FILK: Whatever Became of Barty?

[a_svirn]

No: HPFGUIDX 129091

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "athene42100" 
<department.of.mysteries at g...> wrote:
> I wrote this filk about Barty Crouch, Sr. aaaages ago, but never
> posted it anywhere but my LJ.  This is to the tune of Tom Lehrer's
> "Whatever Became of Hubert?"  I have searched for a MIDI or mp3 or
> other sound file, but none seem to exist online.
> 
> 
> 
> Whatever became of Barty?
> What caused him to disappear?
> Once his prospects were grand,
> And with wand in his hand
> He guaranteed his career.
> 
> Once the future Minister QED,
> Ah, but now his son's hobby impedes, he
> Is no longer a good candidate,
> For Junior it's too little too late.
> 
> "We must confess this scandal, Barty,"
> Says each newspaper reader.
> "Has made us wary of your party,
> Please don't be our leader."
> 
> Whatever became of you, Barty?
> What office do you now hold?
> Is it big? Is it grand?
> Do you now rule the land?
> Does the world in your hand
> Unfold?
> 
> Does Percy, devoting his life to your cause
> Know the things you have done and the breaks in your laws?
> Are you the newest convert to "spew"?
> Barty, what happened to you?

Barty replies:

Confound my boring career! 
For one wonderful, soul-wrenching kiss
I knew incomparable bliss,
But now I feel sort of queer