I'm not proud of it

[quigonginger]

No: HPFGUIDX 107033

Sylvia wrote:
> Ginger, you are so sweet to equate called a teacher an old silly 
with 
> what those boys did to Snape.  I assume you were a very little 
girl - 
> is first grade like our reception? i.e. about 5 or 6?
> I think one of the reasons that some of us take a graver view of 
the 
> behaviour of James and Sirius is that we have experienced not so 
much 
> bullying of ourselves (which is often possible to forgive (though 
not 
> forget) and move on from, but bullying of our children, which is an 
> entirely different matter.  (snip)

Ginger responds:

Oh, dear.  Sylvia, I must apologize for not making myself clear.  It 
is one of my worst flaws that I assume for no reason at all that 
others know what I am thinking.  

My intention in including the scene from first grade (age 6) was not 
to compare it to the actions of the boys in the scene Harry saw.  I 
thought of that scene because it stands out in my mind as a time when 
I had done something really bad (in my mind at that time) and there 
was no way I could undo it.  

I have had years to think it over.  At the time, I was sick to my 
stomach, felt the blood drain out of my face, and started crying.  
Looking back now, I *remember* how I felt, but I don't feel that 
way.   I don't feel physically ill, I just remember the shame.  

The comparison between me and Sirius was not the gravity of what was 
done, but the amount of time we have had to think on it.  Sirius 
spent 12 years with his worst memories.  Somewhere in there he had to 
have asked himself "where did I go wrong" and the dementor-induced 
atmosphere undoubtedly gave him much to think on.  

My point was that the *initial* shock was well over for Sirius, but 
was fresh for Harry.  That is why Harry is so much more upset than 
Sirius.  Time does that.  It allows us remember more objectively, 
less emotionally.  

I hope that clears it up.  Sorry for not explaining myself well.
Ginger, who has done worse things, but none for which I was that 
shocked with myself.