FILK: I Unwrapped my Firebolt

[catherinemckiernan]

No: HPFGUIDX 99945

I've been meaning to do this one for ages. Thank goodness for long 
train journeys finally forcing me to it.

Catherine McK

*

I Unwrapped my Firebolt

A filk to "Ill Wind," by Flanders and Swann, which is itself set to 
the tune of Mozart Concerto K.495, movement III and otherwise known 
as the French Horn song. The lyrics to that version can be found at 
http://www.nyanko.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/fas/anotherhat_ill.html

HARRY:

I unwrapped my Firebolt and wanted to fly it
For Gryffindor to win the match, but alack!
They took it away e'en before I could try it 
They said it was sent me by Sirius Black!

I need that broom; the other was whomped by a willow tree.
I need that broom, doesn't matter who sent it to me

I only desire 
To fly on that Fire-
Bolt; it is the best broom I have known.

Oh, the hours that I could spend
Flying that broomstick from here to Land's End.

But that was this morning and this evening McGonagall came to our 
room,
Demanded the broom, said someone could have jinxed it.

Oh, my Firebolt is gone!
How could she, could McGonagall take my broom?
Oh, my Firebolt is gone! 
Sirius? What a fuss.
Now the Slytherins are sure to slaughter us.

They'll strip it down;
That is a crime,
That broom is mine.

My Nimbus 2000 was whomped by a willow
In frenzied and vicious arboreal attack,
But the Firebolt replacing it sugared the pill – oh
Who cares if `twas sent me by Sirius Black!

Hermione, Hermione how could you do this to me?
Hermione, Hermione, Hermione - flee!
It isn't fair you didn't care about my feelings at all.

No checks for curse or hex or jinx effects
Will show a result on that broom.
Oliver! Oliver! Can't you try to get it back from her?
Will you kindly return that broom? Where is the Professor who pinched 
my broom?

I shall tell Dumbledore I want my broomstick back.
I miss my Quidditch more and more and more.
Without a broom I've feeling sad and sunk in gloom.

I unwrapped my Firebolt and wanted to fly it,
Displaying my talent on the Quidditch pitch,
But this Christmas day to my utter dismay McGonagall took it away.
I unwrapped my Firebolt and wanted to fly it, but McGonagall took it 
away.
I unwrapped my Firebolt, was longing to try it, but McGonagall took 
it away.

I won't speak to Hermione.
Now the Trio's just two and not three.
But who did send that broomstick to me?