Apologies and responsibility

[lady.indigo at gmail.com]

No: HPFGUIDX 139197

On 8/31/05, msbeadsley <msbeadsley at yahoo.com> wrote:
> 
> I have been trying (for hours) to respond to this thread coolly, with
> point by point rebuttals, but what it boils down to is that your
> sympathy, for whatever reason, is with Snape. I can argue and
> illustrate and quote canon until I'm blue in the face and it isn't
> going to make any difference; you're going to believe what you
> believe, regardless of how --adjectives deleted-- unrealistic, let us
> say, I might find certain arguments in support of the notion that
> Harry is or ever has in any sense been in arrears with regards to
> Snape.


If the majority of people rebutting what I was saying were actually right 
about the point that I was initially trying to make, I'd shrug and agree to 
disagree with you in this vein. Snape in general opens up plenty of cans of 
worms about nature vs. nurture, blame, psychology, hatred, the way children 
do or do not reflect their parents, and let's not forget whose side Snape 
has been on this whole time in the first place. There are no right or wrong 
answers to these just yet and we'll be here all night if we try and find 
them. And I have my sympathies just as much as you have yours, though I'm 
NOT alone in mine regardless of how many people have been silent on Snape's 
part in this thread.

But they - and you, apparently - seem to think that my implying saying Harry 
has been biased and not done everything he could means that Snape is excused 
for everything he did, has done, and will do over the thirtysomething span 
of years in his life. Or that, whether or not we excuse it, Harry should. Or 
that, whatever Snape's psychological state is, it's Harry's job to heal him! 
That's not what I'm saying, that's never what I said, and I don't believe 
any of those things. But Snape could turn out to be the spawn of the devil 
for all I care and I'll continue to tow the line regarding Harry's apology 
because it's based on what we and Harry knew in Book 5. If while getting 
sidetracked onto the issues of Marauder culpability, Snape's psychology, and 
whatever else, I interwove them with that original point then it's my own 
fault but it's never what I intended. I definitely have my own opinions on 
those things, and I expressed them, but that's not what this thread started 
as and it's not what it's about.

Regarding what Harry has done wrong, I only make these points: 

1. Snape had important skills to teach Harry, and Harry never even tried to 
tough these lessons out, in spite of how Dumbledore said they were 
necessary.

2. Harry intruded on a private and humiliating memory of Snape's and never 
made a full attempt at apology for doing so.

3. Harry never told Snape that what his father did was wrong and he is 
sorry, not for existing or in the name of taking on his father's deeds, 
simply *sorry that it happened to Snape.* Which, considering his reaction to 
the memory, is true.

4. Harry also never told Snape that to a degree Snape was right about his 
father (but that Harry is NOT his father and should not be treated the same 
way).

Considering Snape's the kind of man who will remember every last detail of 
an enemy's failings, and harp on them for years to come, I don't doubt that 
he's taken all four of these things into account and seen Harry's choice of 
response - silence, defiance, and lots of anger - as more evidence of 
arrogance and a sense of entitlement. Certainly he's wrong and this isn't 
the true way to look at things. But it's how his mind works.
Harry has never attempted to diffuse this additional evidence and even 
create the *possibility* in Snape's mind that he can have a humble moment 
where he admits to his own wrongdoing. He hasn't apologized for his own few 
and minor failings, hasn't even been very sorry for them in private. He 
didn't try to keep things pleasant enough between him and Snape that he 
could learn what it was very important for him to learn in OotP. 
Would it have worked if he did? Probably not. But he would have tried.
Is it a lot to expect from him? Yes. But it's still not the best response to 
those few moments. It's definitely a realistic response. I'm just saying 
that Harry has not been a saint and, most importantly, has not done 
everything he could do for his OWN benefit, not Snape's.
Does this excuse Snape's actions towards Harry? Hell no.
Are we totally beyond apologies now, all things considered, and it's going 
to be Harry taking the high road - either to put aside his anger and work 
with Snape, or to show some kind of mercy - that indicates his maturity 
instead? In my mind, definitely.
When someone comes to me with a rebuttal that doesn't involve me being made 
out to be an enabler of Snape's abuse, or someone who's discounted the many 
ways he's a complete bastard, a rebuttal that doesn't refer to things Snape 
had done/would do that Harry had no idea he'd taken any part in...those are 
the debates I'll listen to and stop being stubborn about. Otherwise the real 
issue's being sidetracked in the name of other things, so certainly my 
position on it can't be swayed.

And while we're at it, and just so I'm talking about more than one thing on 
this list, let's brush on this with a slightly less loaded character:
I don't like Draco at all. I think he's a one-dimensional pampered bragging 
brat and I make no allowances for his behavior save that prejudices can 
sometimes get passed on from the parents before kids even know the 
implications - but Sirius shows that this doesn't have to happen and it can 
definitely come down to just strength of character, which Malfoy doesn't 
have.
But do I think Harry should apologize for throwing a powerful curse labelled 
'for enemies' at him without even knowing what it did?
Even if Draco was casting an Unforgiveable at the moment?
YES.
Because it was a freaking stupid thing to do, and it could have killed 
someone, and Harry had plenty of other options. And once again: taking 
accountability for your mistakes is a sign of maturity. No matter what.

- Lady Indigo