[HPforGrownups] Emotional Intimacy in the HP stories (not necessarily romantic)

[Jocelyn Grunow]

No: HPFGUIDX 105565

on 11/7/2004 5:14 AM, harp66 at harp66 at yahoo.com wrote:

> Is the relationship between Harry and Ron a good model of teenage
> male friendship?

Dunno.  I'm a girl.

>In GoF we learn that Ron is the person who means
> most to Harry. Is that reciprocated?

Harry is pretty important to Ron, but Ron also has other people in his life.
Would Harry be more important to him than his father, mother, Hermione?  Who
knows.  He is definitely up there in the top 5 though.

>And why don't they discuss girls?

There was a thread not long ago about this.  I was convinced by the
propositions that:
(a) They're still more interested in Quiddich than girls (give it another
year), and
(b) They're BUSY

I might add though
(c) They're British!  I think that even today the British culture is more
reticent about emotions and less inclined to sexualise all boy-girl
friendships than Americans.

> And Hermione. What are community members' thoughts on the way her
> friendship with Ron/Harry is depicted in terms of sharing herself
> with them emotionally?

See points a & c.  I think she is very sensible in that she shares as much
of herself as the boys feel comfortable with, but keeps the rest for
girl-talk.

>Shared adventures aside, how deep is their
> relationship?

It is founded on trust in the face of danger from Day 1.  They don't have to
talk about it for it to be deep.

>And why isn't she shown to have female intimates? Is
> this a flaw in the stories?

The stories focus on Harry, but there are revealing glimpses of Hermione's
life with girls.  We tend to assume that if she is not with the boys she is
in the library.  So do the boys - but they are wrong.

Hermione is good friends with Ginny (see OotP), and in my opinion that
offhand remark after Harry kisses Cho is because the GIRLS know all about
what Cho thinks.  They know Cho's emotional state and what she feels about
both Cedric and Harry.  Hermione wouldn't consider it appropriate to tell
Harry what Cho feels, but Cho has doubtless told her best friends
everything, and Hermione would keep her ears open for gossip on this topic.

Jocelyn