In defense of Molly + Merope comments

[phoenixgod2000]

No: HPFGUIDX 136458

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, Schlobin at a... wrote:
> 
> Now on to mothers...I wish to start with a spirited defense of 
Molly  
> Weasley, mother to Bill, Charley, Percy, Fred, George, Ron and 
Ginny. I beg to  
> differ with the many heated criticisms of her parenting on this 
forum. 

My problem with Molly isn't really about her general parenting 
skills or lack there of. I do think she is probably a darker/more 
poisonous character than you give her credit for but other than her 
treatment of Ron in GoF and her treatment of the twins in general I 
don't think I ever criticized her parenting. My problem with Molly 
stems from three things.

1. Her treatment of Arthur. It's deplorable in my view and undercuts 
his authority at every turn. Its amazing he can stand with his total 
lack of a backbone.

2. Her treatment of Sirius in OOTP. It was absolutely out of bounds 
and unforgivable in my view. To attack a man who had spent twelve 
years under torture for not being there for Harry when he is the 
sole reason Sirius managed to escape the inescapable in my view not 
just rude, but flat out evil. Maybe not Voldemort evil, but evil 
nonetheless. And she did it in his home in which she was a guest.

3.  Her almost pathologically blind faith in Dumbledore. Lets not 
forget that it was crazy and wild Sirius with the poor judgement who 
ended up being proven more right about how to handle Harry by the 
end of OOTP and not Molly's blind acceptence of Dumbledore's 
instructions.

> In the great tradition of mothers, Molly is fiercely protective of 
both her  
> biological children -- and her chosen child of the heart -- Harry. 

But it isn't her job to be fiercely protective of Harry. She can 
love him and be there for him when he needs it, but it was up to 
Sirius--as his actual guardian--to decide what was best for Harry, 
and she just shoved her way in, deciding that without any actual 
authority it should be her way or the highway when it came to Harry. 
She has every right to decide what information her underage children 
get to hear but she has no right to dictate what harry does. It was 
obnoxious and made her utterly unlikeable in my view. 
  
> I wonder how  much of the criticism of Molly stems from the 
popular pastime 
> of blaming the  mother for everything..and holding her totally 
responsible 
> (while holding dads  to a much lower standard).....

I think that is deeply unfair. I do think that Fathers in HP get so 
far less dignity than mothers it isn't even funny. Why is the 
supposed perfect family got a father who is nothing more than a 
spineless 'yes dear' sort of man? Is the only good husband and 
father one who goes along with his wife all the time and lets her 
browbeat him in public?  Why was it so important to tear down 
Harry's father figure by showing him as a bully while leaving his 
mother as a beloved saintlike figure with nothing so much as a 
pimple marring her perfection? I think the worst of all insult 
toward fathers was done in her most recent interview when she said 
that Lily was braver than james. So the single most selfless act 
that a father commits in the entire series (charging an unkillable 
monster to try and give his wife and child a chance to flee) is 
still overshadowed by his wife? Seriously, what kind of crap is 
that?  You wanna talk about messages, skip H/G, what does this say 
about Rowlings thoughts of fatherhood? I personally think its 
outrageous.

Seperate note: I saw in your post about mothers that Merope is to be 
pitied and is a sad, pathetic character. I would disagree. She is 
evil and pathetic, but definitely not to be pitied. Don't forget 
that she is basically a rapist. She used love magic to force herself 
on Tom Sr.  What would be your reaction if Crabbe or Goyle used a 
love potion to have their way with Fleur? It's the same thing.

My rant for the day,

phoenixgod2000