Snape as abuser again. Sorry! WAS: Character "rescues"

[lagattalucianese]

No: HPFGUIDX 144767

> 
> Alla:
> Actually, I just needed a temporary break from the topic, I did not 
> know that not posting on it means that you could not come with 
> acceptable definition. :-) So, I do not think that we could come up 
> with the definition that works for everybody, but here is the one 
> that works for me. Again, that is OF COURSE RL definition.
>  "Emotional abuse is a pattern of behavior that attacks a child's 
> emotional development and sense of self-worth. Emotional abuse 
> includes excessive, aggressive or unreasonable demands that place 
> expectations on a child beyond his or her capacity. Constant 
> criticizing, belittling, insulting, rejecting and teasing are some 
of 
> the forms these verbal attacks can take. Emotional abuse also 
> includes failure to provide the psychological nurturing necessary 
for 
> a child's psychological growth and development -- providing no 
love, 
> support or guidance (National Committee for the Prevention of Child 
> Abuse, 1987)."
> 
Yes to all that, speaking as a former child who has been there. 
However, I think you have to take into account the depth of the 
relationship between the adult and the child before you qualify 
something as child abuse. Getting the occasional snotty remark from a 
teacher is quite a bit different, IME, then getting "constant 
criticizing, belittling, insulting, rejecting and teasing", day in 
and day out, from a primary care-giver. I think you also have to take 
into account the emotional fortitude of the child, and the general 
context in which the remarks are made. If anyone abuses Neville, it 
is his horrible old grandmother, who sets him up to be too fragile 
emotionally to deal with Snape's behavior, which in itself is no big 
deal. Harry, on the other hand, is for some reason able to take 
Snape's goading for what it is, unkindness from one teacher with an 
unpleasant personality, basically the teacher's problem, not his, 
since none of his other teachers treat him that way. Neville's self 
esteem is too fragile to allow him to do that, and so he makes much 
more of Snape's ill nature than is really justified. In my own case, 
I had enough of a good father (and good teachers!) in my life that I 
learned by the time I was in my teens to see my mother as just a 
nasty old basket, and to filter her out as much as possible, an 
approach that became easier once I was grown and able to put physical 
distance between myself and her. To this day, she can't figure out 
why I don't want to be around her.

--La Gatta