Dudley's fate and Dursleys

[dumbledore11214]

No: HPFGUIDX 124760


Del comments:
I think what Jocelyn was trying to explain is that the intentions are
not the only thing that matter when determining abuse. Some people can
do some very bad things with the best intentions.


snip.
 
So abuse cannot be determined simply on the intentions. It's a subtle
mixture of intentions and actions. This is why legally Dudley wasn't
abused, even though his parents turned him into a total freak, which
is abuse in my opinion.


Alla:

Del, I think I agree with everything you wrote, so now I am trying to 
figure out how to revise my point in that light.

Let me try it this way, while I will concede that abuse is a mixture 
of intentions and actions, I will still say that if something is done 
with worst intentions ( here we go Dursleys and Harry again), but 
child is not harmed - I will still consider it abuse.


Alla earlier:
What will happen , in your opinion, if  there is indeed  Petunia's
redemption to occur( If you think of course that she needs
redemption.) ? Do you think Dudley will be redeemed by extension or
he will side with his father?

If indeed we will see conflict between Petunia and Vernon, I wonder
what Dudley will do.


Jocelyn:
Interesting question.  I am not sure about the whole 'redemption'  
thing, but have some thoughts about changing attitudes and beliefs.

I actually think that Dudley could be the hardest of the three to 
change.  Vernon would presumably know nothing about the WW without 
Petunia, so he is in a sense dependent upon her opinion of such 
matters.  If she changes her mind and sets her foot upon a different 
path, I think his family loyalty will carry him grumbling along with 
her.  I see her as the engine in that partnership. 
Dudley, OTOH, has been brought up from his earliest days listening 
to 'Harry is worthless/WW is horrific and perverted blah blah'.  His 
childhood experiences with the WW HAVE actually been pretty bad (pig 
tail/blownup aunt/dementors) and I really don't know if he could 
change his attitude.


Alla:

Oh, interesting. I am not sure I agree that Vernon will follow 
Petunia in case she decides to change her attitudes towards WW in 
general and Harry in particular. I think he will be very stuck on the 
normalcy and such and will leave. Mind you, I am not sure if Petunia 
will ever change, I just suspect that JKR may go this way simply 
because she started portray Petunia in a less caricature and more... 
I don't know, I guess , desperate will be the right word.

You are absolutely correct though that Dudley's experience with WW 
had been pretty bad, so maybe he will follow his father ( just my 
suspicions)


Minervakab:

Why do we expect the Dursleys to have the same specialness that allows
Harry to overcome all odds?  Why will we give Serius slack for
treating Kreacher so badly because of his awful childhood but we won't
allow the Dursleys the same slack?  Why can we forgive Snape for
hating Harry because he looks like James but not Petunia for resenting
Harry who has Lily's eyes?  Why is it poor Draco can't help being the
way he is because of his father but no one says poor Dudley because of
his?  Do we only forgive magical people for not knowing better?


Alla:

I am only replying to your last paragraph, because I am very curious 
where do you see such pattern, because none of it is true for me. :o)

I have been known to take Snape to task for hating Harry because 
Harry reminds him of James G-d knows how many times.

I have very little sympathy for "poor Draco" who can't help being the 
way he 
is, because I think he can if he really wants to and for many other 
reasons.

I like Sirius very much, but no, I don't think that his treatment of 
Kreacher was right, even though I dislike Kreacher as traitor to the 
Order.

So, to answer your question, I don't hold Dursleys to higher 
standards than magical folks. :o)


Just my opinion of course,

Alla