Weasley Types (was Molly and Arthur )

[lupinlore]

No: HPFGUIDX 125259


--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "horridporrid03"
<horridporrid03 at y...> wrote:

>  

> >So, in short I do think that Molly respects Arthur, although we 
> should look carefully to notice it. :o)<
> 
> Betsy:
> Really good post, Alla. :)  And I agree that Arthur isn't completely 
> trampled by Molly.  Otherwise I think he'd give up on his Muggle 
> things, and I also think the Weasley kids would be a *little* bit 
> less open-minded when it came to Muggle-borns. I just really detest 
> that Molly scolds Arthur like he's one of her children, in front of 
> the children (and a house guest, no less). It's highly 
> *dis*respectful behavior, IMO.
> 


Hmmm.  Good points, but maybe still missing something.  It seems to me
that Arthur and Molly have basically worked out an arrangement
suitable to their different personalities (and that, after all, is the
foundation of any stable relationship).  To use Briggs-Meyers Type
talk, Arthur strikes me as an INFP (introverted, intuitive, feeling,
percieving), whereas Molly seems an ENFJ (extroverted, intuitive,
feeling, judging).  Most personality analyst hold that the two middle
factors are the most important for determining relationship
compatibility, and Molly and Arthur match perfectly as both are
intuitive feelers as opposed to sensing thinkers.

Molly and Arthur's relationship is not unusual for a male INFP and a
female of a different type.  Male INFPs are often quiet and withdrawn,
tending to identify strong areas of interest into which they put a
great deal of energy.  They also are very easygoing except about the
things they find crucially important.  The moment those boundaries or
values are transgressed, they become as very much NOT quiet or
compliant.  Many people, particularly other men, think that INFP
husbands are bullied.  In point of fact the opposite is often true. 
They simply aren't that interested in a lot of things and are
perfectly willing to let their wife take the lead.  However, if the
wife wants a healthy marriage, she has to learn precisely where the
writ of her authority stops.  My own parents were much like this.  My
father was perfectly willing to allow my mother to handle just about
everything about the house and family, except on certain issues.  On
two occasions that I remember (and they were married for over 40 years
which shows how wall my mother knew her bounds) my mother made the
mistake of transgressing on one of his deeply held values and his foot
came down hard enough to crack the foundations.  Yet I would  have to
say both of them seemed perfectly happy and content in their marriage
over the long haul.

> Though I also think the reason Molly is such a scold, and seems to be 
> under so much stress it that Arthur has taken a bit of a pass on 
> being a father towards the younger generation of Weasleys.  He really 
> should have said something to the twins about their treatment of 
> Percy, but I think he was so busy in his shed, mucking about with his 
> Muggle things, he misses how badly behaved his children can be.  And 
> to my mind, that means Arthur is *not* taking a stand on some 
> important things. (Not that he's *completely* out of the picture - 
> just not as present as he should be, IMO.) 
> 
> Maybe he started to give up because Molly wore him down, or maybe 
> Molly's become such a shrew because Arthur has given up.  (It's a bit 
> chicken and egg with that one. <g>) But, though I'm not sure we're 
> going to see a massive Weasley family explosion in the next few 
> books, there is definitely some problems in the Weasley household.
> 

Problems, yes, but I think they are being exaggerated.  Arthur does
allow Molly to run the house.  Why not?  She's good at it and likes to
do it.  It's a classic INFP approach.  But we have little evidence
that the kids don't respect Arthur, which would be the case if he were
not an important presence and influence.  I rather suspect Arthur's
approach to fatherhood involves doing "guy" things with the boys such
as taking them out to the shed and having them hold his tools while he
talks to them.  I think some of this relationship comes through in
CoS, when Ron and the twins "borrow" the car to rescue Harry and
Arthur's first reaction is to say "How did it work?"  If confronted
about his behavior, he would probably say "Look, they were all fine,
the car was fine, everything was fine.  Of course they shouldn't have
done it, and had Molly not been there I would have talked to them
about it.  But she was there and she is much better at scolding than I
am, so I let her take the lead on that."

As to Percy, I think his main problem is that he is a sensing thinker
  (I would label him an ISTJ) in a house of intuitive feelers (The
twins and Ginny are probably ENFPs, and Ron is likely a male ENFJ. 
The older boys we don't see enough, but I suspect they are ENFP/J). 
His whole approach to the world is fundamentally different from
everybody else in the house.  That is a recipe for problems.  Why did
he turn out an ST?  Who knows?  To a certain extent maybe he was just
born that way.  His is not an enviable position.  It is, however, not
an uncommon one, and I think the Weasleys handle it about as well as a
family of their kind could be expected to.


Lupinlore