Mother Molly (was: Some OOTP Questions)

[dumbledore11214]

No: HPFGUIDX 125127



Phoenixgod:

Sorry Alla, I have to disagree with you. I would even go further 
than a Toxic Mother. I think Molly is flat out Toxic to just 
everyone. Practically the only arguements that happened in the Order 
scenes other than Snape/Sirius were caused by or inflated by Molly.
 
Her reaction to Sirius at the begining of the novel was one of the 
most reprehensible in the book.  She accusssed a man who had been 
wrongly tortured for *twelve Years* of not wanting what's best for 
Harry.  The guy who broke out of an unbreakable prison just so he 
could save his godson, but she apparently doesn't think that's good 
enough. Disgusting. Everyone drags out the sorry old song about her 
speaking too harshly just because she loves Harry and so we all 
should forgive her. Sorry, I don't buy it.  There are things you 
don't say and and things you can't take back once they are. 


Alla:

Oh, we are not disagreeing on THIS point at all. I also find Molly's 
speeches to Sirius to be absolutely disgusting. I know that she 
loves Harry, but I think that at that point her jealosy was speaking 
primarily. As in how can Harry love somebody else more than her.

In fact I put them together with Dumbledore's telling Harry that 
Sirius did not treat Kreacher well the minutes after man died.

I am not even talking about Sirius' flaws here ( G-d knows this 
character had plenty of them) what gets to me is the inability of 
both Molly and Dumbledore to RESPECT Harry's feelings  towards 
Sirius. Hmmmm, I just had a thought , if Dumbledore indeed loves 
Harry as much as he claimed at the end of OOP, maybe he was jealous 
of Sirius too. :o) Just speculating here of course.

Yes, words can hurt and even kill and there are some words you can 
never take back. Bravo!



Phoenixgod: 
The robe scene bothers me too, but its just an example of what 
really bothers me about her parenting in general.

Alla:

Could you ellaborate a bit on what bothers you in general? :) I was 
bothered by Molly's absolutel indifference to Ron's concerns. In one 
of discussions about Molly in the past someone said that Molly 
could've at least offered to help Ron to remake the robes and I 
agree with it. Yes, she was stressed and tired a lot when house was 
ful of kids, but still... By the way, I think Ron also behaved as a 
prat there. :)



Phoenixgod:
She absolutely loves her kids, I don't think that anyone would ever 
seriously argue otherwise, but as a teacher who has to deal with 
pushy parents every single day, loving your kids doesn't mean you're 
doing whats right for them.  I know plenty of parents who coddle 
their children, refuse to punish them for anything, punish them for 
everything, give them nothing, give them everything, believe that 
the only dreams they should have are the ones the parents give them, 
and so on ad infinitem.  Molly may love her kids but her love isn't 
doing them any good. She does not get a pass on her attitude from me 
just because she loves her kids.  That does not excuse either her 
actions or her talk, IMO.


Alla:

I understand what you are saying and as I said I do think that 
Molly's parenting has many flaws, but I will not go as far as saying 
that  she wants to crush her children dreams. I firmly believe that 
her arguments with twins are caused by her concern for their future. 
Maybe she is afraid that their shop won't make it out there and she 
wants thm to have a secure job with the  Minsitry, etc.

I am remembering when I was younger and naive and wanted to try to 
get humanitarian education back in Ukraine  and my parents knew for 
a fact that I won't be able to get there no matter how hard I study, 
because jews were simply not allowed to enter ANY prestigious 
colleges. Do you know how many arguments I got into with my parents, 
who BEGGED me to try to go to college to study math ( it was a bit 
easier to enter technical colleges, still not a guarantee).

Not for a second I questioned their love. Well, of course they 
supported me at the end and of course I failed the entrance exams 
for couple years. :o)



Alla, whose favourite Weasleys ARE twins and Ginny.
 

Phoenixgod:
I hate to disagree with you Alla, but I'll figure out some way to 
get you off the Ginny love train :)


Alla:

Snort. You have to try REALLY hard. :o)


Just my opinion of course,

Alla