Harry, Ginny, and age appropriateness / Abusive Harry (combined answer)

[vmonte]

No: HPFGUIDX 136052

Del wrote:

Do you want to know what *I* see?

I see a relationship that is deemed good by how it makes *the boy* 
feel.

I see a relationship in which the girl is obviously devoted to the
boy, but *not once* do we see the boy being devoted to the girl.

I see a relationship in which the boy calls the shots and the girl
meekly accepts his decisions.

vmonte:
Hmmm. Well, Dumbledore was just killed. The Order has lost an 
important leader. The WW community (and muggles) are in danger of 
being wiped out. The dementors are breeding. There will be no happily 
ever after for Ginny and Harry if someone doesn't get rid of 
Voldemort. 

Ginny understands this because unlike all the other girls in the 
story, Tom Riddle took control over her for a whole year. She knows 
what he is capable of. That said, I don't think that JKR is going to 
make Ginny sit and wait for Harry during book 7.

Ginny wouldn't need to be a "powerful witch" if she was basically 
going to wait around for Harry to fetch her after he kills 
Voldemort.  She is, according to JKR, "Harry's equal." 

Ginny has a very forceful personality. She is tough because she grew 
up with a house full of boys but because she is a girl she knows how 
to handle them.

PoA
"Fine! shouted Mrs Weasley. Fine! Ginny - BED!

Ginny did not go quietly. They could hear her raging and storming at 
her mother all the way up the stairs, and when she reached the hall 
Mrs Black's ear-splitting shrieks were added to the din. Lupin 
hurried off to the portrait to restore calm. It was only after he had 
returned, closing the kitchen door behind him and taking his seat at 
the table again, that Sirius spoke."

vmonte: 
And unlike Harry who was embarassed at being caught in the train by 
Cho with Luna and Neville, we hear Ginny standing up for Neville, and 
understanding (while enjoying) Luna's quirkiness. Ginny knows Luna, 
even though she is not a Gryffindor.  And Ginny gets Luna. It takes 
Harry and Ron another year to begin relating to Luna in this way. 
     
'I'm nobody,' said Neville hurriedly.

'No you're not,' said Ginny sharply. 'Neville Longbottom - Luna 
Lovegood. Luna's in my year, but in Ravenclaw.'

Del:
I see a girl who is the Perfect Girl for the boy : she loves what he
loves - Quidditch, for example - , she knows exactly when to talk or
when to shut up, she knows when to act and when to do nothing, and so
on. I do NOT see a boy adjusting to a girl who is not The Perfect Girl
For Him.

I see a girl who hero-worships the boy.

vmonte:
Is there something wrong for falling with a girl that likes what you 
like? Ginny is good at Quidditch, she likes it. Also, is there 
something wrong with being pretty? Pretty girls can be nice too. And 
Ginny never keeps her mouth shut when she feels that Harry is wrong.

OOTP:
'Yeah?' growled Harry, his hands deep in his pockets as he watched 
the snow now falling thickly outside. 'All been talking about me, 
have you? Well, I'm getting used to it.'

'We wanted to talk to you, Harry,' said Ginny, 'but as you've been 
hiding ever since we got back -'

'I didn't want anyone to talk to me,' said Harry, who was feeling 
more and more nettled.

'Well, that was a bit stupid of you,' said Ginny angrily, 'seeing as 
you don't know anyone but me who's been possessed by You-Know-Who, 
and I can tell you how it feels.'

Harry remained quite still as the impact of these words hit him. Then 
he wheeled round.

'I forgot,' he said.

'Lucky you,' said Ginny coolly.

'I'm sorry,' Harry said, and he meant it. 'So
 so, do you think I'm 
being possessed, then?'

vmonte: 
No one was able to handle Harry's temper except Ginny (and the twins) 
who flat out put Harry in his place every time.

Del:
For all those reasons and more, I see an extremely DANGEROUS depiction
of what a perfect romantic relationship looks like:

1. A girl must make her boy happy.

2. No reciprocation is necessary. The girl takes her pleasure from
making the boy happy, and from being with him.

3. A girl must let her boy take the major decisions for the couple.
She must not discuss his decisions.

vmonte:
Again, I restate that Ginny will not remain sitting by the fire at 
school waiting for her hero to claim her. 

She will fight with him.

Vivian