The good Slytherin (mild TBAY)

[horridporrid03]

No: HPFGUIDX 131434

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "nkafkafi" <nkafkafi at y...> 
wrote:

>To: Betsy Horridporrid
>It was brought to our attention that some of the things you have 
written in this forum might imply that there is no proof that the 
House of Slytherin is Evil. Enclosed please find the canon-proven 
list of our members with their grades in our official S.N.A.K.E. 
(Seriously Nasty, Amazingly Kewl Evil) test: 

Betsy Hp:
Eep!  This will teach me to look through the peep-hole *before* 
opening the door.  However, though you seem to have drunk the 
Gryffindor kool-aid (silly thing for a Slytherin to do) I will 
attempt to defend against the obviously influenced dispersions you've 
cast upon your own house. 

>Tom Riddle (murderer at 16, currently an evil overlord): O

Betsy Hp:
Ummm, well... yes.  There's not really much to say about that.  Tom 
has really not done his house proud in the "seriously-not-evil" 
clubs.  Perhaps they should have engaged him in more group hugs?  Or 
included him in some of their evening sing alongs?
 
>Salazar Slytherin (invented the pureblood mania, slipped a basilisk 
into Hogwarts): O

Betsy Hp:
*Inventor* of pureblood mania?!?  Honestly, where's the canon proof 
of that?  I mean, yes, Salazar apparently had some trust issues when 
it came to those attached to the muggle world (probably had something 
to do with the witches and wizards being persecuted by muggles at the 
time) but I'm quite sure he wasn't the first wizard to *ever* 
distrust outsiders.

As to the basilisk, no one really knows *why* Salazar left the 
basilisk behind.  Oh sure, *Tom* had his theories, but are we really 
expected to trust the word of a murderer?
 
>Lucius Malfoy (DE, slips deadly diaries to little girls): E
>Bellatrix Black-Lestrange (DE, professional sadist): E
>Rudolphus Lestrange (DE): E
>Evan Rosier (DE, deceased): E
>Wilkes (DE, deceased): E
>Avery (DE and sycophant): E
>Narcissa Black-Malfoy (DE's wife, took part in the Kreacher plot): A

Betsy Hp:
And so we've reached Malfoy's little crew.  Lucius did know how to 
make cunning use of the sing-alongs.  Tom was quite clever to recruit 
him, and it doesn't surprise me that a powerful group was formed from 
Lucius' school gang.  (I often wonder if Voldemort didn't sniff 
around James Potter whilst he was recruiting.  James may have swung a 
crew of Gryffindors into the Death Eater ranks if he'd been taken 
in.) 

I don't deny that Riddle has cast a long shadow over Slytherin, and 
unfortunately many feel he's reshaped the house into his own image.  
However, there have been glimmers that his shadow is not as over-
reaching as the Gryffindor propaganda has suggested.

>Draco Malfoy (DE's son and proud of it, member of Umbridge's IS): A 
>Vincent Crabbe (DE's son, member of Umbridge's IS): A
>Gregory Goyle (DE's son, member of Umbridge's IS): A
>Pansy Parkinson (member of Umbridge's IS): P
>Bulstrode Millicent (member of Umbridge's IS): P
>Montague (member of Umbridge's IS): P

Betsy Hp:
I'm not really sure why sucking up to the powers that be gets defined 
as evil.  After all, the DA club house had a clearly marked 
sign, "Slytherins need not apply" and Slytherin needed to do 
*something* to make sure they got through Umbridge's reign.  No 
member of the IS attacked a fellow student and left him in such a 
state his parents had to come and collect him.  The IS, while not as 
full of school pride as the DA, isn't really what I'd call evil.

>Theodore Nott (DE's son, loyalty unknown): P
>Marcus Flint (Quidditch Captain, never heard about fair play): D

Betsy Hp:
Now you're just grasping at straws.  A P for being the son of a DE? 
(Talk about blood prejudice.)  I am glad you saw fit to only give 
Marcus a D.  He's not the greatest guy in the world, but as of yet, I 
wouldn't classify him as evil.

>Severus Snape (ex-DE, currently an Order member, not-nice): D
>The Bloody Baron (scary ghost, covered in blood, loyalty unknown): D
>Phineas Nigellus (not-very-nice but on Dumbledore's side): T

Betsy Hp:
Other than the Bloody Baron's ability to control Peeves, I agree that 
we don't know much about him.  The fact that he's allowed to remain 
at Hogwarts tells me that he's most likely loyal to the school.  
Since I classify Snape and Nigellus as "good Slytherins" in their own 
right, I'm not sure why they're even included on this list.  They 
offer proof that Slytherin is *not* evil.

<snip>
>Summary: as you can see, 80% of our canon members had passed the 
SNAKE test with a grade of P or higher, and 60% with a grade of A or 
higher. We would also like to draw your attention to the fact that 
during the period known as the Years of Terror (VW1) the proportion 
of DEs, out of our all canon-approved Slytherins of the then proper 
age, was 100% (hundred percents!). We earnestly wish that you would 
not judge our whole house by the small minority of exceptions which 
haven't managed to follow our high standards. Even if the legendary 
being known as "the good Slytherin" will be proved, at some point in 
the future, to actually exist, we trust that you won't see it as a 
slur on our house.
>As a whole, the House of Slytherin is Evil, Evil, Evil.<

Betsy Hp:
I question your statistics.  You're basing the outlook of an entire 
house with a history that goes back hundreds of years on a mere 
handful of alumni.  I would also argue that the powers that be (aka 
JKR), fond as she is of red herrings and big-bangs, has done her best 
to skew the image of Slytherin.  Judgement should wait, in my 
opinion, until *all* evidence is in.
 
>Sincerely,
>The Slytherin Alumni

Betsy Hp:
You really *did* drink the kool-aid!  Don't you recall the warnings 
about accepting gifts from Gryffindors, *especially* when they're 
edible?  Haven't you heard the rumors about what Gryffindors have 
done to their *own* housemates?!?  But don't worry.  There's a very 
good Slytherin with strong potion skills who'll straighten you right 
out. :)

Betsy Hp, who's a bit nervous she ranked TBAY notice, mild as it was