[HPforGrownups] Re: CHAPDISC: HBP5, An Excess of Phlegm

[Sherry Gomes]

No: HPFGUIDX 144195

Marianne:

I think Harry's attitude towards Sirius is interesting in HBP.  He 
clearly dreads the idea of talking about what happened when his 
friends' conversation gets anywhere near Sirius or the events of his 
death, as is evidenced in this chapter where Harry starts shoveling 
eggs in his mouth hoping not to have to say anything. He doesn't 
really know how to share his feelings of loss, even with those 
people, like Tonks, who he thinks also might feel the same thing. 

And he resents or gets angry with people who he feels don't have any 
right to make a claim on Sirius.  He didn't like Vernon's reaction 
to the news of Sirius' death, he felt that Slughorn spoke of Sirius 
like an object, and not a person in the previous chapter.  He's 
ready to escalate his quarrel with the Malfoys at Madame Malkins' 
when Narcissa brings up Sirius' name.  And, of course, he's ready to 
take Dung's head off when he realizes Dung has been lifting items 
from 12 Grimmauld Place, even when the objects are not things that 
Sirius cared about.  With these people, Harry is almost possessive 
of Sirius' memory, as if to say that, since they do nothing to show 
honor or affection for Sirius, they have no right to even mention 
his name.

   

Sherry now:

Unlike many others who felt Harry's grief was dealt with too neatly, i
actually find all this very realistic.  When my dad died at only age 57, i
was swamped in grief, and I did not talk about it.  I never let anyone, not
even my siblings, see my pain.  I am the oldest, so part of my reaction was
left over oldest child syndrome, being the strong one for the others, though
we were all adults.  But it wasn't only that.  i resented anyone who might
say something negative about my father, who didn't lead an exemplary life by
any means.  i have rarely spoken of him since, and I miss him like crazy,
especially when good or bad things happen and i want to share those things
with him.  But it isn't in my nature to talk to people about my hurt, and my
grief and missing of Dad is far too deep and painful to be something I would
discuss with anyone.  I pull it into myself and deal with it alone.

So, i found Harry's reactions quite normal, especially shoveling the eggs in
his mouth, not wanting to discuss it, even with Tonks, ready to hex anyone
who says one bad thing about Sirius.  I found it far more realistic than an
obviously emotional and grief-stricken Harry would have been.  and it is his
style.  

Sherry