FILK: You're Too Afraid To Call Me By My Name

[Jason]

No: HPFGUIDX 98279

You're Too Afraid To Call Me By My Name (The Perfect Harry Potter 
Filk) (parody of "You Never Even Call Me By My Name (The Perfect 
Country & Western Song) by David Allen Coe)

VOLDEMORT:
It was all, that I could do, to keep from dyin'
Sometimes it seemed so useless to remain
And you don't have to call me Voldy
 darlin'
You're too afraid to call me by my name

Now some folks call me, you-know-who
And some people say, he-who-must-not-be-named
And you don't want to call me, by my name "Voldemort"
Even though The Dark Lord will suffice.

And I'll hang around because I'll live forever
And my hatred and my anger stays the same
You don't have to call me `Voldy'
 darlin'
You're too afraid to call me by my name

Well I've heard my name spoken by Harry Potter
And I've heard it when I got blown away
But the only time you'll know, that I am Tom Marvolo
Is when Harry finds the girl and saves the day

So I'll hang around because I'll live forever
And my hatred and my anger stays the same
You don't have to call me `Voldy'
 darlin'
You're too afraid to call me by my name

(spoken)
Well a filthy Muggle named Jason LeBouef wrote that filk, and he told 
me it was the perfect Harry Potter Filk.  I wrote him back a letter 
and I told him it was not the perfect Harry Potter Filk because he 
hadn't said anything at all about Hogwarts, or Magic, or Hagrid, or 
Quidditch, or gettin' hurt.  Well he sat down and wrote another verse 
to this filk and sent it to me.  After reading it, I realized this 
nasty muggle had written the perfect Harry Potter filk.  I felt 
obliged to include it on this song.  And the last verse goes like 
this here:

HARRY:
I got hurt, the day we won playing Quidditch
And I went to visit Hagrid in the rain
But before we could get to Hogwarts in the Anglia
Almost got runned over by that damned old train.

VOLDEMORT:
And I'll hang around because I'll live forever
And my hatred and my anger stays the same
You don't have to call me `Voldy'
 darlin'
You're too afraid to call me
I wonder why you're afraid to call me
Why don't you ever call me by my name?