[HPforGrownups] Sirius as Father Figure (was:Re: How Sirius' death suits Dumbledore?...)

[Sherry Gomes]

No: HPFGUIDX 130642

Alla:

It is clear that we are on the diametrally opposed side of the 
spectrum on this topic, but I just want to make couple  brief 
comments.

I am not arguing that Sirius was exemplary Godfather, but I am saying 
that he had  a potential, which as you said he shows in GoF to be a 
really good one.

Yes, I DO blame a lot of his mistakes in OOP on his depression. I am 
not sure why it is so strange for you. IMO this house holds not only  
bad memories, but horrible memories for Sirius, since he run away 
from home and never looked back.

I found his spiral to be perfectly logical and understandable without 
drugs or alcoholism ( I really would like to see more canon evidence 
on this one, actually. NO, not the sign of Sirius being drunk once,  
but the signs of him being an alcoholic).

And, yes, I cannot help but going back to Dumbledore absolute 
inability of deal with  the psychological issues of the people he 
deals with.

I cannot stand Puppetmaster!Dumbledore. I don't think that Dumbledore 
is a puppetmaster, but I do think that he is in bad need of taking 
psychology 101 course or something like that.

To put the man who craves action in that house, was , IMO, very 
stupid thing to do.
Yes, he probably wanted to save Sirius' life, but I really think that 
he had more chances of helping him to stay alive if he would find 
something to do for him.

Again, as we saw in GoF, Sirius was perfectly capable of staying safe 
and not visible to authorities when he was needed by Harry.
 
Oh, and I also do not think that Sirius "confused" Harry and James 
that much. Sure he was looking for  some James in Harry. I think it 
is perfectly understandable to  try and look for some qualities of 
the parent in the child, especially when parent was your best friend 
and was cruelly taken away from you.

But I think that Sirius loved Harry as Harry too.

As JKR said "Sirius loved James like brother and transferred that 
affection to his son" (paraphrase), which she also calls Sirius' 
greatest redeeming quality.


I don't think Harry has nearly enough of that in his life and would a 
have benefitted greatly from it.


Sherry now:

Alla, of course you know I agree with you.  I think it's easy to forget the
trauma of Sirius life, not just being cooped up in that hateful house, but
the years and years before.  He could even have been suffering from a form
of post traumatic stress disorder, and easily could have been clinically
depressed.  As for Harry not spending much time with him during the stay in
Grimauld place, that actually felt natural.  He seemed secure in his
knowledge that Sirius was there, and so he could easily have fun with his
friends.

As for whether or not Sirius was a good father, well, he was the father
figure Harry wanted and loved.  My dad was not a great father.  He divorced
several times.  He detached himself from his children, starting when each of
his daughter turned 13, but also spreading to his sons.  Yet, we all loved
him, wanted him and hoped for a closer relationship with him.  The outside
world would have judged him harshly, but we did not.  Six years before his
death, he finally grew up and reached out to his kids, all of whom were
adults by then, and most of them with kids of their own.  He worked hard to
get close to us.  We could have scorned him, but we were all ready and eager
to have a close relationship with him.  I imagine Harry feeling like that.
to us, to people like Molly, maybe, Sirius is not an ideal father, but he
and Harry loved each other.  If circumstances had allowed the dream of being
able to have a home together, Sirius could have grown into a great father.
There's no doubt Harry would have been loved, and that Sirius would have
gone to great lengths to care for him and protect him.  

It's probably the hardest thing for me to accept in all the books, that
Harry had to lose the one person he needed so much!  

Sherry