Sirius revisited--emotional maturity

[Brenda M.]

No: HPFGUIDX 104854

>>> Del replies :
> Being sorry and saying so has nothing to do with formality. Whether 
I
> hurt someone I barely know or my husband (who is also my best 
friend),
> I say sorry when I realise what I've done.

> [Later part of post, arranged by Brenda]
> Amey wrote :
> > And of course Lupin didn't take it that seriously himself.
> 
> Del replies :
> He answered "darkly". I'd say it's pretty serious for Remus.
> 
> Amey wrote :
> > (It's like Hermione saying she wished to see thestrals also.
> 
> Del replies :
> Yep, and as soon as she realises what she's said, she apologises
> profusely : I'm sorry, that was a stupid thing to say. Sirius said
> nothing of the sort.


Bren now:

I take it as guys' thing. Like silent agreement or pact amongst guys 
that they don't show their weakness. Or don't acknowledge that they 
had done something stupid/out-of-line and now they see it -- but now 
their *pride* takes over and they become incapable of saying "sorry". 
I think, in Sirius' rebellious and "cooler-than-thou" mind, it was 
already too late to show that kind of remorse.

Hermione is different, she is a GIRL (again emphasis on being a GIRL) 
more mature and very upfront and straightforward.

Apologizing for suspecting Lupin as a spy is a totally different 
matter. Lupin's integrity as a whole was on the hot plate. Sirius 
NEEDED to apologize, as he did (same goes for Lupin).

Sirius probably thought that it'd be petty of Lupin to get offended 
by his 'wish it was full moon' comment, they had been close friends 
for almost 5 years, worked his butt-off for 3 whole years to be 
Padfoot to keep his company. Lupin knew the Marauders accepted and 
liked him for who he was, not what he was. I doubt he was actually 
offended after all those years. It was more of a "friendly tease", 
but being teenage bully guys, it came out more harsh than intended, 
IMO.

I also completely agree with Sherry G on this one, she said in 
Message 104821:

-------------------------------------------------------------------
I took the Lupin said darkly completely differently than either of 
you. Here's how I took it. Let's say a friend of mine gave me a bad 
time and teased me about something to do with one of my disabilities. 
I might reply darkly--and by that I mean in a menacing tone or 
something--watch out or I'll hit you over the head with my white 
cane. Or if it happened now, I might threaten to have my guide dog
attack. I might say it deadpan, with no smile and in a dark tone, but
anyone who knows me would know I wasn't offended. My dog would 
certainly never attack anyone! Anyone who knows anything about guide 
dogs would know that, too. But again, if a casual acquaintance or 
coworker or stranger said the same thing, I would be angry and 
offended.

I believe that the friendship between Lupin and Sirius is too close 
for Lupin to have taken him seriously or been offended. Otherwise, 
why are they so close later, described as being like brothers? Yes, I 
know, in POA, they embraced like brothers. But their friendship 
throughout the rest of the books doesn't show any strain, and indeed, 
Lupin seems to be the only one, except maybe Dumbledore, who can have 
any impact on Sirius and make him stop and think.
--------------------------------------------------------------------


> Amey wrote :
> > I don't think Sirius was thinking of anything else except fun and 
> > adventure full moon brought.
> 
> Del replies :
> But that's *precisely* the problem !! Full moon brought *Sirius* 
some
> fun, not Remus. Remus did *not* like the full moon periods, even if
> they were easier to bear since his friends shared them with him.


Bren now:

But didn't Lupin say in Shrieking Shack, "And they didn't desert me 
at all. Instead they did something for me that would make my 
transformations not only bearable, but the best times of my life. 
They became Animagi" (PoA, 258. UK)

Werewolves aren't danger to animals, so when they couldn't keep him 
company as humans they did as animals. Exploring Hogwarts ground and 
Forbidden Forest as animals is a *extremely* fun adventure -- even 
for me, let alone hot-blooded over-their-own-heads boys.

I think they all longed for that *special time of month* (not like 
girls... yikes). Can you imagine the look on their faces when they 
started writing the Marauder's Map? Hmm, I wonder if they actually 
called themselves that, 'Marauders'. But why the 'Intruders' 
or 'Raiders', I wonder...

Bren, who keeps ending posts with another questions, just like 
Smarttone ;P