In Defense of DD (was Re: DD's dilemma)

[lupinlore]

No: HPFGUIDX 126675


--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "nrenka" <nrenka at y...> wrote:
> 
> --- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "justcarol67" 
> <justcarol67 at y...> wrote:
> 
<SNIP>

> 
> If one were to have read the other notes in this and various other 
> threads, I believe that Lupinlore was using 'others' to refer to 
> other people that he had spoken with and discussed these issues 
with 
> who were not necessarily members of this group.  Some people here 
do 
> agree with him.  The first person "I see no evidence" is also a 
> statement of personal intent, as I understand it. :)


Exactly Nora.  Thank you.  I was not aware that for some reason 
people were reading "others" as "all others in the group."  Those are 
two VERY different things.


> 
> > That aside, can you show me any evidence that Harry has suffered
> > long-term damage from being left with the Dursleys, or from any 
> > other decisions of Dumbledore's?
> 
> This comes up every few months, but I thought I'd offer my 
> perspective upon it. 
> 
> I'd say the most important thing in the plot of the series is that 
> Harry has a very real and tangible reluctance to go to adults for 
> help, and this is a result of adults always having been unreliable 
in 
> his life.  He doesn't tell Dumbledore what he's thinking and of his 
> odd experiences in CoS; he keeps mum about the quill in OotP out of 
a 
> desire to protect McGonagall.  That kind of intense independence is 
> something that Harry takes to an extent which is distinctly 
unhealthy 
> (especially in the case of the quill).
> 
> There's no denying Harry's bitterness when he states about Petunia 
> that "She never loved me!".  He's reluctant to engage with the 
> Weasleys, who are happy to try to be surrogate parents.  Harry is 
> reluctant to let anyone know about his scar pains in GoF, but does 
> open up about that to Sirius, indicating the rare position of trust 
> that Sirius holds for him.  Harry's inwardness can be strength, but 
> it's also a weakness, and it seems generated in part by the 
loveless 
> home of the Dursleys.  He is lucky to have the support of his 
friends 
> as much as he does, and he is distinctly less functional when his 
> support net is decreased (when Ron is not talking to him).  That 
> points to someone who really must have that support, not someone to 
> whom it is really just the icing on the cake.


I agree totally.  I would add that I think this is likely to become 
an even greater issue in the upcoming books.  But, I suppose we shall 
see.  


> 
> <snip>
> 
> > I'm at a loss as to what you want Dumbledore to apologize *for,* 
> > and I'm quite sure that Harry would be astounded if he did any 
such 
> > thing.
> 
> This is a different tack to take on it, but I think Dumbledore owes 
> Harry an apology (and admitted as such and done it, in part) for 
> keeping him in the dark.  He should have come clean about any 
number 
> of things *long* before the end of the year (and the end of the 
> book), and he knows it.  Knowledge could have prevented a lot of 
> worrying and trouble that exploded into disaster.  Harry is 
> important, nay, essential--and as such has the right to both know 
and 
> learn for himself, and not merely rely upon the knowledge of the 
> Headmaster.  Ignorance is not bliss, it breeds miscommunication and 
> ill-informed actions.
> 
> It would probably be a further balm to Harry's soul to talk over 
the 
> circumstances of his being left at the Dursleys, and the depth of 
> Dumbledore's regret at taking such actions that he knew would 
result 
> in a stifled childhood bereft of many of the positive experiences 
> that Harry might have otherwise had.  I can't imagine having grown 
up 
> without little birthday parties or the feeling of being wanted by 
my 
> parents.

Once again, I agree totally.  I also would add that Dumbledore 
himself, as nora has pointed out in other posts, practically admits 
that his age and experience have rendered him rather incapable of 
relating properly to the pain younger people often experience when 
faced with cruel circumstances.



> 
> > Carol, who is a bit disconcerted by this new format and hopes 
that 
> > the List Elves can do something about the jumbled mess on the 
home 
> > page as it appears in Netscape 7.2
> 
> Sorry--no can do there, I think.  I don't like this bizzare new 
> format better than anyone else does, but there doesn't seem to be a 
> way to opt out of it.  We'll be up on what can be done about it, 
> though.
> 

Lupinlore, who adds his voice to the general clamor of confusion and 
distaste over the new format.