In the penseive scene in OotP 
we learn that there were questions about werewolves on the DADA OWL.  
I can see no way that he didn't know that Snape could have been 
killed.  And if it was an impulsive act that caused him to send Snape 
to the Shack in the first place, he had time to re-think his actions, 
but he didn't.  He had enough time to tell James and for James to go 
and save Snape.  It is this callous disregard for Snape's life, and 
for Lupin who is his friend, that I have a problem with.  Plus the 
fact that he never seems to show any remorse for his action. The only 
response we ever hear from Sirius about the event was that Snape 
deserved it.  Even if we are shown in future books that Severus 
something horrible to Sirius that Sirius thought his actions were 
justified, what about Lupin? 
Katie wrote in her post # 104168
[snip] Then why place so much importance on Sirius'
behavior in the Pensieve scene? I don't think he comes out too much
worse in that memory than anyone else (except Lily, of course.)

Demetra:
I place importance on the whole Pensieve scene because it is, as far 
as I know, the only canon evidence of the dynamic between MWPP, with 
a side of Lily and Snape.  Someday I hope to pick apart the whole 
scene because I think it is packed with information and insights into 
each of the characters.  As a quick rundown though, I think we see 
that James and Sirius were the ringleaders.  They clearly have a 
close friendship, perhaps even bringing out the best and worst in 
each other.  Peter is shown as a hanger-on, maybe even desperate to 
be friends with these two cool guys.  James seems to enjoy the 
attention.  Sirius dismisses Peter with a rather cruel comment about 
Wormtail wetting himself.  Sirius then also dismisses Lupin by 
telling him essentially, I don't need to study so why should I bother 
to help you study?  In both situations Sirius is coldly dismissive of 
his friends.  

Sherry Gomes wrote in her post # 104180
[snip] About his teasing Lupin, well, I am disabled. I am blind. My 
best friends can make teasing cracks to me, and it is funny. [snip]
I am quite sure that Lupin never minded Sirius teasing him. [snip]

Demetra:
Perhaps when they were talking about the werewolf questions on the 
OWL.  But not in the following passage:
"I'm bored," said Sirius.  "Wish it was full moon."
"You might," said Lupin darkly from behind his book.   (OotP, page 
645)
No, I think that Lupin did mind Sirius' comment.  Why else would he 
reply "darkly".  I think it was a thoughtlessly cruel comment on 
Sirius' part, perhaps one of those impulsive outbursts.  But notice, 
even when Lupin calls him on it, there is no apology.  I don't even 
think Sirius caught on that he was being obnoxious.  

I'm going to make only one more comment before my fingers start 
cramping and I put anyone who has read this far to sleep.  I said I 
would explain how I personally look at the Pensieve scene and the 
Prank.  I have a 9 year old son who has ADD and has a learning 
disability.  He has been on the receiving end of some schoolyard 
bullying because of "what he is".  As any Mom will attest, each and 
every instance when your child is hurt is like a knife through your 
heart.  So when I look at the Pensieve scene, I put my son in Lupin's 
place and I can't see Sirius as anything but an arrogant, self-
centered jerk.  And when I think of the Prank, I put my son in 
Snape's place (even though my son probably has the kindest un-
Snapelike heart you can imagine) or Lupin's place and I can't fathom 
Sirius' casually shrugging off what could have meant death for both 
Snape and Lupin.  

Demetra