Harry, Ginny, and age appropriateness / Abusive Harry (combined answer)

[Cindy]

No: HPFGUIDX 136051

> Marianne wrote:
> "Which is exactly why I believe, and my student's view supported, 
that
> the Harry/Ginny relationship is a POSTIVE role model. "
> 
> Del replies:
> It won't surprise you to be told that I disagree, huh :-) ?
> 

> 
> Marianne wrote:
> "3) Harry with Ginny shows that the girl has a better chance of
> getting the guy of her dreams if she's being herself."
> 
> Del replies:
> Except that JKR blew that one up by having Ginny reveal that she 
never
> gave up on Harry. So Ginny was NOT being herself when she was 
dating
> Michael and Dean. She was *never* attracted to either boy, she was
> only pretending to be.
> 
> Marianne wrote:
> "We read that she accepts and understands him. Perhaps she 
knows "if
> you love something, set it free
" or maybe she'll devise a plan to 
let
> Harry know she can be a help, not a risk. "
> 
> Del replies:
> Do you want to know what *I* see?
> 
> I see a relationship that is deemed good by how it makes *the boy* 
feel.
> 
> I see a relationship in which the girl is obviously devoted to the
> boy, but *not once* do we see the boy being devoted to the girl.
> 
> I see a relationship in which the boy calls the shots and the girl
> meekly accepts his decisions.
> 
> I see a girl who is the Perfect Girl for the boy : she loves what 
he
> loves - Quidditch, for example - , she knows exactly when to talk 
or
> when to shut up, she knows when to act and when to do nothing, and 
so
> on. I do NOT see a boy adjusting to a girl who is not The Perfect 
Girl
> For Him.
> 
> I see a girl who hero-worships the boy.
> 
> Marianne wrote:
> "7) Harry's breakup with Ginny (which my pre-teen student did not
> think was the end) shows the kind of maturity and acceptance that I
> hope all teens have. Ginny, for all I can guess, is not giving up 
on
> Harry
 but she's letting him do what he Must. "
> 
> Del replies:
> As in:
> 
> "- This is my decision.
> - Yes dear, whatever you say dear."
> 
> > And here goes JKR reinforcing that stereotype of the Perfect 
Girl!
> 
> > 
> Marianne wrote:
> "JKR also accepts her responsibility by not showing so much detail
> about Harry's strong feelings for Ginny and their private 
interaction
> that it turns off young readers. Yes, adolescent girls are very
> impressionable and yes, they often look to literature as a model 
for
> relating to boys. JKR does not show anything that would scare off
> readers, but shows what the result of a healthy relationship can 
be."
> 
> Del replies:
> Except that she shows ONLY the BOY's side! Not a word about how the
> GIRL feels. She makes the success of the relationship hang only on
> what effect it has on the boy. And that is an extremely WRONG 
message
> to give to impressionable teenage girls, IMO.
> 
> ---
> 
 
> Grindieloe wrote:
> "I see not one reason for anyone to believe that there was any 
kind of
> an abusive relationship."
> 
> Del replies:
> That's not what I said.
> 
> What I did say is that we don't see enough interaction between 
Harry
> and Ginny to *exclude* an abusive relationship. We know that Harry 
is
> happy, period. Well, both abusers and victims are often happy at
> first, so it doesn't mean anything.
> 
>>> 
> .
> 
> Grindieloe wrote: 
> "I am a Harry/Ginny supporter.  You are not.  The End."
> 
> Del replies:
> How many times will I have to say it? I AM a H/G supporter, I 
ALWAYS
> was a H/G supporter. But that doesn't mean that I am going to 
accept
> this fake and cheap romance as The Real Deal. Just because I was
> bought to the idea long before HBP came out doesn't mean that JKR 
can
> screw it up like that.

A snip of JKR's interview from Mugglenet.  I think it shows that JKR 
has her priorities in line when it comes to writing the romance.  I 
still say she was heavily edited, however, that is the beauty of 
good writing, our own truth emerges when we use our imaginations.

Melissa: MA: What does it do to you to see a character that you 
love, for people to express sheer hate -

ES: Or vice versa.

 
JKR: It amuses me. It honestly amuses me. People have been waxing 
lyrical [in letters] about Draco Malfoy, and I think that's the only 
time when it stopped amusing me and started almost worrying me. I'm 
trying to clearly distinguish between Tom Felton, who is a good 
looking young boy, and Draco, who, whatever he looks like, is not a 
nice man. It's a romantic, but unhealthy, and unfortunately all too 
common delusion of — delusion, there you go — of girls, and you 
[nods to Melissa] will know this, that they are going to change 
someone. And that persists through many women's lives, till their 
death bed, and it is uncomfortable and unhealthy and it actually 
worried me a little bit, to see young girls swearing undying 
devotion to this really imperfect character, because there must be 
an element in there, that "I'd be the one who [changes him]." I 
mean, I understand the psychology of it, but it is pretty unhealthy. 
So, a couple of times I have written back, possibly quite sharply, 
saying [Laughter], "You want to rethink your priorities here."