W.A.F.F.L.E.S. (long)

[ellecain]

No: HPFGUIDX 142574

Hey everyone!

After catching up on various posts I just have to
comment on the Staff activities/Snape's iPod thread 
that spawned serious music discussions later.
I enjoyed the posts thoroughly, and I laughed aloud
imagining Jogging!Snape listening to Pink Floyd's 'The Wall'

(BTW now I know Snape's Muggle world identity and profession -
lead singer of Nine Inch Nails - I think we should send an article
to the Quibbler entitled "Severus Snape - Cold Hearted Murderer
or Innocent Singing Sensation?") : -)

Anyway, while I love the thought provoking posts by the more 
intelligent listmembers, I think it necessary to allow for some 
humourous respite among them. We cant be serious all the time can we?
So with a view to promoting this sort of capricious jocular posting 
behaviour I have taken the liberty of giving it a title.

I propose that this sort of thing be called W.A.F.F.L.E.S.
the translation of which is:
Whimsical Adventure of Fanciful Frivolity, Lighthearted but 
Entertaining Speculation

Now this is my second ever acronym, so please be kind.
It was the best I could come up with and I'm sure  that smarter, 
more experienced listmembers can come up with something better.
Now the whole point of W.A.F.F.L.E.S. is to speculate on 
small insignificant things, and allow for wildly fantastic imagery 
to support it for the sheer humour value. It's all about details, 
tiny things that we may never see a satisfactory explanation of in 
canon, doesnt have anything to do with future plot twists or 
insightful readings and revealations, yet cannot be consigned to the 
OT Chatter list.
As long as it is in some
way lighthearted or frivolous, one may call it W.A.F.F.L.E
One who W.A.F.F.L.E.S. is a W.A.F.F.L.E.R and anyone is allowed to 
be one.
The symbol of W.A.F.F.L.E.S. is......you guessed it....a waffle!
(but we could have An Elixir To Induce Euphoria)

So, what can we  W.A.F.F.L.E about? The colour of Lupin's eyes (we 
havent been told IIRC), whether Flitwick is touchy about being 
short, the games on Draco's playstation, whether Phineas Nigellus 
was really ever a teacher and if so what subject did he teach, James 
Potter's hex on Bertram Aubrey, how Bellatrix henpecks her 
husband....you get the picture.

Now I'm going to W.A.F.F.L.E, so I give you fair warning. If you 
dont like slightly malodramaic posts about ludicrous issues then 
feel free to skip this post. I know they can be irritating and 
annoying and you might want to focus on more important issues.I 
assure you I wont be offended.

So, straight into it. Today's diatri- I mean post, is going to 
explore the issue of...

<insert much fanfare, trumpets, and drumroll here>

Hair
Or more specifically, Long Hair.
As Uncle Vernon says in PoA :"No need to tell us hes no good.
Look at the state of his hair, the filthy layabout!"

Now I have nothing against long hair or men with long hair.
Some of the hunkiest actors in Hollywood from Brad Pitt to Jhonny 
Depp have looked swoon worthy in long hair.

But why, why ,why does Snape have long hair?
This has bothered me for a very long time. I think we can take it 
for granted that Snape is not a vain man. I think the greasy hair, 
the yellow teeth, the lack of wardrobe variation, points us in this 
direction. But if he really does not care about his looks, 
shouldnt he get a low maintenance crew cut which would ensure his 
hair getting washed when he has a bath?
(assuming he does have a bath :-))
Or he could go for the skinhead look and shave off his hair entirely.
If he really does care about his hair then shouldnt he wash it a bit 
more often? Or is Harry overly prejudiced when he describes it as 
greasy?

But he is not the only one. Why does Sirius have long hair?
It does not add to his looks. We have been told that he looks 
handsome in the Potters' wedding picture where he has short hair. In 
GoF when Harry talks to him in the fire his hair is short and he is 
described as looking better than he did with long hair. Yet in OOTP
when Harry talks to him in the fire he sweeps his long hair off his 
face.So why did he suddenly change from short hair to long hair 
which doesnt suit him? Is this a silent competition with Snape - my 
hair is longer than yours...sorta thing.

Snape is bent, maybe evil. His long hair is just barely acceptable 
but Sirius? Doesnt he knoe he looks good with his hair short? Hasnt 
anyone told him or did he not look in a mirror when his hair was 
short and fell with a casual elegance in his eyes....?

<pause to drool over handsome pre-Azkaban Sirius with misty eyed 
expession on face>

<snaps back to reality> 
Hey who says I cant like Snape and Sirius at the same time?
<waves at Siriusly Snapey Susan>

But if we get into the hair question, how does one cut his or her 
hair at Hogwarts? Do they have a spell that stops it growing?
How come Harry, Ron, the Weasleys all have no haircuts?
Is Sleakezy's hair potion really just a shampoo rip off from the 
Muggle world? What other magical haircare products do they have?

Elyse, who admits to being vain about her shoulder length locks