OFH! Snape again. WAS: Straightforward readings?

[raie8]

No: HPFGUIDX 140891

My apologies, there are so many good posts relating to this I went 
crosseyed trying to find the specific ones to site. Hopefully they 
are still fresh enough for mine to make some sense.

When I see Snape, I see someone who doesn't like themselves very 
much. Yes he can be a nasty person, and very `severe' as it were with 
people especially subordinates, but I think he is never as much as he 
is with himself. Like with many of us, he is his own worst critic. As 
far as him showing remorse and forgiveness, isn't the first and most 
difficult, step always to forgive your self? In order to love someone 
aren't we taught that we must first love ourselves?

As far as what DD thinks of him, I think he is worried. He still 
trusts him but Snape is still kind of a wild card. At the end of GoF 
when he sends Severus back to LV, it is with 'apprehension' in his 
voice. Also his appearance is more pale and sallow than usual, 
obviously unnerved and stressed throughout OoP. In HBP he begins to 
break down during the talk with DD in the forest. "You take too much 
for granted, I cannot do this anymore" it appears that DD 
apprehensions are manifesting: He who fights with monsters might take 
care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into 
an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you(Nietzsche).
 I think this speculation is well justified, seeing how DD was able 
to bring him back from the brink once before but under the added 
pressure and fluid circumstances, he is liable to become what he has 
fought for so long both in his own mind and in others. Apparently  he 
has been stereotyped/labeled a dark wizard from the beginning. If 
everyone believes you are bad and that is all they expect and ever 
see in you, why not give in and go with it? Maybe it will bring you a 
sense of purpose and belonging. It is a lame excuse, but it happens. 
That is my belief why he became a DE in the first place, as well as 
for the power.

In HBP after the tower scene when Harry confronts him, I believe this 
is the pinnacle of Snapes loathing and hatred of himself. Of all the 
things that he has done, this by far has been the worst/most 
difficult and will be impossible to forgive himself for. His final 
act of damnation, if he wasn't tainted enough already, has sealed his 
fate beyond reproach. I see it as an ultimate sacrifice beyond that 
of death; this is his soul he is giving up. For someone who has been 
fighting/struggling his own darkness for so long to place so much 
trust and faith in their cause and plan is quite commendable. Look 
what it has done/is doing to him. I cant imagine being forced to make 
a decision like that but Harry glimpsed its expression on Snape's 
face. As far as his response of `don't call me coward' and the rage 
with witch it was imbued, I immediately think of the phrase "so that 
others may live" the compelling factor for ends justifying the means. 
It was unavoidable but necessary so that the fight may continue and 
save many more lives. I agree that DD was as good as dead; the ring 
weakened him enough for the poison to mortally affect him. It was 
important that Harry not believe or blame himself for his part in his 
mentor's demise. (In the cave Harry even thinks and allude to killing 
DD by feeding him the poison IIRC) as well as for Draco to not have 
blood on his hands. If Snape does it he spares both of them and 
improves his status with LV and DE, possibly gaining enough trust to 
ferret out the remaining hx. It is an unpleasant situation but war 
does not discriminate and they are fighting for their world as they 
know it.

A stray thought: I think that his bogart is himself, Severus Snape –
just like Neville's. As far as what Snape sees in the mirror of 
Erise; all that he has ever wanted or sought - respect.

Raie
(who does not take credit for many of the ideas since they most 
likely originated from BetsyHp, vmonte, ceridwen, potioncat, etc and 
everyone else who contributed to this thread)