On the other hand (was Re: Disliked Uncle Vernon)

[Jen Reese]

No: HPFGUIDX 92615

> > Jen: Personally, I'm hoping the Dursley's decision to take Harry 
in 
> > will be a little less fear and loathing and a little more 
> > manipulation and mayhem. "What's in it for us?" Vernon asked, 
> > quietly. 
 
> Kneasy:
> A reasonable (if mercenary) thought. One small snag - who do  they
> bicker with and  how?
> 
> So far as we know no-one from the WW has met them face to face
> and the Dursleys  don't seem to have a method of contacting DD
> and his merry crew. That  makes negotiations a bit problematical.


Jen: Yes, that IS a problem. Those magical people are so darn 
annoying in their elitism. I guess that leaves us with the "take 
him....or else" scenario, even though it doesn't satisfy my 
mercenary wish. Pity.

Kneasy: 
> I suppose they could suspend Harry over a barbeque in the back 
garden
> and wait for somebody to come galloping to the rescue, but the 
little
> toe-rag would probably  use his own in-built skin-saver to escape.
> 
> DD reads  the Muggle newspapers, so they could always put in a
> suitably noticeable ad: "Found near Godrics Hollow - a  
sacrificial lamb.
> Open to offers. Box XYZ." That'd make him shift. Make the DEs perk
> their ears up too.

Jen: Ah, yes, Harry is such a killjoy in that respect. How about the 
possibility of kidnapping Mrs. Figg and/or her cats until 
negotiations start? I'm convinced Petunia knows Mrs. Figg is in on 
the gig and that's why she allows Harry to stay with her. Why else 
would she leave him with a neighbor, when he could potentially 
destroy the house and leave the Dursleys ostracized for good? 

> Kneasy:
> Good oh. Vernon on a poster looking like a pink, dyspeptic walrus, 
> sporting a T-shirt that reads "Muggles are Magic" - an absolute 
must is
> that on his head is the traditional knotted hankerchief;  that 
plus the 
> obligatory baggy ex-army shorts, knee length socks and orthopaedic 
> sandals produces a vision of suburban hom. sap. in all it's 
splendour.

Jen: OK, OK, enough! Now you're just cracking me up :). I think even 
Arthur would object to Vernon if he had to spend too much time 
carting him around to magical functions as the token Muggle. I 
definitely think he needs *white* knee length socks with black 
loafers to complete the picture, though.