What's wrong with being bad ?

[judy_magic333]

No: HPFGUIDX 102551

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "Ava" <lethafaraday at y...> wrote:
> But it would seem to me, as Del suggests, that there are 
> far worse things than name-calling. 

First of all, since this will be my first post (at least in a very 
long time), let me re-introduce myself.  My name is Judy -- I am a 
late-comer to HP but am fully addicted now and enjoy reading some of 
the threads posted here and on the Movie egroup.  I used to live in 
the US (specifically, in North Carolina), but moved to Scotland seven 
months ago to get married, where I now live very happily, though I 
miss some things I took for granted while living in the US.  At any 
rate, Scotland is a beautiful country, and my husband and I 
(sometimes with our border collie, Inca) go out on Saturdays to spend 
time at various places in Scotland that we can get to and back by 
train within one day.  My favorite place so far is Loch Lomond.

Anyway, I have been reading this thread with great interest, which I 
have found thoughtful and intellectually stimulating.  Based on the 
quote I opened my post with, I wanted to jump in and comment here.  
Though some good points have been made on both sides, I lean heavily 
to one overall side in this discussion.  You see, I was the childhood 
victim of psychological/emotional abuse.  I had no friends to confide 
in, being instead the target of teasing and put-downs, and most 
especially none of the teachers gave me any inspiration to rise above 
my "programming" at home.  In fact, my 5th grade teacher humiliated 
me in front of the whole class over something outside of class that 
was a matter of personal preference, and I have yet to get over that 
incident, having flashbacks to this very day.

Some of you might say, what has this to do with the discussion?  
Well, I'll tell you -- I have had teachers like Snape, and there have 
been times when even my parents treated me the way Snape treats 
certain students.  And, I can speak from personal experience that 
this does *not* inspire you to learn or lose weight (for instance).  
In fact, it has the opposite effect -- living down to their 
bad "predictions", so to speak.  Where else do they have to go, when 
there is noone telling them that they *are* better than what the 
teacher or parents tells them??  Granted, Harry has a strong enough 
personality to let much of the abuse slide off him like water off a 
duck, and it helps that he has Ron, Hermione, most of the other 
Weasleys, Lupin and sometimes DD encouraging him.  But, someone like 
Neville doesn't have a support system, certainly not enough of one to 
help him overcome criticisms coming from all sides.  

Hearing the kind of thing Snape spews at students like Harry and 
Neville all the time is not what is needed to give you the 
inspiration to better yourself.  You have to have someone who tells 
you that you *can* do it.  Someone like me didn't have the belief in 
myself to do this on my own, just as Neville doesn't, since all we 
hear is what a scew-up we are.  Fortunately -- though it took 50 
years -- I met a man who loves me and encourages me always, even with 
my faults, and now I am married to him.  I can only hope that Neville 
will come to have someone (friend, teacher or companion) to give him 
the encouragement he needs.  And that Snape's abuse toward Harry and 
him (Harry) being blamed for things he didn't do will not be an 
obstacle in the coming days when he will face the worse battles of 
his life, where his life and the lives of others are at stake.  
Little seeds can grown to be big weeds, so to speak.