In Defense of DD (was Re: DD's dilemma)

[nrenka]

No: HPFGUIDX 126602


--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "justcarol67" 
<justcarol67 at y...> wrote:

>> Lupinlore wrote:
>> <snip> I really am curious what evidence you see, John, for
>> Dumbledore having any remorse for Harry's suffering?  I'm not 
>> trying to be a smart-a**, I'm really curious.  I grant that he 
>> seems sorry for his mistakes of Harry's fifth year, but I see no 
>> evidence at all that he has any remorse for the pain his decisions 
>> have inflicted on Harry over the last fifteen years.  And absence 
>> evidence of such sorrow, and a much better explanation of his 
>> decisions, then I and others simply don't see him the way JKR 
>> wishes us to. <snip>
> 
> Carol responds:
> Forgive me, Lupinlore, but I really wish you wouldn't assume that 
> your views coincide with those of the group or even most of its 
> members. We really can't know what others think, can we? You're 
> opinions and you're entitled to them, but please treat them as just 
> that--your opinions.

If one were to have read the other notes in this and various other 
threads, I believe that Lupinlore was using 'others' to refer to 
other people that he had spoken with and discussed these issues with 
who were not necessarily members of this group.  Some people here do 
agree with him.  The first person "I see no evidence" is also a 
statement of personal intent, as I understand it. :)

> That aside, can you show me any evidence that Harry has suffered
> long-term damage from being left with the Dursleys, or from any 
> other decisions of Dumbledore's?

This comes up every few months, but I thought I'd offer my 
perspective upon it. 

I'd say the most important thing in the plot of the series is that 
Harry has a very real and tangible reluctance to go to adults for 
help, and this is a result of adults always having been unreliable in 
his life.  He doesn't tell Dumbledore what he's thinking and of his 
odd experiences in CoS; he keeps mum about the quill in OotP out of a 
desire to protect McGonagall.  That kind of intense independence is 
something that Harry takes to an extent which is distinctly unhealthy 
(especially in the case of the quill).

There's no denying Harry's bitterness when he states about Petunia 
that "She never loved me!".  He's reluctant to engage with the 
Weasleys, who are happy to try to be surrogate parents.  Harry is 
reluctant to let anyone know about his scar pains in GoF, but does 
open up about that to Sirius, indicating the rare position of trust 
that Sirius holds for him.  Harry's inwardness can be strength, but 
it's also a weakness, and it seems generated in part by the loveless 
home of the Dursleys.  He is lucky to have the support of his friends 
as much as he does, and he is distinctly less functional when his 
support net is decreased (when Ron is not talking to him).  That 
points to someone who really must have that support, not someone to 
whom it is really just the icing on the cake.

<snip>

> I'm at a loss as to what you want Dumbledore to apologize *for,* 
> and I'm quite sure that Harry would be astounded if he did any such 
> thing.

This is a different tack to take on it, but I think Dumbledore owes 
Harry an apology (and admitted as such and done it, in part) for 
keeping him in the dark.  He should have come clean about any number 
of things *long* before the end of the year (and the end of the 
book), and he knows it.  Knowledge could have prevented a lot of 
worrying and trouble that exploded into disaster.  Harry is 
important, nay, essential--and as such has the right to both know and 
learn for himself, and not merely rely upon the knowledge of the 
Headmaster.  Ignorance is not bliss, it breeds miscommunication and 
ill-informed actions.

It would probably be a further balm to Harry's soul to talk over the 
circumstances of his being left at the Dursleys, and the depth of 
Dumbledore's regret at taking such actions that he knew would result 
in a stifled childhood bereft of many of the positive experiences 
that Harry might have otherwise had.  I can't imagine having grown up 
without little birthday parties or the feeling of being wanted by my 
parents.

> Carol, who is a bit disconcerted by this new format and hopes that 
> the List Elves can do something about the jumbled mess on the home 
> page as it appears in Netscape 7.2

Sorry--no can do there, I think.  I don't like this bizzare new 
format better than anyone else does, but there doesn't seem to be a 
way to opt out of it.  We'll be up on what can be done about it, 
though.

-Nora starts to catalog saints for fun but not profit