Etiquette WAS Re: polite Dumbledore?

[a_svirn]

No: HPFGUIDX 142621


> Valky:
> OTOH the Dursley's refused his gift, and struggled with their own
> inability to follow *their* code of behaviour. 

a_svirn:

Did they now? I thought they were struggling with a bit of magic and 
not surprisingly fighting a loosing battle: three muggles against 
the most powerful wizard in the world.  

> Valky:
>Dumbledore acted beyond
> as well any sensitive alien to British formal culture could be
> expected to act. 

a_svirn:

Really? Sensitive to what? Dumbledore's behaviour is actually 
nothing but bullying, pure and simple. Of course he wasn't crude 
while he was at it – it's not his style. But sensitive? 

> Valky:
>It can be seen from the both sides of the table. From
> Dumbledores end it can be seen as good faith - he has followed 
custom
> and therefore has every right to expect reciprocation of custom.

a_svirn:
What custom did Dumbledore follow? He came uninvited and took the 
position of his host; I'd like you to direct me to any book or site 
where such behaviour would be described as customary or as an 
example of good manners. Of course, it may be that wizards customary 
deal with muggles in that fashion. After all we saw Scrimgeour doing 
just that in the Prime Minister's office. 

> Valky:
The
> Dursleys are just cornered because they cannot hide their prejudice
> and ugliness behind proper manners, 

a_svirn:

The Dursleys are cornered, because they are cornered. They are 
powerless, regardless of their manners. 


> Valky:
it would be more polite for them
> to drink the offered gift and nod ceremoniously at Dumbledore's
> conversation. It was definitely their own disservice to themselves
> that they couldn't.

a_svirn:
You know, when I'm at home *I* am the one who does the offerings, be 
it a place to seat, a refreshment, or a conversational gambit. To 
seat before it's suggested by your host IS rude. To offer a drink to 
your host IS rude. To demand any such thing even in the "shell we 
assume" form IS rude. Because ALL THIS IS A PREROGATIVE OF YOUR 
HOST. And if I don't want to see a visitor, to entertain them and to 
let them in *my* house I am within my rights to simply refuse to do 
any such thing. It is not polite to trespass on my property (in fact 
it's a criminal offence), impose on my privacy and practically give 
orders in my own place all the while preaching manners. 


> Valky:
> Now this I absolutely agree with, but I will have to think on it 
some
> more. My first intuition is that Harry felt disgusted that 
Dumbledore
> afforded the superficial pompness of custom his bother, and maybe 
he
> was reminded of the Dursley's themselves pressing their civility on
> others to gain the upper hand. Any other thoughts?

a_svirn:
My thought is that Harry has learned to recognise bullying when he 
sees it.